Joyful Sadness
by Sins of Angels
Summary: Slightly AU. Lily's world is falling apart and James has taken it upon himself to supergule it back together, putting aside his own broken pieces to help her repair hers. Follows them around for their seventh year. Enjoy. COMPLETE!
1. Three Days Ago

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Chapter 1 – Three Days Ago

James ran to the train, hoping his extreme lateness would have driven his friends on the train already. In fact he had been at the muggle station since nine this morning, but had chosen to sit on a bench and watch the muggles. He faintly regretted giving up muggle studies. He spent nearly two hours watching them and discovered he found them quite amusing. But he could not afford to run into his friends. Not yet. First he had to make sense of it himself, and she was the only one who could help. He only wished she was Head Girl as he made his way to the Heads' compartment, not lingering so people wouldn't notice him. If she wasn't there, he would have to find her. He needed her to explain to him what had happened three days ago. When she had done something completely unexpected. It was important he knew exactly what had happened, for it did not seem like a matter that could be taken lightly. He opened the compartment door and breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the vivid red hair, pulled tight in a bun except for one curly strand in front, too short to be grabbed. Her bright emerald eyes left the book and fixed themselves on him. They widened as the girl they belonged to drew back slightly when he entered. He stored his trunk and then took the seat opposite of her as her book traveled so that it would block her face.

"Congratulations on becoming Head Boy, Potter," said the girl, from behind the book.

"Thanks. And nice job on becoming Head Girl."

The book thanked him. After a couple of minutes it was obvious that was the end of the conversation as far as the girl was concerned. James ran a hand through his hair and leaned toward the book, but in his mind he was leaning towards the face of the girl who had showed up with his dad three nights ago in his fireplace and spent the night crying in his arms. The same girl who just referred to him by his last name, as if saying his first would imply that they were somehow friends. The most beautiful and puzzling girl on this planet, according to him. And now he needed to piece the puzzle of three nights ago together before he even said a word about anything remotely concerning it to anyone else. And even then James wasn't sure if he would say anything. He didn't know what had happened, just that she had been broken, maybe beyond repair.

"Look, Evans…Lily," he started. "Are…are you okay?"

"Perfectly fine," Lily said from behind her book.

"Well…were you okay?"

"What in the world are you talking about, Potter?" Lily snapped, slamming the book shut. The door opened and both of them watched as eight stunned fifth-year prefects looked at them in a mixture of wonder and awe. Lily stuffed the book in her bag at her feet and motioned for the prefects to come in. After collecting passwords, assigning patrol routes and times, giving instructions and guidelines and reminding everyone of the rules, they reluctantly left again and Lily took out her book once more. James carefully held it by the top of the spine and Lily gave him an inquisitive look. "What is it that you want?"

"An explanation would be greatly appreciated."

Lily's eyes betrayed her mask of composure by showing the moment of fear she had as he said that. "Of what?"

"Of what happened."

"What do you mean? What happened when?"

"What happened that night three days ago. That night my dad came back from the ministry after being called out during dinner with you at his side. How did you get there? And what caused all that sadness?"

Lily's eyes filled up with what were obviously tears. "Must we talk about it now, James?" she whispered.

"I have to know. I have to know now, Lily. Look," he said and enchanted the door locked and shielded. "See? Now you're only talking to me."

"Look, something horrible happened that day, okay? It doesn't concern you."

"Lily, it concerned me from the moment that a tear escaped your eyes. Now please tell me what happened. This is something I need explained to me now; because it's not something I can forget about. Now please tell me what happened."

Lily sat back in her seat and brought up a hand to catch a tear before it fell. She looked out the window to avoid looking at James. "My parents were killed three days ago, James. That's the reason I was at the ministry. Deatheaters did it. And to think my sister had a fit about you talking about dementors at a muggle train station end of last year."

James looked at her, shocked and at a loss for words.

"My little brother is a soul-less shell thanks to those stupid Azkaban guards and my dog was chewed to shreds by a werewolf. A giant came by and paid a visit to my house, which he promptly smashed the right side of. About the only one that was okay is my sister because she was on her honeymoon with her revolting new husband, and when I told her the next day about what had happened, she yelled at me and said it was all my fault and I don't blame her. That's what happened three days ago."

Lily got up and, with James's shocked eyes on her, walked out of the compartment and straight into the bathroom next door, at which point he heard the door being bolted in every way possible. Every so often a loud sob could be heard from the bathroom. James hadn't even moved to close the door. He sat there, staring at the spot where she sat and the tear stain on the cushion, not realizing that his own eyes were close to shedding tears. Tears of anger at how helpless she was and how he couldn't make it better. Most of all, tears of anger at himself for making her relive it. He wiped the tears away and put his head in his hands. Just then three shadows were cast by three boys standing in the doorway of the compartment. If James had looked up, he would have noticed only one of the three advance and the door close. The shadow's owner sat in the seat opposite of him, where Lily's book lay open with tearstains on practically half the pages.


	2. Family Disputes

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: Sorry I didn't have a little introduction to the first chapter...it's my first story and all. It'll be greatly appreciated if you review, especially if you point out something that wasn't implied in the books becasue I am trying to make this as real to the actual books as I can. So all reviews are welcome. I'm trying to work out the kinks in this website, but seeing as I have trouble finding my way out of a box, the directions were not exactly clear. However, I can post my story, and as long as that works I'm happy. Anyway, I daresay this will be one of the very few author's notes I do because this is about the story, not about me. Anyway, enjoy!

Chapter 2 – Family Disputes

"James…" the boy started, closing the book after he had examined it briefly. "James?"

James lifted his head to be greeted by the worried face of his friend, Remus Lupin. "Remus. I see you've found me."

"Yes, we have. And I must admit, not in the state we expected. Sirius and Peter are just wandering around, waiting for my signal that it's okay to come in. What's wrong, James? Ever since your dad asked Sirius to move to my house three days ago, you've been avoiding us. Sitting at the muggle station for two hours-don't think I didn't see you-and just generally not talking with any of us. We're worried, mate. What's wrong?"

"I pushed her…I made her cry…" James mumbled, looking at his friend's puzzled face. "I shouldn't have done that. I should've left well enough alone. But I didn't."

The door next to the compartment opened and Lily came out. She had wiped the tears and washed her face, but her once-tight bun had considerably loosened. Now more curly locks of her hair fell to frame her face. Her eyes had no trace of tears and it was impossible to tell she was upset at all. The only hint that something was wrong was that she paused before turning the corner and smiled widely, as if warming up. She walked down to hall and saw Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, the lesser half of the Marauders. Passing by the Heads' compartment without so much as a second glance, she marched right in the middle of the argument between Sirius and his brother, a fifth-year prefect named Regulus.

"Why, hello, Evans. Isn't this a pleasant surprise," Sirius scowled. "If you will be so kind as to step away from this little family dispute, it would be greatly appreciated."

"No, I don't think I can do that, Black," Lily said, savoring this moment. "See, this little badge here indicates I'm Head Girl, and as Head Girl I have an obligation to keep the overall peace and harmony in the school and on the trains."

"Yeah? Well, I don't give a crap about your shiny badge you've got pinned to your shirt. As a brother of this scum behind you, I have a given right to pummel him as I see fit."

Lily took out her wand. "You know, my sister is just like you, Black. It makes me sick."

Sirius regarded Lily's wand with a mocking smile. "Are you attempting to imply that you expect to somehow win a duel between us?"

"I will win, Black. You mark my words."

"So either you've drastically improved over the summer or you're out of your wits," Sirius said, lazily taking out his wand. He pointed it at the floor as he yawned. "Evans, I'm giving you your last chance of walking away unharmed. I need to speak with my dear little brother and you seem to be in the way."

"I am not moving Black. Although, you may be interested to know that this little badge on my shirt gives me considerably more power than a prefect. I'd suggest that you put your wand away and come with me into the Heads' compartment or face the appropriate punishment."

"Oh, yeah? And what will that punishment be?"

Lily smiled, savoring the next sentence she uttered. "Suspension until further notice from the Gryffindor Quiddich team."

Sirius's mouth dropped open and his wand fumbled in his hands. His eyes darted to her, his brother, then to the Heads' compartment where James was. "You can't do that!"

"My dear Black, I daresay I can. You see, as Head Girl, it is up to me to determine the punishment. And, well, obstruction of peace, intentions of violence and disregard for authority are serious offences. Now, I'd suggest you direct your fumbling hand holding your wand to wherever it is you keep your wand and put it away."

Sirius gulped and carefully put his wand away, looking at Lily with deepest loathing and hatred. Peter did the same, from Sirius's right shoulder. "Go to hell, Evans," Sirius said quietly.

"Already there, Black. Now, please, after you. Go in the Heads' compartment, will you? You too, Pettigrew. Oh, and make sure you don't start trouble with young Black here again, because I will hear about it."

Sirius grumbled his way down the hall and Peter followed after him, shooting Lily dirty looks as he went. Lily turned to Regulus. "Thanks," he mumbled. "You don't have to do that in the future though, I can handle him."

"Don't be afraid to give him detention. You have that right now and you have more power than him."

Regulus smiled at her in a way that no one else saw, which was understandable seeing as he was a Slytherin and she was a Gryffindor. She walked towards the compartment after Sirius and Peter and opened the door, walking in and finding Remus Lupin in her seat. She gave him a puzzled smile and said, "Hello. You seem to have my bag in front of your feet."

Remus got up immediately. "Sorry about that. Congratulations on making Head Girl, Lily." He extended his hand ignoring Sirius's mocking and grumbling. Lily shook it and smiled.

"Thank you. And don't worry about that, it just came as a bit of a surprise, that's all." Lily made her way to her seat and Remus to his. Just then the train jerked to a halt. James looked up at Lily. She was faintly upset not to see any trace of emotion concerning earlier on his face.

Looking at Lily's face, James was relieved to see she wasn't about to bring up what had happened before. He wasn't sure he could handle it. "What's going on?" he asked. Lily shrugged and the others gave him a puzzled look. Lily got up.

"Well, I'll go tell the prefects to make sure the students don't leave their compartments and you can go talk to the…the driver, I think he's called. Anyway, find out what and come back here and we'll take it from there."

James nodded and left. Lily paused before exiting.

"I'd appreciate it if you three stayed in here as an example which, I regret to say, most students will follow simply because you're the Marauders."

"No threat of a punishment?" Sirius asked.

"No, this is simply a request. Keep in mind that for all we know, anyone who leaves is in danger. By influencing others to stay in you may very well be keeping them out of harm's way." Lily hoped that would convince them. Sirius reached in his bag and took out a chessboard.

"Want to play, Moony? We'll be in here a while."

Lily smiled and left. She quickly sent the prefects out to make sure everyone stays in and told them it wouldn't hurt to mention the Marauders are staying put as well. She returned to the Heads' compartment to find James leaning against the door when she opened it. He stumbled backwards and hit into her, sending her against the wall. He turned around and quickly spilled out five apologies in a row. She laughed at him.

"It's okay. It was an accident. So what happened?"

"Apparently something was dragging in the back so they decided to find out what it is."

"There's no students there, right?"

"He said there were personnel there to help, but I'm not sure."

Lily and James both looked at each other and started to dash to the back of the train at the same time. In their wake students' heads popped out of the compartments and stared at them. Lily abruptly stopped halfway to the last train car and caused James to bump into her. He looked over her shoulder and gasped.


	3. The Thestral Curse

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Chapter 3 – The Thestral Curse 

"You do not say that something's dragging in the back if it's bigger than the whole train! You say something big is behind us!" Lily fumed as she examined the scene. "I can't believe you're transporting a herd of hippogriffs! Are those things even allowed in Hogwarts? What if the students see them?"

"I think that's why they added a train car. It's just for the personnel. Calm down, Evans, it's okay. All that happened was that the cage rocked."

"Don't they have other means of transport? You're wizards, for Merlin's sake!"

James laughed at her. She turned to him and frowned. "You said Merlin. That's a very wizardly thing to say, you know."

"Well, seeing as I happen to be a witch, I guess I have a right to say that. Now, are you sure you've got everything under control?" Lily asked, directing to the magical creature managers, who nodded enthusiastically in the hope she'd go away. Lily rolled her eyes and left, closing and locking the door between them and the rest of the train. With a sudden jolt the train started again and Lily was pushed against the wall.

"You okay?" James said with a smile on his face.

"Yes, Potter, I'm fine," Lily said, getting herself off the wall. "I just lost my balance a bit, that's all."

"A bit? My dear, you nearly fell on the floor."

"Well, I didn't, now did I? And I am not, in anyway, dear to you."

"Ah, Lily Evans, that's where you are mistaken. You are, in fact, very dear to me."

"Right, Potter. Pull the other one, it's got bells on it."

"No, I mean it."

"Look, I will never go out with you, so you can stop this insane charade."

"Evans, will you go out with me?"

Lily looked at him, trying to fathom his meaning. "No, Potter. The answer, as always, is no. And yet you keep persisting. Why?"

"The way I figure it, Evans, every time I ask you out you have two choices. One is to say yes and go out with me. The other is to say no and miss out. Therefore, every time I ask you out I have a fifty-fifty chance of you saying yes, and those are not bad odds."

"Potter, you're hopeless. Sure, I have two answer choices, but what is the likelihood I'll say yes?"

James stopped dead in his tracks and stared at her with his head cocked to one side. His mouth opened and closed like that of a fish and his face became a picture of puzzlement. Lily, who had kept going, stopped and turned to look at him. She laughed and went up to him.

"Let's go, shall we? We're right in front of the door."

Sirius opened up the compartment. It seems like he had just lost the chess game. "James, mate, I'm so glad to see you. Remus beat me again. Would you like to play?"

James gave Lily one final look of puzzlement and then turned to his friend. "What? Oh, yeah, sure."

James walked in, Lily trailing behind. She sat down and fell asleep, letting the world pass her by as she grew ever so closer to her second home, Hogwarts.

"Lily, you have to get dressed," James said, shaking her to wake up. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked out the window at the clear night sky. James smiled at her confusion. "Come on! I've taken all the guys out of here so you can change. Now get up, Evans! We're practically there!"

James left and Lily got up, hurriedly changing so she could get to her assigned door on time. As the train stopped completely, she stepped out and smoothly opened the door, exposing herself to the cries of McGonnagall calling the first years. She turned, wondering briefly where Hagrid was, but then remembered the herd of hippogriffs at the back of the train. Relieved that the situation was in the hands of Hagrid, she smiled to herself. She hadn't even noticed no one else was coming out of her door until James gave a polite cough behind her.

"Shall we?" he asked, offering his hand and bowing slightly. Lily gave him a puzzled and suspicious look. "I was under the impression that we had our own carriage."

"I hope your friends don't come in this time," Lily said, scowling as she ignored his hand and headed to their carriage. James rebounded quickly and trotted along after her. "I only kept my mouth shut in the train because that way I could keep an eye on them. However, I am in no mood to be in a confined space with Sirius Black."

"You definitely kept them in check while you were sleeping," James said, feebly trying to defend his friend without totally upsetting her. "And, no, it'll just be the two of us."

Lily turned towards the door, but stopped. She looked at the harnesses. They have been empty since her first year, but now in their place stood an eerily beautiful animal she had seen described as a Thestral in one of her library books. She turned and came to the front of the carriage and gently stroked the animal. James cocked his head to one side and faintly smiled at her fascination. "They're beautiful," Lily said. Hagrid must have just trained them this year."

"No, they've always been there," James said, shaking his head.

"But I've never seen them before," Lily said, turning her attention to James, who shifted uncomfortably.

"They're…special."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…there's a price to pay to see them. It's not as simple as just noticing them out of the blue."

"Well, what's different this year? I read about thestrals, but I don't remember there being a condition of any kind."

James opened the coach door. "You have to have seen someone die," he said, looking straight in the coach and walking in as soon as he finished. Lily darted her eyes from the coach to the thestral and pulled her hand away quickly. She ran into the carriage after James and sat across from him. He hurriedly put away a small square mirror as she walked in.

"Wait…who–who did you see die? And how long ago?" Lily asked, sitting across from him. James turned to look out the window. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Look, I've been seeing them since my first year. It's–it's not uncommon to see someone die when your dad works at the ministry and you visit, what with Voldemort and all."

Lily looked at him, well aware he was lying about something. She sighed and looked out the window at the struggling boats with McGonnagall heading them. Another carriage came into view and a thestral looked at her. Suddenly memories came flooding back to her from that night. In the creature's eyes she saw the corner, the bush tall enough for her to hide behind. Her house, just a little down the street. The ice cream she had gone to buy was in the store bag, hanging limply from her hand. The other hand covered her mouth as she saw the killing curse, which shed just enough light to illuminate her father's body. Her little brother was outside, in the lawn, a dementor closing in on him. The bag dropped from her hand and the ice cream rolled under the bush as her eyes shed tears. Three figures came to the front of her lawn as the dementor flew off with her brother's soul. One of the three cast the spell for the dark mark, which appeared above her house and encircled her roof. With a faint "pop" the three killers were gone, devastation left in their wake.

Tears streamed down her face as she quickly tried to cover them up. James sighed heavily. "It was my brother. Voldemort killed my brother when I was eleven, two weeks before I came to Hogwarts. He had told me to run and save myself, and by the time I got help, he was dead."

Lily stared at him, barely controlling her tears. "My father was killed in front of me," she said and turned to the thestral outside her coach. "Somehow they don't seem so beautiful anymore."

"Yes, they do lose their appeal when you learn why they're…special."

The coach stopped at the main entrance. Lily turned to look at James, who immediately averted his eyes, but was not fast enough. She saw the trace of tears down his face, even if they were few. He got up and she sprang up as well, pulling him into a tight hug. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."


	4. All Hell Broke Loose

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: This is actually an altered chapter from another story of mine that I liked so much I had to put it in. I know I said I'll lean away from author's notes, butI figured a couple here and there wouldn't hurt. And, while I will in no way obsess with getting lots of reviews, they are greatly appreciated, especially ones where you point out my mistakes so I can avoid making them again. Enjoy!

Chapter 4 – All Hell Broke Loose

Stunned, James began to blush, cursing his body for this reaction. However, Lily let go.

"Sorry. I–I didn't mean to," she started. James stepped closer and put his hand behind her head, leaned in and kissed her. For a moment, Lily closed her eyes and kissed him, savoring the moment and feeling her heart race as she experienced her first kiss with…with…Potter? Her eyes sprang open and she pushed James so hard he sat back down. "Potter! I can't believe what a disgusting pig you can be! I got a little carried away and you take advantage of the situation!"

"So you won't go out with me then?" James asked, putting his hands behind his head. Lily let out a cry of frustration and walked out of the carriage. James smiled to himself, closing his eyes and remembering the feel of Lily's lips on his. He got out of the coach and walked to the great hall. He entered to see Lily sitting with Alice and across from Cassidy. Katie was nowhere to be found, but three Marauders joined the three seventh-year Gryffindor girls. However, Lily looked distracted, her eyes darting around the room. James gave a brief sad smile at the fact that no matter how many people she crowds around, she was always alone. He would have to change that. He walked over and sat next to Remus and across from Sirius. Peter had disappeared again, as he had been doing for the past year or so.

"Say, where has Wormtail run off to?" Sirius said, looking around. James shrugged. The sorting ceremony started, with another song about the importance of unity from the Sorting Hat. James yawned as the first years each had a turn to sit on the stool and then gladly went to their houses as soon as the whole ordeal was over. As the feast was nearing to a close, Wormtail had shown up again and James was satisfied for the moment. He would need his appetite for later.

"Well, Potter?" Lily said impatiently from behind him. James turned and grinned.

"Ah, Evans. Can't wait to have me all to yourself again, can you?"

Lily sighed. "Look, Potter, I have the password and the map to find our housing, if you do not come with me now I will not feel bad in leaving you outside for the night, if not for the week."

"Fine, I'm coming," James said, getting up. As they walked out the great hall, he turned to Lily and grinned.

"Don't even start, Potter. Here, just read the rules and shut up, will you?" Lily said, handing him a piece of parchment with a description of their dorm.

"There are doors leading to all the Common Rooms?" James asked, after reading it for a while.

"Yes. There are also portraits that determine if we can pass through in any dorm whose house we do not belong to. If you noticed, there are no visitors allowed and the staircase leading up to my room behaves in the same way that the stairs leading to the girls' dormitories do. The password is "Hades" and this would be our dorm," Lily finished, coming upon a door engraved with flames. She said the password and the door opened to reveal a living room quite like the Gryffindor Common Room except with a wall devoted entirely to a library. Lily immediately migrated to the books, smiling at the thought of her own library. James looked around and smiled.

"Well, I think I'll be going to the Gryffindor Common Room," James announced and went towards the appropriate door.

"I think I'll come," Lily said, smiling as he paused in his way to the door.

"Wonderful," James said, fake optimism blatantly obvious. As they walked through the door, the Common Room exploded with cheers as James entered. Banners were hung from wall to wall and James's smiling face was visible next to the words "Congratulations Head Boy!" and there were plenty of sweets and butterbeer. James turned to look at Lily, only to see her eyeing the banners with disgust and-could it be?-jealousy? She turned her eyes on him, sighed, and went to the small corner desk, opening a Transfiguration book. James shrugged it off, determined to have a worry-free night. He sat down on the couch, next to Sirius. Remus was sitting with his back to the window and Peter had taken the seat closest to the fire. James smiled often and laughed at jokes, but he found himself glancing at the mess of curly red hair in the corner. After seeing this for the twentieth time, Sirius frowned.

"Stop looking at her, Prongs," Sirius said with a sigh. James gave him a puzzled look. "She's just going to ignore you like the last six years."

"She does talk to me."

"Yes, but only as a last resort. Does she even call you by your first name?"

James sat in his seat, at a loss for words. Sirius nodded in triumph.

"Face it, James. She's not worth it. She's just a cold-hearted bitch who will never give you the time of day."

James's fist connected cleanly with Sirius's face, sending his friend to the floor. As Sirius stood up, so did James. "Don't you ever say that! She's worth everything!"

"Is she worth your friends, James? Your personality?" Sirius yelled. "You've been changing ever since last Christmas! After that silly fight by the lake in fifth year, you just weren't the same. I want the old James back. The one who dyed Snape's hair purple! The one who doesn't ignore his friends for three days straight. No girl is worth a change like that! I want Prongs back, James. What happened to him?"

"He's gone, Sirius. He grew up," James said and sat back down. The few spectators quickly dispersed after one look from Sirius.

"I'm sorry to say I have no choice but to leave, gentlemen. You'll resolve this. You always do," Remus said and went up to the seventh-year dorms, with Peter following. Sirius sighed and went up as well. Soon a thud was heard and Lily got up. After determining she was the only one to hear it, she went up to the only dorm room occupied, the seventh-year boys' dorm.

"James has lost his wits," Sirius declared, slamming the door and sitting on his bed. Remus smiled as he took out his books and put them on his nightstand. Peter walked to the window and drew the curtains apart to let the moonlight flood the room.

"Full moon tonight," Peter said, staring at the bright satellite.

The door opened as Lily entered and closed it behind her. "Is everything alright up here?" she asked.

Peter turned around, petrified. Sirius's eyes widened in terror as he turned to Remus and then to Lily. "Get under a bed, Evans!" he screamed, panicking.

"What?" Lily said, confused and backing against the wall as she saw the look on Sirius's face.

"Get under a damn bed!" Sirius yelled again as he sprang from his seat. Remus turned to look at him, then turned his eyes to Peter.

"You fool!" Remus growled through his already lengthening teeth. The werewolf screamed.

The Gryffindors in the Common Room all looked towards the boy's dorms as the scream rang out over the noise. James sprang up and looked for Lily, and, not finding her, sent out sparks with his wand. The scream was abruptly cut short. The students turned their attention to the newly appointed Head Boy.

"Everyone to their room, and keep the doors shut!" he commanded. "I'm afraid that my friends have given the Head Girl a little scare and she, not approving of the whole party from the start, will not be in a good mood at all. Quickly now, we don't want to give her any reason to yell, she is rather good at that."

This seemed to work as everyone scrambled in the hope to avoid the wrath of Lily Evans, especially since she was Head Girl. As a Prefect, she had been harsh and gave out detentions at the drop of a hat. And by now they had all heard of her fight with the infamous Sirius Black. As the Common Room emptied, James was quickly climbing the steps two by two, his heart racing as he opened the seventh-year boys' dorm and quickly shut the door behind him.

He turned to locate Lily, against the wall and wand raised in a trembling hand, shaking with fear. A mouse scurried in front of him and his eyes came to rest on a silent fight between a changing werewolf and a black dog. His eyes widened as he realized that they had all been so stupid as to forget the full moon tonight, and he quickly transformed into a stag, ramming the werewolf against the wall. The curtains, shut by Peter in a hurry, shed no light into the room as the dog limped slightly to the struggling werewolf. Lily's trembling wand let out a burst of sunshine as she crossed her fingers, hoping it will work. The transformation into the werewolf had stopped, if only temporarily. The black dog became Sirius once again and he quickly grabbed his wand, petrifying the werewolf. He took the rigid creature, disfigured from the half-finished transformation, and quickly left the room, heading to the hospital wing before it wore off. Peter went with him, just to be sure one of them could call for help. The stag turned slowly as Lily sank to the floor and closed her eyes, trembling. James transformed back, sinking down on the floor next to her, panting.

"What just happened, James?" Lily asked, her heart threatening to jump out of her body. She turned to look at him.

James opened his eyes and looked at the scared face of the one girl he had tried to protect from this secret for the past four years, ever since she had seen him on the forest edge. "All hell broke loose," he said quietly, closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall, exhaling deeply.


	5. Second Chances

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Chapter 5 – Second Chances 

"Calm down, Evans," James said, seating himself on the sofa. Giving her time to think while they walked to their dorms was definitely a bad idea. "Look, you have to let me explain."

"No, Potter, I don't have to do anything. I could've become a werewolf. I could have died, Potter!"

"Look, I admit that we made a mistake-"

"A mistake, Potter? No, a mistake would be to misplace a book. A mistake would be to try to climb up my stairs. Forgetting there's a full moon when your best friend is a wild werewolf is NOT a mistake!" Lily yelled, getting up and walking towards him, shaking with rage.

"Look, do you think that Remus would have wanted you, or anyone else, to get hurt?"

"If he didn't want to hurt anyone he would have never come to this school knowing what he was!"

"Evans, do you really blame a six-year-old for playing in the woods and getting bitten by a werewolf? Do you blame a wizard for wanting to be part of his own culture by becoming a wizard?"

"And Dumbledore is fine with this? He knows?"

"The only reason Remus could go to school was because Dumbledore was Headmaster. That's why he's three years older than us."

"The teachers willingly let a werewolf into the building? And since when are you an animagus? You're not even registered!"

"Don't you think I know that?" James snapped. Lily got up and moved across the room to the door. She turned around.

"Well, I've had just about enough of this. No matter how nice and sane Remus seems, I cannot allow this monstrosity to continue! I'd have expected better judgment from Remus, but I guess you and your idiotic friends have screwed up his brain. No wonder he didn't stop you all those times in fifth year."

"Idiotic friends? Evans, you're mental!"

"I'm mental? I'm not the one who takes evening strolls with a werewolf every month putting others at risk! Did you even consider the consequences of your bloody impulses?" Lily yelled and opened the door. "Now I'm going to have a word with the Headmaster!"

"Evans! No!" James yelled, springing from his seat and running after her. He caught up as she rounded the corner. "Evans, what do you think you're doing?" he hissed quietly, looking around for other students.

"What do you think I'm doing Potter?" Lily asked, not bothering to keep her voice down. "I'm going to expose this lie you and your friends have been living since you started school. Potter, I am doing the right thing!" Lily said, boring her eyes into his.

"Are you trying to convince me or you?" James said quietly. Lily scowled.

"The right thing to do was not to become illegal-" Lily started but could not finish because James put his hand over her mouth and pushed her into a dark abandoned classroom. He locked the door behind him and enchanted it. Lily pulled his hand off her mouth. "What's the big idea of this, Potter? Let me out!"

"I can't. Not until I'm absolutely sure you won't do what you had been planning to!"

"It's my duty as Head Girl to report if potential life-threatening dangers exist!"

"Evans…Lily…this is the one chance Remus has of a normal life. It's the only normal thing in his life. And…if you report us, we go straight to Azkaban. Next to the dementors and Death Eaters in there. I…I can't go there, Lily! I can't go to Azkaban now!" James said, his eyes wide and fearful. Lily's voice died in her throat. "Look…we, the Marauders, we made an oath. It was to stick by each other at all times…to lay our necks on the line for each other. I can't break that oath and allow you to send me and my friends to a prison when we're so close to graduating that we could almost smell the Auror uniforms waiting for us. We…we all have to graduate. We have to go fight Voldemort. Don't take that away from us, Lily. It's the only thing we have left to hope for."

Lily looked at him, seeing the great James Potter close to shedding tears for the second time in one day. She knew it was agonizing for him to stand there, in the dark classroom, and throw away his pride to beg her not to tell. "Look…I don't agree with what you were doing or what you did. But, against all better judgment, I am giving you a second chance. But if I see or hear one howl or stag or black dog anywhere on the grounds during a full moon, I'm going straight to Dumbledore and I will not be persuaded otherwise!"

James pulled her into a hug. "Thanks," he said, letting go. "This…it means a lot to me. And to the others."

Lily nodded, still shocked at this turn of events. He opened the door, and she walked out, heading back to the dorm. James followed her in silence until they reached their living room. Lily stopped halfway to her room, on the stairs. James looked at her, puzzled. "It's…it's great that you have such friends. It's great that they have someone like you," she said without turning around. James smiled sadly, recognizing a confession of loneliness. "I…I wish I had…I had…" she stopped and quickly bounded up the stairs, closing the door behind her. She leaned against the door, her eyes closed and quiet tears falling down her cheeks. She heard the door to James's room close. "I wish I had someone like you," she whispered. Her hand came up and wiped her cheeks as she got into her bed, falling asleep from fatigue immediately.

Sins of Angels: Sorry this is rather short but it seemed the right time to end it. Promise the next one will be longer! Anyway, feel free to review and point out mistakes or, a rare case, give compliments. Either way, I hope you enoyed my story so far!


	6. Temptation

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Chapter 6 – Temptation

Lily got up and went to the Great Hall before James had even stopped snoring. She sat down on her table, joined by one other person, a sixth year girl named Amber. Everyone in the school knew she was a metamorphmagus, so currently she had blonde curly hair and sparkling blue eyes. Lily frowned at her company. The one thing Amber was famous for were her attempts at hooking up with James Potter. She smiled and made her way over to Lily, sitting with her back to the table.

"Fancy seeing you here this early, Head Girl. It must be great to live in the same dorm as James Potter."

"Not quite. He's an insufferable git."

"Maybe, but he's one sexy insufferable git. If I could only have one night…"

"Amber, has anyone told you you're severely disturbed?"

"So, is he still obsessed with you?" Amber asked, ignoring the last comment.

Lily sighed. "It would seem so. How are your classes?"

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that, Lily. I was wondering, I really didn't get the summer Transfiguration homework, and I'm willing to bet I need to know it by next week. I was wondering if you could help me, but can we please do it tonight? I have to do something for the rest of the week."

"Tonight's fine. How about the Heads' Dorms? They have a really great library in there and enough table room to work on. Only I'll have to leave for Slughorn at seven, so you're welcome to stay until ten, because after that's curfew for sixth-years."

"Will James be there…so I can ask questions?"

"I have no idea what Potter will be doing at that time, nor do I care. I'm not sure how much help he'll be."

"Thanks Lily," Amber said and walked back to her side of the table, muttering, "She's so gullible it's hilarious."

The Great Hall filled with students and Lily sat at the end of the table, in her usual spot, reading her book. She had already looked over her schedule and memorized it. At the moment, she was reading up on her first class, Transfiguration. James walked up and sat next to her.

"I hope you don't get in the habit of sneaking out when I can't catch you, Evans," he joked. Lily closed her book and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well, I see you're back to your regular self, Potter. And I've invited Amber over for tutoring. I hope you don't mind, she'll leave by ten."

"No, I guess not. I was planning on spending the night in my room anyway."

"Works out well then."

"What happened to no visitors allowed?" James said, smiling as he cornered her. She held the parchment up to his nose.

"No visitors allowed (except for tutoring or emergencies, dorms must be visitor free by ten o'clock)." He read. He frowned slightly. "I hate loopholes."

Lily packed her things and got up, heading to Transfiguration early. James shrugged it off. What did he care if a girl was in the dorm for lessons? He went back to the Marauders and finished eating his breakfast, soon heading off for Transfiguration as well, along with Sirius and Remus. Peter had disappeared again, but he had the same class so they figured he'd turn up.

As the day droned on, teachers lectured, Sirius fell asleep, James managed to bewitch his paper into a swan and Lily did all her homework during her free period. By around five, Lily was in the Great Hall and James was in the Heads' Dorm, actually doing his homework on the table.

"Lily?" Amber said, tapping Lily lightly on the shoulder. "Are you still up to it? It's okay if you've had a long day, you know."

"No, Amber, I'm still up for it. Actually I got all my homework I needed to do done after lunch, so I'm totally free until seven. Then you can stay in the dorm to use the books and all, but I'll be back at nine thirty and you must leave by ten."

"Okay, that's fine. Thanks, Lily. You're a lifesaver."

"You're welcome," Lily said and smiled. "The easiest way to meet would be to go through the Gryffindor Common Room entrance. Why don't you go there and wait until I open it?"

"Right. Will do."

Lily headed to the Head's dorm as Amber headed for the Gryffindor Common Room. In fifteen minutes, Amber was crawling through the door, with her Transfiguration book. James was sprawled on a chair, biting the end of his quill and writing what seems to be an essay.

"Hello, James," Amber greeted him with a wide smile. He looked up.

"Oh," he said distractedly. "Hi Amber. Here for tutoring, I hear."

"Yes, Lily was nice enough to help me out," Amber said as she put her bag down and sat herself on a chair next to Lily, laying her books on the table.

"Yes, well, our Head Girl is generally nice to most people," James said, looking at Lily, who glared back.

"Especially people who don't hex others for no reasons at all, Potter."

James sighed. He got up and stuffed his paper in his bag. "Well, I think I'll pop in for a shower. If you would excuse me," he said, heading up the stairs to his room and coming down a minute later, a towel in hand. He went into the bathroom and locked the door.

"Well, Amber, what exactly is the problem?" Lily asked, turning to face her. Amber smiled and started flipping through the pages, asking questions.

"Well, I have to get going, Amber," Lily said, after about an hour and a half. She glanced at the bathroom. "I'm not sure how much help he'll be if he stays in there much longer. Her must be looking at himself in the mirror. I swear, he's the biggest narcissist I've ever seen."

Amber laughed. "Well, I'll just finish this page and be on my way. Thanks again, Lily. You're great."

"Anytime," Lily said and went to her room, grabbing her things. She descended the stairs just as James walked out of the bathroom door. He wiped his glasses and put them back on, looking up at Lily. For a moment she stopped walking down the stairs to look at him, his fit body, half showing by the towel at his waist. For a moment, she was entranced. Their eyes met, both giving away the secret of their deepest desire. Lily quickly broke the spell and continued to descend. She turned around before exiting. "Potter, I trust you can help Amber if need be with her Transfiguration homework. I'll be back at nine thirty."

"Yeah, sure, I'll help," he said, one foot on his staircase.

With one last look, Lily left. She closed the door behind her and leaned her head against it, whispering, "That was Potter in there, you idiot. Potter, of all people! And you nearly let yourself go…" She took a deep breath and started down the hall, heading for the Slug Club.

James turned around to face Amber. "Do you need any help right now, because I was thinking of going to change."

Amber got up from her chair and went up to James. "Change? What's the point if you'll just wind up taking it off again?"

James gave her a questioning look. "What?"

"I've realized I've been approaching this all wrong. For the past four years, I've been trying to get you to like Amber. When what I really should have been doing was getting you to like," Amber stopped and changed her appearance. Curly red hair came just below her shoulders, her face reconfigured itself and her eyes became startling green. "Lily," she finished, looking up at James from the face of Lily Evans.

"Amber, you're mental," James said and took another step up.

"I know you want this, James. I know you've wanted to get Lily Evans to yourself for a long time. Well, here she is. And she will not refuse, I promise you."

James paused, turned around and went back down the steps to be level with Amber. "Look, stop it, okay? I'm not interested."

Amber looked down. "James, your towel says you are."

James turned a mild shade of pink and started up the stairs again. "I don't care about your agreement, Amber. Get out of this dorm now, before I report to McGonnagall!"

"James, you're passing up your only chance. Do you really think that wrench will ever start liking you?"

"Get out!" James yelled from the top stair, losing his temper. "Get out right now!" he yelled again, grabbing his wand from his room and going down the steps. Amber stumbled backwards. "Get out and don't come back," James said quietly. "And take off Lily's face, it doesn't suit you."

Amber grabbed her books hurriedly and, changing back to her blonde self, left through the Gryffindor Common Room door. James set his wand on the table and went back in the shower, turning the water on cold.


	7. Lily's Change

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

**Chapter 7 – Lily's Change**

"Amber?" Lily said, walking in. She looked around and realized that Amber had left. James came down his stairs, his hair still remotely wet and, for once, not sticking in all directions.

"I asked her to leave," he said, sitting on the sofa.

"Why? Was she a problem?"

"Does the fact that she tried to get me to have sex with her count as a problem?" James asked, looking at Lily with a mildly annoyed expression on his face.

"She did? Are you sure?"

"Yes. She didn't last five minutes after you left."

"And you asked her to leave? That's it?"

James gave her an inquisitive look. "Why are you so concerned if we did anything, Evans?"

Lily caught herself and started again in her cold, sharp tones. "Because, Potter, I want to know if it's safe to use the couches in this room."

James smiled. "You're lying, Evans. Here, I'll put your mind at rest. Nothing happened."

"I am not lying, Potter! Maybe you're lying because you're sore she turned you down."

James sprang forward in his seat. "You can't mean that, Evans!"

A knock was heard on the door leading to the Gryffindor Common Room. James leaned back in his seat again as Lily got up to answer it. Amber stood there, trembling, clutching to a book.

"Here, Lily," she said, holding the book out. "This is yours. I accidentally took it in my hurry to get out."

Lily glanced back at James, who was looking at her expectantly. "Why were you in a hurry?" she asked, looking at Amber again.

"I…I didn't want to stay here anymore. Not if it meant James would hit on me again…sorry, Lily. Thanks for all your help. I only waited this long to give it back so you can be in the room."

"Thanks, Amber. I'm sorry James scared you," Lily said, taking the book and frowning as she looked at James. She then turned to Amber and smiled. "Have a nice night, okay?"

"Right. Bye, Lily."

"Bye," Lily said and shut the door. _You stupid idiot_, she thought. _How could you even expect that Potter could stay in the same room with someone like Amber and not make a pass on her? How could you have hoped-_

"Everything alright, Evans?" James asked, interrupting her thoughts. Instead of answering, she replaced the Transfiguration book in the library and sat down, leaning back casually.

"That was Amber at the door," Lily said nonchalantly. "She said she accidentally took one of our books because she was in a hurry to get out. Seems you were making her uncomfortable."

"I was making her uncomfortable? Evans, I was in a towel and she came onto me!"

"Oh, right, because no girl can resist the Potter charm," Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"Only you, Evans. Only you," James replied, staring straight at her.

"Well, look, in all evidence I have to say her story seems a bit more reasonable."

"Are you saying I'll sleep with any girl I can, Evans?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if you did," Lily said coldly.

"Well, I think it's really hard to have sex and be a virgin at the same time," James confessed, more to prove his point than anything. He realized too late that he had just told Lily Evans the one thing no one else knew about him.

"You…"

"Yes, I am. Amber came onto me. She changed her appearance into something she thought I would like."

_He's a virgin_, Lily thought. _Oh, damn, why the bloody hell am I happy about that?_ "Really?" she said out loud. "And what might that be?"

"Red hair and green eyes. It was when she started talking about things she shouldn't have that I sent her away."

Lily conscientiously put a hand to her hair and felt a soft curl. _He doesn't like red hair, she thought. He doesn't like green eyes either. And I'm sad about that? What the hell is wrong with me? _"Well, I guess I'll give you the benefit of the doubt," Lily said, as an attempt to end all conversations for the evening. James nodded.

"Thank you. And please don't invite her here again if I'm in the same tower as her."

"Right. Well, I'm going to take a shower," Lily announced, more to tell herself what she was doing next than to let James know.

"You do that, Evans," James said casually. "I'll be working on my essay here," he added, leaning over a paper on the table and referencing a book. Lily shrugged it off and went upstairs, getting her towel. She walked in and locked the door, loudly enchanting it. "A bit paranoid, aren't we, Evans?" James called from the couch. When no reply came, he could practically see her frown at him. His head was buzzing with thoughts. _She was worried_, he thought happily. _She was actually worried about what I did. I could practically see her smile when I said I was a virgin. And…before, when she was ready to leave…the look she had in her eyes…it was…it was…_

"Potter, have you even touched your essay since I went in?" Lily asked. He lifted his eyes to see her hair messy and curls all over the place, the towel wrapped tightly around her, and a faint smile on her lips. The smile vanished. "What? Look, I know my hair is a bit on the unruly side at the moment, but I just thought I should let you know before I went to bed that I-"

"Love me?" James said, realizing the look in her eyes earlier that night.

"What?" Lily asked, taken aback. "What? No, Potter, I do not even remotely like you. It's ten thirty, that's what I meant to say. That essay isn't due until next Tuesday, you should get some sleep."

James took the paper and stuffed it in a bag next to his book and stood up, swinging the bag on his shoulder. He smiled as he walked over by Lily, who eyed him with caution. "Well, goodnight Lily-flower," James said and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and then ran for it.

_What did he just do?_ Lily thought. Then she remembered herself and spun around on her heel, yelling up at him just as he reached the top step, "James Potter! You better bloody hope you're the first one up, because if I have my way you'll be walking the halls purple tomorrow!"

"But Evans, purple really brings out my eyes," James said and grinned as he shut the door. Lily stomped over to her room and shut the door, enchanting it. Only then did she raise a cautious hand to her cheek, touching the spot where he kissed it. She went to bed, another faint smile on her face.


	8. The Note

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Chapter 8 – The Note 

Lily got up and found to her disappointment James had taken her advice and left early. She gathered her things, replaying the event of last night in her head, trying to make sense of them. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't understand what she felt when she looked at him last night after his shower. It was an unfamiliar feeling, and the scary part was how much she wanted to feel that way again. She shook her head as if chasing away a fly, trying to rattle her brain and hopefully scramble her thoughts beyond repair. However, all that happened was that she got a little dizzy and she had to sit down. After a moment on the chair, she got back up and headed towards the Great Hall.

"Oi! Evans!" Lily heard James cry as she walked in. He stood up and waved his hand high in the air, grinning. She shook her head in disapproval and quickened her pace in order to get to him before he had time to say anything. "Evans, I was just telling the guys here how you planned to-" James started but she was right in front of him, scowling before he finished.

"Shut up, Potter. Don't give me reason to hex you," she warned quietly. James looked around him.

"Oh, sure, like the Head Girl will start dueling me in front of all the professors."

"There are certain lines I wouldn't mind crossing if tempted, Potter," Lily said coldly.

"Tell you what, Lily-flower," James whispered in her ear. "How about we both just sit down and we'll settle our little squabble later."

"James," Lily said sweetly in his ear. "If you call me Lily-flower again, I will personally make sure you suffer through this year, in more ways than one. It's Evans to you, Potter."

James gave her a look of disbelief that was quickly wiped off his face when he saw her angry eyes. "Okay, Evans, I'll hold off on that in public if it bothers you so."

Lily sat down without a word. James sat between her and Sirius and grinned to his friend. Lily went to get bread and noticed Remus across the table. She stumbled off her seat, falling on the floor in a tangle of robes. Several onlookers laughed at her as she tried valiantly to get back up. James extended his hand to her, which only got him a dirty look from her as she managed to get up.

"Lily," Remus started as she got up. She cautiously sat back down and faced him, ignoring the roaring laughter coming from Sirius and Peter. "Look, I'm really sorry you had to…to see me like that. And I promise you it'll never happen again."

Lily looked sideways at James. "So I've been told," she said quietly. "Um, well, I must be going. I'll be seeing you, Potter, Black," she said nodding to the two boys. The turned and nodded to Remus, saying, "Lupin." She got up and went to the Transfiguration room, grabbing a muffin on the way.

"What did she just call me?" Remus asked as she left the Great Hall. James turned to look at him, puzzled by his meaning.

"What do you mean?" James asked. Sirius paused in his eating to answer.

"She called you Lupin, mate," Sirius said. "Why?"

"She must be really mad about it," Remus said, running both hands through his hair.

"Well, it only happened two days ago. You expect too much of her, Moony," James said. "She can't just ignore the whole thing."

"You're sure she'll keep it safe?"

"Yes. It took me a while to convince her, but yes."

"Okay, Prongs. Thanks. I can't believe I forgot about it."

"We forgot about it. And it worked out okay. Sirius modified Madame Promfey's memories and you were in the Shrieking Shack, which I assume you're going to tonight?"

"Yeah. And not leaving. I don't want to take any more chances, guys. That's two people who shouldn't know about me that do."

Sirius looked at his toast guiltily. "Look, I'm sorry about that…it's just sometimes I wish he would just go away for good," he said.

"I know Sirius, but please don't do that ever again. I don't want to be like the werewolf that bit me. I don't want to curse anyone with this," Remus said quietly, making sure no one else heard him.

"Look, she'll get over it. It just takes time, that's all," James said, standing up. "Now let's go. You've already missed the first day of classes, Remus."

"Right," Remus said, getting up too. "Let's go."

"Psst! Evans!" James whispered. Lily turned around to see him throw a note in her direction and make frantic motions to her to read it. She frowned and quietly unfurled it, taking care not to attract attention.

"Will you go out with me?" Lily read under her breath. She stared at the note, trying to pinpoint the feeling she was having. Once again, her brain took on a weird reel. Before the start of term, in the carriage, she would have replied a firm "No!" and yelled a lot to boot. Now she wasn't so sure. "What happened to me that day?" she muttered to herself, trying to figure out the way her mind was working.

"Miss Evans!" McGonnagall snapped. Lily's head sprang up to attention and she clutched the note. "Might you enlighten me as to why the Head Girl seems to be daydreaming? You are not paying attention, Miss Evans, and I would have expected more out of you."

"I'm sorry Professor," Lily muttered, clutching the note tighter and making a loud sound. McGonnagall raised an eyebrow at her and started walking to Lily's desk.

"Do you have anything in your hands, Miss Evans?"

Lily's fingers made a hole in the paper as she clutched the note tighter. James sprang up. "It's my fault, Professor," he said. Lily turned to look at him, astonished. However, McGonnagall didn't seem the least surprised.

"Let me guess, Mr. Potter, you wanted to ask young Miss Evans here yet again if she would go out with you?" the teacher said wearily. "Do that in your own time, Mr. Potter. And Miss Evans?" she added, turning to Lily. "Next time, please answer him before I catch you."

Some of their classmates laughed, but Lily was still looking at James, surprised that he would take the blame so readily instead of watching her be embarrassed. He sat down and winked at her. She shook her head and turned back around to face the board and take down her notes. Her left hand, however, stayed under her desk, clutching the piece of parchment tightly.

"Potter!" Lily called as James headed to their dorm after lunch for his free period. He smiled at himself before turning to face her and waiting. "Um, thanks about this morning and all, taking the blame," Lily mumbled, catching up to him and walking with him to their dorm.

"No problem, Evans. After all, I did send you the note. And you never gave me a proper reply."

"What?" Lily asked, closing the door behind her and leaning her back against it.

"Will you go out with me?" James asked, leaning one hand next to her head on the wall and facing her. Lily gulped.

"No, Potter, I will not," she said, a bit less firmly than she meant to. James grinned at her.

"Not at all? Are you sure?" he asked again, leaning ever so closer to her. Lily ducked out of the trap and came next to him.

"Potter, don't you dare try that ever again!" she yelled, composing herself quickly. "I will never go out with someone as self-centered as you!"

"You still see me as self-centered, Lily?" James asked quietly, walking past her. Lily turned to look at him, but he didn't turn around.

"I…"

"It's okay, I can see how you hate me so much now," James said again, in the same tone. He opened his room door just as Lily found her voice.

"I don't…"

James paused at the door, turning around to look at her. Lily's eyes widened as they met his. "You don't…?" he prompted. Lily once again regained her composure.

"I don't see how you can be mad at me about that!" she said and went to her room. James dropped his books off in his room and stood at the bottom of her stairs.

"Why did it take you so long to answer my note today?" he yelled up. Lily opened her door.

"What?" she asked, looking down at him.

"Why did it take you so long to answer my note?" James repeated. "You were looking at it for a long while before McGonnagall called."

"I was…trying to figure out the way your mind works, Potter."

"Did you, Evans? Did you finally figure out that I want to go out with you?"

Lily sighed. "Go out with me, Potter? Until when? Until I become just another one of your past girlfriends? Just another throwaway, cast-aside, not important girl who fell into your trap? Well, unlike half the girls in this school, I won't give you the satisfaction!"

"The only reason I dated half the girls in this school was to try to take my mind off of you!" James cried out in frustration. "And guess what, Lily! It didn't work! Nothing ever bloody worked!"

Lily looked at him, well aware tears were welling up behind her eyes. "Potter, why is it your goal in life to torture me?" she cried out and went in her room, slamming the door.

"Me torture you, Evans?" James cried out disbelievingly on the way to his own room. "That's rich! I'm the one who's in love here!" he finished, slamming the door as well.

Lily sank down on her bed and put her head in her hands, trying to stop the tears. "He doesn't mean it, Lily," she reassured herself. "He never meant it. It's all just another prank to him…it's all just another prank…"


	9. The Kiss

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: Okay, so, I think it's time for another random author's note. Um, thanks to all the review I've gotten, very much appreciated. I am updating so fast for the sole reason that at the moment I have good ideas and a will to write, but I have been know to get massive writer's block, so enjoy it while I can provide it. Other than that, hope you'll continue reading!

Chapter 9 – The Kiss

Lily listened in at the door for the sound of James coming down the steps and leaving. Soon, someone descending the steps was heard and a door opened and closed. Assuming this was the door leading to the hall, Lily sighed in relief and got out of her room. She went downstairs and left her bag on the table, heading towards the bathroom door. As her hand came near the doorknob, the door opened and James walked into her.

"Sorry Evans," James said, staring at her. He had fallen on top of her and was now face to face with her. "I…I didn't mean to do that," James lied, knowing perfectly well he had his ear at the door just so he could open it at the right moment. It worked. Lily was staring at him, not with anger, but with wonder…at the moment. "I…I…" James began, but stopped as he pressed his lips against Lily's and found that she was not resisting at all, but actually kissing him back. He felt elated to cloud nine as he felt her lips in touch with his, her body under his and his hands running down her side.

Lily received a burst of that feeling she had felt as she saw him in a towel, higher than happiness but so indescribable she didn't know where to start. All she knew was that from the moment their lips met, fireworks exploded in her mind and she could think of nothing better to do than to keep kissing. That's why when James stopped, she whispered "No…keep going." James smiled at her.

"You're beautiful," he said quietly. Lily smiled and blushed.

"You're…" she started. Her eyes widened as she realized what just happened. "You're Potter!" she said and pushed him off of her. He rolled over on his back.

"Who did you expect? Santa Claus?" James said, wincing at the feeling of rolling over on a hard floor. "Evans, will you go out with me?" James asked with a smile, getting up.

"No!" Lily shrieked, still a bit disoriented. "Potter, I will never, ever go out with you! Just stop wasting your breath and asking me!"

James got up and took her hand. "Lily, as long as there is air in my lungs, I will ask you out."

Lily wrenched her hand free. "I told you to call me Evans!" she said menacingly. She went in the bathroom, and just before she closed the door yelled, "And don't you dare think of pulling another stunt like that again!"

James grinned at her as she slammed the door in his face. "See you tonight, dear!" he called before leaving.

"Shut your bloody mouth, Potter!" Lily screamed from the bathroom as the door closed.

James hummed as he walked down the halls to his class. Smiling at the thought that Lily would be there. He smiled even more widely as he thought of their second kiss. Amber fell into step along side him.

"Why the happy face, James?" she asked, smiling innocently and acting like last night never happened.

"Oh. Well, I'm just happy, okay Amber? And I seem to remember I told you to stay away from me."

"James, we both know you didn't mean that."

"Well, I know I meant it. What your problem seems to be is that you think I am in some way attracted to you."

"James, you are. I know you are. You see, I can give you what you want. I can make your perfect woman. I can give life to your wildest fantasies."

"My perfect woman already exists, Amber. And she's not you."

"Oh, yes, I forgot," Amber said bitterly. "It's perfect Head Girl, Miss Lily Evans."

James kept walking, determined to lose her somehow.

"But, don't you see, James? I can be Lily Evans. I can become a Lily that loves you to no end. I can be anyone you want me to be."

James stopped and turned to her. "No, you can't. Because no matter how many faces you put on, you will never be the one girl in this world worth going after. Now leave me alone, Amber."

James began walking again but Amber kept following him. "You're so sweet, James. Why not be with someone who will fully appreciate that sweetness and reward you for it?"

James scoffed. "With what? Meaningless sex?"

"Oh, it won't be meaningless James. It'll be with you," Amber said sweetly, edging ever so closer to him. James grunted at her.

"Look, leave me alone, will you? I don't want to go out with you. I don't even want to talk to you. You're nothing to me, Amber. You don't even deserve the breath I'm wasting on you."

"I may not," Amber said, screwing up her face once again to resemble Lily's. "But I'm sure little Lily does."

"Stop it," James warned, not looking at her.

"I'm sure you wouldn't mind talking to Lily, would you James? You wouldn't mind talking with her through the wee hours of the morning. You wouldn't mind kissing her lips, would you? You wouldn't mind feeling her body on yours, would you?"

"Shut up, Amber."

"If I were Lily, you wouldn't think twice if I offered myself to you."

"Yeah, well, you're not. Now cut it off."

"No, but I do look like her. I do have the body of the girl you want, James. I have the lips you long for."

"Amber, shut up! Get the hell away from me!" James said as the turned into another hallway. Amber quickly changed her face back to herself and smiled as students passed them by.

"Just think, on command, I can be anyone you want," Amber purred in James's ear. James took out his wand and pointed it at her face. She stopped sharply to avoid poking her eye out.

"Look, you bloody whore! You stay the hell away from me! You will avoid me on the way to your bloody classes! You will never speak to me again! And if you change your face one more time while I walk the halls of this school, I'll hex you so bad no blasted healer will ever be able to fix you again!"

Amber burst into tears and ran off. James slowly lowered his wand and looked at the bystanders.

"Well? What the bloody hell are all you staring at? Don't you have a blasted class to get to?"

Everyone quickly hurried off in the closest direction possible as James fumed down the hall to his Potions class. As he passed, people steered away from him. He smiled bitterly thinking how he just exploded in public all because of _little Lily Evans_.


	10. The Apology

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Chapter 10 – The Apology 

"James, is what I'm hearing true?" Sirius asked as James took his seat next to him in Potions. Remus also sat down next to Sirius.

"I'd have to say, it sounds like you had a pretty busy lunch, Prongs," Remus said quietly. James glared at both of them.

"Look, Amber got on my nerves, okay?"

"Got on your nerves?" Sirius said incredulously. "Mate, you made her cry. From what I hear, it doesn't seem that it will stop anytime soon."

"Listen, she's lucky I didn't curse her to hell right then and there! She deserved it!"

"Why, did she say something about Evans?" Sirius said and laughed. When no reply came, his laughter quickly died out. "That's all she did? Say something about Evans?"

"Look, don't push it, Padfoot."

"Prongs, mate, you're mental. You freaked out over some crap said about Evans!"

"Padfoot, don't push it."

"James, you've just made one of the hottest girls in this school break down in tears! All over Evans, of all people? You're mental!"

"Look, I said drop it, okay? I'm not discussing this with you, especially not now!"

"James, you're losing the Potter charm," was the last thing Sirius said before Slughorn showed up and they began to brew their potions. James glanced over to Lily's empty seat as she burst into class five minutes late, spilling apologies one after the other. She took her seat and began brewing her potion.

Ten minutes after that, McGonnagall walked in, looked around at the students, and went up to Slughorn's desk. After about three minutes of discussion, she left once again, glancing at James on her way out.

"Prongs, I think you may be in trouble," Remus stated from his cauldron. James frowned.

"There's nothing for her to be mad about. I didn't do anything."

"Right, mate," Sirius said sarcastically. "You're only Head Boy and all you did was harass another student to the point of tears."

"Me harass her? She's the one that insisted on changing her face until she found one I liked so she could sleep with me!"

"Well? Why didn't you sleep with her?"

James turned to his friend, his mouth opening and closing but no sound coming out. "Why would I?" he finally asked, finding his voice.

"Why? Because she can be anything you want her to be, James, that's why!"

"Look, Padfoot, you may be looking for sex, but I actually want a relationship," James muttered irritably.

"James, you're mental! The only reason I haven't hit you for that comment is because you can plead insanity and I'll go to Azkaban! Last I remember, you were the one making all those jokes about your ideal woman and how you wished someone like her existed."

James looked over to Lily as she was cleaning up. He poured his potion in his vial. "She does exist."

"What, Evans? James, mate, you're really-"

"Mr. Potter and Miss Evans, seeing as both of you are done brewing your potions, Professor McGonnagall would like to see you two. Just give me your vials and I'll clean up for you," Slughorn called out. James hurriedly got up to avoid giving Sirius the chance to finish his sentence. After they handed in their vials, they set off to the transfiguration teacher's office, walking in silence. They entered, and McGonnagall bid them to sit down, which they did.

"Mr. Potter, I am shocked to learn of your incident with Miss Conley this afternoon," the teacher started.

"Amber?" Lily asked. "What happened?"

"It seems our Head Boy had reduced her to tears and publicly threatened her," McGonnagall said, looking at James.

"Well, I didn't hex her, now did I?" James asked sulkily.

"And may Merlin help you if you did! You're the Head Boy now, Mr. Potter. You can't go around threatening people!"

"Well, look, she was getting insufferable and being very disrespectful to…others."

"Then, instead of telling her you'll disfigure her permanently, you should have taken some points away!"

"I lost my temper, okay? I'll try not to let it happen again. I'm sorry."

"I think you owe Miss Conley the apology."

James looked at both McGonnagall and Lily in disbelief. "Owe her an apology? She should be thanking me I didn't turn her skin green!"

"Mr. Potter! You will apologize to Miss Conley and Miss Evans will watch you do it to bear witness. And you will do it during dinner tonight, so everyone can see our Head Boy is not a complete moron!"

James picked up his bag. "Can I go now?"

McGonnagall looked at him, livid. It took all her efforts to dismiss them before she herself exploded.

"What happened?" Lily asked. James shot her a sideways glance. "Between you and Amber, I mean."

"Nothing. She was just getting on my nerves, that's all. Look, Evans, don't worry about it. I'll apologize to her during dinner and everything will be good as new."

Lily eyed his suspiciously. "I somehow doubt that's the whole story."

"Evans, you're a regular Sherlock Holmes!" James said sarcastically.

"And how do you know who Sherlock Holmes is, Potter?" Lily asked, curious.

"I did take muggle studies for a year, Evans. Something must have seeped through my brain."

"Well, Potter, I'm impressed that you would make an allusion like that. That's great!" Lily said, beaming at him as though he was a little boy who had just learned his first sentence. James shook his head.

"Evans, you are by far the most puzzling girl I've ever met."

Lily said nothing, but instead turned to corner to get to the Great Hall. "Now, remember, you have to apologize, not make matters worse."

"Yeah, I know," James said, walking to where Amber was sitting. "Conley," he said as she turned towards him. "I'm sorry about all the things I said. I didn't mean to make you cry," James said, trying to sound concerned. Amber smiled at him.

"I knew you couldn't have meant it James. You just got confused, that's all. We'll continue our little conversation another time, shall we?"

James swallowed his response and turned around, sitting next to Sirius. Lily went to the other side of the table and sat next to Remus.

"Hello, Remus," Lily said, smiling at him. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry about my behavior this morning. It's just, it's going to take me a while to get used to the idea."

"It's okay," Remus responded, smiling with relief. "I understand. It was not exactly how I planned you to find out."

"It was not exactly my favorite way to find things out either," Lily said and smiled. "Your secret's safe with me. It might take a while for things to go back to the way they were."

"I understand. Thanks, Lily."

Lily smiled and got up, taking her usual seat at the end of the table near no one and opening a couple of books.

"And that is why you exploded in public?" Sirius said, indicating Lily.

"Shut up," James said irritably and bit into his dinner roll.


	11. Lily's Plan

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: Hello. Thanks for all the reviews I'm getting, they're greatly appreciated. Anyway, this is shaping up to be a whole lot of messes in the course of three days…like that story Tuck Everlasting…but I'm just basically giving my opinion on the thing. Also, just as a warning, my parents are a tad bit overprotective, so they've blocked many things on like my replies to reviews don't exactly get sent all the time, not to mention I can't even read my reviews unless I go through my email to read them at the moment…basically it is one big mess. If I do not respond to you, I am really sorry, I'll get on it as soon as I can gain access to an internet without parental blocks. Other than that, enjoy!

Chapter 11 – Lily's Plan 

James walked through the door to find Lily on the couch, fast at work on her Potions essay. She looked up at him, curls falling in her face. Her smiled at her.

"Hello, Evans!" he greeted. "Seems to me you're doing lots of work. Don't go overexerting yourself now. Tomorrow's Saturday, you have the whole weekend!" he said happily, savoring the thought of his first Quiddich practice since the end of last year.

"Potter, what happened between you and Amber?" Lily asked, never taking her eyes off the paper she was writing. James shot her a questioning look but he saw that she wasn't looking at him.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because of the things I heard during dinner today," Lily said, again not looking at him. He leaned towards her in his chair.

"And what did you hear?"

"That you seemed about ready to perform an unforgivable on her. That you told her she couldn't change her appearance anymore until you left the school. And that she seemed extremely upset about it," Lily said, once again, to the parchment.

"Well, that sounds about right," James confirmed bitterly.

"What did she do that made you so angry?"

"She…she impersonated someone."

"Who?"

James ran a hand through his hair, battling with himself about whether or not to tell her. "Well, she reassembled herself as…as you."

Lily looked up at him. "As me?"

"Yes. In an attempt to…to lure me in, I guess."

Lily shook her head and went back to writing. "And what did she say?"

"She said that if she were you, she'd have no problem getting me to like her," James said quietly, going for honesty. Lily didn't look up but started writing more furiously. "She said that if I wanted, she could look like you and that's the way she would go out on dates with me and such. She said, if I wanted, she'd change to look like you just so we could have sex."

Lily's quill snapped and she ran a hand through her hair as she reached into her bag for another one. She found one and dipped it in the ink, and began writing quickly again. She didn't look up at James or acknowledge him in any way except that her quill had snapped as he finished his last sentence.

"She was right, Evans. She was right about all of it."

Lily looked up at him, a mix of emotions displayed on her face. James looked into her eyes and saw…relief? "Well, I suppose you were quite right to yell at her like that if she's impersonating other students," Lily said, breaking eye contact again and stuffing everything in her bag. She left the bag on the table and went up to her room.

"That's it?" James called up, flabbergasted. "That's all you have to say about the whole thing?"

Lily came out of her room with her towel and went past him to the bathroom door. "I am in no way interested in your crazy love life, Potter," she said, stating what she meant to be a fact.

"Well, hell, that sucks, because you are my love life!" James said to the closed bathroom door. He heard the water turn on and sighed. "I tell her the truth and all she does is yell at me," he mumbled under his breath. "She didn't even look at me. That whole time she glanced at me twice."

Lily got in the shower, allowing the hot water to envelop her. _He made me blush! _she thought furiously. _I was blushing that whole time! Why does this bloody body betray me every time I should be yelling at him to go away? I have to shut him down…I can't expose myself to him like I would if I give in. And I have to do it in a way he won't ever bother me about it again._

James smiled to himself as he started working on his potions essay as well. _I think she's finally realizing it, _he thought happily. _Not long now until she would say yes when I ask her. She needs more and more time to battle with herself every time I ask. She's going to say yes, I just know it!_

He smiled even more widely, and decided to pay the Gryffindor Common Room a visit. He walked through the door and went upstairs to his friends' dorm. He found Sirius and Peter playing a game of chess Sirius was obviously winning.

"Hey there, Prongs," Sirius greeted him. "Why the happy mood?"

"Just happy, Padfoot. Say, where's Moony?"

"The Shrieking Shack. He insisted Madame Promfey take him there until the full moon is completely gone from the sky. He said that he only came today to get his assignments."

"Oh," James said, looking around. "Say, Sirius, is that you winning in chess?"

Sirius beamed proudly. "Yes it is! I am just a couple moves away from-"

"Checkmate," Peter cut in, his voice tiny. Sirius turned to stare at the board.

"Ah, damn! I swear, I will win against someone someday!"

James laughed. "That's a great goal, Padfoot!"

"Isn't it?" Sirius said, smiling again. "Hey! I bet I can beat Dung!"

James rolled his eyes. "Sirius, you can't beat Dung. He'll steal and cheat his way to victory and you know it!"

"Okay, maybe I can't beat Dung. But, hey, it'll be fun to try, wouldn't it?"

James smiled. "Do what you will, Sirius. Do what you will."

Sirius smiled, mumbled a "Congrats!" to Peter and ran downstairs. James went after him, only at a slightly slower pace. In the Common Room, tapping her foot impatiently, was Lily Evans.

"Potter? I need to talk to you," she said as he descended the stairs with a smile.

"Sure, Evans. Dried your hair quick, haven't you?"

"Yes, I have. Now please come with me," she said, walking towards the door to their dorm. James opened the door for her and she mumbled a thank you as she went in.

"What's up?" James asked, sitting on the sofa. Lily took a seat next to him.

"You," she said and kissed him. James happily but cautiously put his hands around her waist.

"Whoa," he said as the kiss ended. "Evans, this is a whole new you."

"Call me Lily," Lily purred. James smiled.

"Well, Lily, what did you have in mind?"

"Well, this couch is awfully small. I think we should relocate," Lily said, smiling.

The door to the bathroom opened. "Potter you didn't happen to steal the cotton swabs from here did you?" Lily asked, drying her hair with a towel. "Only I can't find them."

James stared in horror as the Lily he was holding turned to Amber.

"Potter?" Lily said, wrapping her hair and opening her eyes. The sight she was met with was Amber on top of James on the couch, James looking horrified and Amber looking quite pleased with herself. Lily's eyes widened and she ran past them up to her room.

"Evans! Wait!"

"Oh, James, we don't have to stop now. We were just getting to the good part!" Amber said, pouting. James looked at her, ready to kill.

"Get off of me!" he yelled and pushed her on the floor. He sprang up and took out his wand. "Listen, Conley, I warned you before. You are to stay the hell away from me!"

"You don't mean that James. I saw the look of happiness on your face after I kissed you."

"You mean the one after I thought I was kissing Lily? Because that's the only thing I was thinking of!"

"James, it doesn't matter what you were thinking of, in the end you kissed me."

Lily opened the door to her room and descended the stairs. James turned around to look at her, and he sighed as she took his breath away. She had put on a pale pink dress, put her hair up in a bun with the exception of a few curls and was busy trying to put on her earrings.

"Where are you going, Lily?" Amber asked happily, sidling next to James.

"Funny you should ask, Amber. I'm going on a date," Lily announced and noted with satisfaction the look on James's face of shock. "What's the matter, Potter? I'm sorry about interrupting your little snogging session, but I'll be out of your way for the night."

James opened his mouth, trying to say something. Lily moved to her bag and took out a necklace from the smallest pocket. She went right past James as he caught a whiff of what he thought to be the most heavenly smell in the world. "Evans!" James called. She paused at the door and turned to him.

"Yes, Potter?"

_Don't go! _he thought frantically. _It was all just a misunderstanding! I can explain! _But, alas, jealousy took over before these thoughts reached his mouth. "Who's it with?"

"Who's what with?" Lily asked, trying to mask her panic. She hadn't thought of that.

"Who's your date with?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business, Potter!" Lily said and walked out, slamming the door behind her. Once in the hallway, she smiled at her quick thinking. She set off to the seventh floor, the one room she was sure Potter would never find her in.

"Well, that's a relief. Now we will be uninterrupted," Amber said and smiled at James. "Although I'm hard put to think of anyone who would ask her out."

James turned to her, shaking with rage. "Get out before I do something I'll regret!"

"But, James-"

"Get out!" James screamed and took her by the back of her robe, propelling her toward the Gryffindor Common Room door. He opened it and threw he in. "Get out and don't set foot in my dorm ever again!" he yelled as Amber tried to get off the floor. He turned to Sirius. "Where's the map?"

"What map, mate?"

"The Marauder's map! What map could I be talking about?" James yelled at his friend.

"Okay, Prongs, calm down. I'll go get it," Sirius said, getting up and bounding for it as fast as he could before his friend did something really stupid.

Sirius bounded up the steps as Amber was helped up by her friends. James gave her a look of pure hatred as she sobbed. "You don't like me, do you James?" she said quietly.

"No, Amber, I fucking love you! That's why you're banned from ever coming near me again!" James said sarcastically. Amber stumbled up the steps before she burst into tears again. Sirius bounded down the steps and handed the open map to James, who hurriedly scanned it for Lily. "She's not on here, Padfoot! How could she not be on the fucking map?" James cried out in anger and stormed back into his dorm, grabbing his wand.


	12. Evans Starts with E

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Chapter 12 – "Evans" Starts With "E" 

"Where could she be?" James asked as he prowled the hallways, looking at his map. "She can't just disappear! What were the rules we made up?" he asked himself out of frustration. He had started at the towers and was now on the seventh floor, walking briskly. He looked at the map again. He stopped and started pacing near one spot on the wall, muttering, "I need to find Lily Evans," over and over under his breath. After a while, a door appeared and he grabbed the handle, opening it. He walked in, still scanning the map as it zoomed to his dot in the Room of Requirement. Another dot appeared a couple of steps ahead, labeled "Lily Evans" and James's heart leapt. He looked up to see Lily in her dress staring at him with an annoyed expression.

"Evans!" James breathed, a smile on his face. Lily turned her attention back to the book she was reading. "I was looking all over for you!"

"Why, Potter? You seemed pretty busy when I last saw you."

"Let me explain! You didn't hear what I said to her-"

"I did, Potter. I heard everything you said to her after I went to my room."

"Then you must know what happened!"

"What happened is you kissed Amber, and now you've barged in on my date."

James looked around. "Well, where is he?"

"He went to get more food, for your information. Now I would appreciate it if you left before he came back. I really don't want him to think I may regard you as a friend."

"But, Evans…Lily…" James started, crushed. Lily stood up.

"Listen, Potter. Go back to the dorm and go make out with the next slut you come across, but stay the hell away from me."

James watched helplessly as she walked out the door and closed it behind her. After a moment's thought of what he should do, he sprang up and opened the door just in time to hear a scream. He looked around and, after determining it came from the left, ran off in that direction. Rounding the corner, he came face to face with a laughing Bellatrix.

"Hello, little Potter," she said. "How are you?"

"Cut the crap, Black," James said irritably. Bellatrix frowned at him.

"It's Lesterange now, Potter. And I asked you a question!"

"Lesterange? Your parents wedded you off already, huh?" James said, looking around for Lily. Rodolphus, Malfoy, and Regulus joined Bellatrix. The rest of the hallway was dark, the lamps having gone out. "Aren't you missing Snivellus?"

"Oh, he's here," Malfoy said, to Bellatrix's insane laughter.

"And you wouldn't know where the Head Girl is, will you?"

"Why, Jamesey," Bellatrix said, smiling widely. "She's on a date."

Regulus opened his lighter and the flames escaped back to the torches. Next to the wall, Lily was pinned to it by Snape, who was grinning madly. Her dress was torn and her necklace was dangling from his hand as if it were a token.

"Evans!" James yelled and bonded forward, only to be restrained by Rodolphus and Regulus. Lily turned to him, tears streaming down her face, pleading silently.

"I wonder, Jamesey," Bellatrix said, smiling evilly. "What will you do when your girl loses her virginity to Severus Snape?"

"You wouldn't!" James said quietly as Lily's eyes widened in fear.

"To tell you the truth, Jamesey," Bellatrix said sweetly, coming next to his ear. "The Dark Lord is a half-blood. Maybe Snape and Lily-kins will create a boy that can be trained to be almost as great as the Dark Lord himself?"

James thrashed to get out but Bellatrix only smiled sweetly as he was restrained. She turned to Lily and unleashed her from her silencing charm.

"James!" Lily called out through her sobs. "James, help me!"

"Aw, what's wrong, Lily-kins?" Bellatrix said, beaming. "Snape not good enough for you? That's okay. I can provide you with two other bachelors that will gladly, ahem, make sure you have a good time."

"James!" Lily sobbed again. James averted his eyes. "James, please!"

"It'll be okay, Lily. I'll make sure of it," James said quietly. Bellatrix laughed.

"Aw, look at the cute little love birds," she said, laughing again. "Jamesey, aren't you making promises you can't keep?"

"Why her?" James cried out, looking at Regulus. The boy was taken aback. "Why her?"

"Isn't it obvious, Jamesey?" Bellatrix responded. "It's all because of little Miss Lily's last name."

"What? Evans?"

"You see, it starts with an "E"."

James and Lily both looked at her, uncomprehending. She rolled her eyes and laughed wildly again.

"You see, on the alphabetized list of mudbloods of whom we will make the lives miserable of, she's a tad bit higher than most."

"You're sick!" Lily yelled.

"And you're about to screw Severus Snape. Clearly, you're the sicker one of the two of us."

"I will never touch this piece of filth!" Lily screamed, looking at Snape with complete loathing. Snape grinned.

"Evans, dear, you're going to love it!" Snape said and pointed his wand at her.

James watched as Lily was put under the imperious curse and, smiling sweetly at Snape, walked to him while tearing a bit more of her dress off.

"Lily!" James called. Lily turned to him, eyeing him dislike.

"Lily, dear," Snape said, smiling wildly. "What do you think of young Potter here?"

"I hate him, Severus," Lily answered, turning to Snape and smiling. Just like I hate every other man except you."

Snape stepped up and kissed her as James cried out in vain. As Snape's hands traveled down Lily's dress, ripping it in the hems and exposing her white bra and her matching panties, James struggled to get out of the grip.

"Lily!" he cried in vain, for the love of his life paid no attention to him. "Lily! Stop! You don't want to do this!"

"I daresay she does, Jamesey!" Bellatrix said in his ear. "In fact, she just wants his dick inside her."

"Shut up!" James cried out, facing Bellatrix. "Shut up, you bitch!"

"She's right Potter," Lily said as she stepped out of her dress. Snape's hands traced the lining of her bra as she smiled. "All I want right now is for Severus to take me," she said and smiled at Snape as he snapped her bra open.

"Lily…" James said, still struggling to get out of the grasp. "Lily! Resist the damn spell, Evans!"

"Now, do you think that someone as talented as Snape would cast a charm out little mudblood would so easily be able to cast aside?" Bellatrix said in James's ear as he watched in vain as Snape's kisses traveled down Lily's neck and…lower.


	13. Protection

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: I know I left you in a bit of a suspense there, and it may have been kind of harsh, but it all works out towards the end. I just hope you'll keep reading and enjoy! And thanks a million to all my reviewers, you guys are awesome! I get really happy when I get a positive one, and really happy at one that points out mistakes, so if you happen to have nothing better to do, feel free to review and tell me your opinions on the whole thing! Greatly appreciated! Anyway, I hope you like this one!

Chapter 13 – Protection 

"Wormtail!" James called as, at the end of the hallway, a small figure that was unmistakably Peter's came into view. "Wormtail!" he screamed yet again. Snape stopped to exchange looks with Bellatrix, who looked annoyed.

"Was that Pettigrew?" she asked her husband, who nodded. "Damn!" she said and looked around the corner. A moment later, a scream was heard.

"Put your damn clothes back on!" Snape growled at Lily, who obliged. He took the curse off of her and smiled as she lay disoriented. Snape took out his wand and stood right in front of James. "Potter, I've been waiting for this for a long time. And I don't think magic will satisfy it!"

Regulus and Rodolphus lifted James up. Snape's fist hit James in the stomach, leaving him to double over with pain as his restrainers released him.

"James!" Lily yelled and, holding her dress barely together, crawled over to him. "James?"

James grunted in pain as a black dog bounded over both of them, growling when Bellatrix came too close. The others were limping.

"What is this?" Bellatrix yelled, pointing angrily at the dog. Her companions stared at it as well, filled with dislike.

"Go away, Lesterange!" Lily yelled.

"Well, Lily-kins, I guess we'll finish this another time," Bellatrix said sweetly. She smiled at Lily and at a wincing James, and her smile vanished as she eyed the growling dog.

"Bye, Evans," Snape said, mouthing a kiss. James went to get up but groaned again and clutched his stomach. Bellatrix's laugher rang out down the hall as they left. Behind them, the dog became Sirius.

"James, mate, are you okay?" Sirius asked, bending over his friend's face.

"I'll be fine," James said and looked up at Lily. "Are you…are you okay?"

Lily looked at him, confused. "Why? Did something happen? My dress got ripped but that's just because I sidled against the wall. Can't expect very much from muggle clothing, can you?"

James looked at her, carefully deciding what he'll say next. "No, nothing happened. They just talked a lot, that's all."

"Good. Because the way that Snape was behaving, I thought…something did happen."

James shook his head. "No. Nothing happened."

"Uh, Prongs, can I talk to you for a moment?" Sirius asked, scratching behind his ear. James got up and carefully limped to his friend as Lily tried to piece her dress together.

"Look, mate, I may have arrived a bit late because I was looking all over the school and all, but what was happening did not, in any way, sound like nothing," Sirius said, keeping his voice low so Lily wouldn't hear.

"Look, if I told her what happened…she'll crumble. I know it. She's carrying way too much to pile this on top of her too. I can't…I can't give her memories of that. I just can't."

"So I guess I don't mention it?"

"Not under any circumstances, Sirius!"

"Right," Sirius said, and turning around and, running his hand through his hair, wheeled back around to James. "You sure?"

James nodded firmly.

"She'll probably want to know."

James shuddered. "She's better off this way."

"Potter?" Lily said, getting up. "Can we go to bed now? I'm really tired."

"Yeah, Evans, sure."

"And…Black?"

"What?" Sirius said, turning around.

"Thanks for coming."

"Welcome," he answered, smiling. Lily gave him a small smile as well and rounded the corner. "Go with her, James. I know you want to."

"Thanks, Padfoot. It means a lot," James said, beaming at his friend and running after Lily.

"Um, what happened to your date?" James asked as he fell into step next to her. She gave him a puzzled look.

"Date? What date?"

"The one who went down to the kitchen for more food."

"Potter, I didn't have a date. I…overreacted a bit when I saw you and Amber…"

"So you understand what happened?" he asked, his heart rejoicing.

Lily gave him a sideways glance. "I suppose. Amber is a bit…ambitious."

"Hah. She's a lying wrench, that's what she is."

"Well, I suppose you're right. But I think you've seen the last of her."

"Really? What makes you say that?"

"Oh, just a little hunch," Lily said and hummed happily. She entered the dorm, smiling widely. "Well, goodnight. Tomorrow's Saturday, as you reminded me earlier. I get to sleep in!"

"Great, Evans! Goodnight," James said, smiled, and went up to his room. Lily went up as well and fell asleep for the first time, actually without a care in the world.

"Did you see his face?" Bellatrix said, laughing madly. "He was about to puke, he was so sick!"

"Next time you decide to pull something like that," Snape started irritably. "Don't make me the one who has to fuck the mudblood."

"Aww, is little Severus upset we didn't finish?" Bellatrix mocked as they turned the corner. Snape glared at her.

"I'm upset Potter didn't break. I though for sure we had him." Snape shuddered. "If I never have to go near Evans again, it'll be a blessing."

"We did have him," Malfoy replied, an evil smile on his face. "He'll be tormented, trust me. And he won't tell anyone either, if I know him enough, and I think I do."

"What makes you say that?" Bellatrix said, frowning.

"Little Evans has no idea what happened. Surely he'd want to protect her at all costs."

"So you're saying we could still break him?" Rodolphus asked, smiling.

"I'm saying that if we surface the memories, Evans will never forgive him."

Bellatrix's laughter rang out in the empty hall.

Just as Lily had gone to sleep, the insane laughter of the five soon-to-be Death Eaters dying down several floors below him, James thrashed in bed. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Snape…and Lily. He fell asleep only twice, waking up panting and sweating because he saw them and he couldn't stop it. He heard Bellatrix's laughter in his ears. At about two in the morning, he sat up in his bed and finished his Potions essay. After that came Transfiguration, then Defense Against the Dark Arts, then Charms. After he had done all his work, he glanced at the clock. It was six in the morning as he sighed, getting up and grabbing his broom, heading for the Quiddich pitch.


	14. The Prize

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: Really quick, I want to thank all reviewers for taking time to write suggestions and what they think of the story. Greatly appreciated! Also, on weekdays it'll take me a bit longer to update because I have to spend eight hours at a prison they mistakenly labeled a school, so I apologize in advance if I can't exactly update as fast as I have been. Enjoy!

Chapter 14 – The Prize

Lily got up, checking her clock. It was ten and she had just enough time to get to breakfast and eat. As she got dressed, she caught sight of a single broom circling the Quiddich pitch. She smiled to herself as she thought about how happy James was about the practice today. She smiled yet again at the thought of her own broom, tucked safely in her trunk. Granted, she hadn't exactly passed flying with flying colors (no pun intended), but nevertheless, she immensely enjoyed the wind rustling through her hair. For some reason, she was unusually happy this morning. She passed it off as not having anything traumatic happen to her last night for the first time in a week and smiled yet again. She opened her trunk and, after littering the floor with books and clothes, found her broom. She took it out, smiling at the thought that it was from her brother, one of the few things that survived the Death Eater's destructive path. She gripped the handle firmly and walked out, deciding not to try a crash course in re-learning to fly by jumping out of her window. She spun down the halls and greeted everyone she met, happily humming to herself. Every so often, she'd chant "One, two, three," and attempt to remember how to waltz, but it all stopped as soon as she heard someone coming, in an attempt to avoid being seen. She entered the Great Hall, broom in hand and smiling. Sirius gave her a look of pity, which puzzled her for a moment, but she happily shrugged it off. The only part about yesterday that she didn't like was the fact that her dress got torn from sidling along the wall. That and her necklace had disappeared. It was probably still in the Room of Requirement, so she decided she'd get it later. She sat down, carefully laying her broom in front of her, and reached over to bite into a piece of toast.

"Hi, Evans," Sirius said, running a nervous hand through his hair from across the table. Lily looked at him, somewhat perplexed at his sudden desire to talk to her. However, she motioned for him to sit down, which he did. "Have you seen James?"

Lily nodded and held up a finger until she finished chewing and swallowed. "Well, yeah. He's flying outside at the Quiddich Pitch. Don't you have practice today?"

Sirius shook his head. "It's tomorrow."

Lily looked out the window at the grounds. "I'll go tell him as soon as I finish my toast. He seems to be having fun."

"Yeah," Sirius said and decided to leave before he said something that he shouldn't. "Okay, since you're doing that, I guess…I'll see you around."

"Yeah," Lily said and beamed at him. This seemed to rattle him more as he got up, walked a few steps, stopped, turned around, then turned around again and left. Lily laughed quietly, not wanting anyone to hear, because she didn't see any reason to start something today.

She finished her breakfast and grabbed her broom, going out on the grounds. She mounted it in back of the changing rooms, well out of the line of sight of James. She was determined to get a loose grip on the fundamental aspects of flying before doing it when another human being was present. She kicked off and hovered, just as she had done in her first year. She then leaned forward, making it go down. Her feet touched the ground again and she remembered why she hated flying. It was a bit unstable and a bit uncontrollable. If Potter and Black can do it, she'll be damned if she failed. She kicked off again, only this time soaring up and turning to see James in the process of a dive. She gasped as he pulled out at the last minute and grabbed the snitch. He noticed her and flew over, holding the struggling ball in his hand.

"Evans!" he said, smiling. There was something odd about his smile, though. It was one of a person who thinks they should smile, not one of a person who did it out of happiness. It looked like it hurt. "Fancy you, sitting on a broom. A Cleansweep, no less! I'm impressed, Evans. Come out for a bit of flying, have you?"

"I came out because I discovered your practice isn't until tomorrow, and I thought I may have to remind you of that, Captain," Lily said, smiling. James smiled his same sad smile as before. "Say, Potter, are you okay?"

"Fine, why do you ask?" James lied.

"It's just, well, nothing, I guess."

James shook his head. He held out the snitch. "How about a race? Whoever catches this first wins?"

Lily pouted. "You have a very big and completely unfair advantage," she pointed out. Then she brightened up and smiled at him. "But what do I win?"

"Well…I don't know, what do you want to win?"

Lily looked up at the clouds in thought. "I think I should win a day when the great James Potter does whatever I say!"

James grinned. "Okay. That works for me."

"Well, what will you win?"

"I don't know. Pick something."

"That's hardly fair! I had to pick my prize!"

James turned his back to her and shrugged. "The odds are kind of against you in either case, so I figure it's only fair that you decide what I win."

"Um…I'll let you come with me as I find my necklace!" Lily said, jokingly, smiling in the hope that he'll understand that she was joking. However, without even turning around, he agreed hurriedly.

_Her necklace, you idiot! _he thought furiously. _That bastard still has her necklace! How could you forget? He was waving it as if it was the bloody house cup!_

"Potter, are you actually taking me up on my joke?"

James turned his head slightly. "Of course. I figure that's a fair prize."

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"Just fine," James replied, but he turned around before doing so. "Ready?" he asked. He opened his hand and the snitch flew out. Lily followed it with her eyes, carefully watching for the glint of gold. She shot forward as she saw it in front of her. James was circling the pitch, keeping an eye on Lily as well as the snitch. He was making his third circle when he heard a voice he never wanted to hear again since last night.

"Oh, Jamesey! Look! I brought our friends to watch!" Bellatrix called from the Slytherin stand as James passed below. He glanced at them, counting five figures. He suddenly shot at them from across the field, stopping a mere foot away from Bellatrix, who didn't even flinch.

"What the hell do you want?" James growled. Snape sneered at him.

"Why, Potter, I just wanted to ask Evans if she enjoyed herself last night."

James took out his wand. "You will say nothing to her about what happened," James growled, staring at all of them in turn. Malfoy laughed.

"Still haven't told her, have you?"

James didn't answer. Bellatrix laughed loudly at him.

"You haven't told her?" she said, smiling in a way that made James cringe. "Well, that's not nice. I'd like to know if I nearly screwed someone like Snape."

"Won't she wonder where this went to?" Snape asked, ignoring Bellatrix's comment and dropping the necklace from his fist. On it was a pearl entrapped in a silver heart. James lunged for it but nearly crashed into the row of seats behind them. Bellatrix let out another bound of laughter.

"Give it to me, Snivellus," James said menacingly.

"Or what, Jamesey? No, I think we'll keep it for a while. At least until our favorite Head Girl asks for it. Then we'd give it to her and explain why we have it!" she finished, smiling madly. Snape slipped it in his pocket and they all slowly went down the stairs, leaving James to his thoughts, perhaps the worst punishment they could have given him.

"Potter! I got it!" Lily yelled happily. She looked around and zoomed towards James. "Look!" she commanded, smiling widely. "I got it! I guess I win! We don't have to do that business with the prizes if you don't want to."

James shook his head. "No, you won it. You deserve your prize."

Lily looked around. "Why are you here, anyway?"

"Oh…I thought that it was hiding behind the seats here. You won. So I guess you'll want to do it Monday then?"

"Yeah," Lily said, smiling. James smiled again, but he did it so badly that Lily's smile vanished. She was sure his mouth should have cried out in agony, by the looks of how much the smile hurt him. He noticed that she wasn't buying his false happiness.

"Well, that's great! You might even replace me."

Lily laughed. "Oh, okay, sure, Potter. I can really see that happening. The only reason I caught it was because I sneaked around the corner and nearly ran into it. Anyway, we should get going. It's nearly lunch time."

James looked down to see the five Slytherins exit. Bellatrix looked up and him and sneered, her face clearly visible to him even at this height. His head shot up in a smile. "Tell you what, Evans. If you make it to the great hall before me, you can have this whole weekend during which I'll do whatever you say, within reason."

Lily smiled and turned to the school. "Okay. When do we start?"

After another quick glance at the bottom of the stairs, James saw that all five of them had stopped to look up at them. His head shot up again as he said, "We start…now!"

Lily smiled and zoomed towards the school. James, however raised his wand slowly, making sure the watching Slytherins didn't notice.

"_Accio Lily's necklace!_" he commanded, pointing at Snape's hand. The necklace zoomed towards him as Snape clutched his bleeding hand. Bellatrix was laughing at him and Malfoy was glaring at James. Turning his broom to the school as well, he went as fast as he could, trying to catch up to Lily. As he burst through the doors, out of breath, he looked at the Gryffindor table, where Lily was sitting next to Remus and had stood up, her hands crossed at her chest and a big smile on her lips.


	15. A Friend In Need

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Chapter 15 – A Friend In Need 

"I won!" she said happily. James smiled.

"Yes you did. Good job. I also found your necklace this morning, I just forgot about it when you mentioned it," James said and cautiously handed her the necklace, trying not to surface any memories of Snape holding it. Lily smiled at him and took it, putting it on.

"Thanks! I have to get going, though. I have to study."

James waved goodbye as she left and took his seat next to Remus, who turned to face him.

"She seems in an awfully cheery mood today."

"Yeah, about that," Sirius started, looking somewhat guilty. "I only put the charm on her so she'll be happy…I didn't realize it would send her overboard."

"You put a charm on her?"

"It…helped her forget."

"Sirius, she didn't remember anything to begin with!"

"And what if she had, huh? Then you would have been mighty happy with the cheering charm I put on her. And besides, it'll wear off in another three hours."

"I can't believe you didn't tell anyone," Remus hissed. "You put a charm on the Head Girl without her knowing!"

Sirius threw his fork in his plate, making a loud clatter. "Oh yes! The one time I go and be all nice to Evans and you all bloody scold me as if I'm three!"

"Sirius, lower your voice," James whispered hurriedly. Sirius glared at the onlookers and they turned back to eating hurriedly. "Look, it may have been nice in your mind, but if she ever find out-"

"If she ever find out why I put it on her in the first place, she'd thank me!" Sirius whispered hurriedly. James leaned back and, at a loss for what to say, decided to bite into another piece of bread. Remus eyed his two friends with curiosity.

"I seem to be missing something," he observed. James glared at him and Sirius stabbed his chicken with the fork. He turned to Peter, who shrugged.

"Don't shrug, Wormtail!" James suddenly spoke up, and, although he said it with normal tones, it sounded as if it was a scream. The little boy turned his scared eyes on him. Remus turned sharply to Sirius, who had paused with the fork halfway to his mouth and was looking at James with a mask of incomprehension.

"James?" Remus asked, noticing Wormtail wasn't about to speak until he knew what was bothering James.

"You were there, Peter, weren't you?" James spat with such sudden venom that Wormtail shrunk in his seat. "Oh, yes, I saw you appear at the end of the corridor. You must have heard me, Peter. I screamed your name to high heaven in the hope you'd hear me."

Peter shook his head. "What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice quivering.

James stood up, fuming. Remus forced a trembling Wormtail to stand as well. "Just follow me. I can't say anything here."

Sirius got up and pushed Wormtail as James cautiously led them to the Room of Requirement. As they entered there were four seats, facing each other and forming a square. They each took one.

"What is this about, Prongs?" Remus asked for the second time. James glared at him as Sirius got up and indifferently inspected the books on the shelf. Oddly enough, all of them were for healing spells.

"Look, I know you were there, Peter," James said, leaning towards him. "I saw you. You looked straight at me."

"What?" Peter asked again, barely heard.

"Last night, Wormtail! When I thought you'd gone to keep Remus company!"

Remus shook his head. "He came, Prongs. He came after midnight."

"Well, the fun was over before midnight. Isn't that right, Peter?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't you?" James yelled, springing from his seat. He pointed at a wall in the direction of the corridor he'd avoid for the rest of his life. "You didn't know what was going on over there? You didn't know why I screamed your name, Peter? You didn't see me on my knees, begging for them to stop, Wormtail? Didn't you see the great James Potter cry in front of those bloody Slytherins?"

Wormtail had curled up into a ball, his eyes wide and fearful. Remus turned to Sirius, who seemed to be reading a book without moving his eyes.

"You saw me, Wormtail! And I know you bloody heard me! Was it just a coincidence, then, when that bloody Bellatrix Lesterange asked if it was you at the end and her husband nodded? Was it a fucking coincidence that as soon as they saw you they knew something was wrong? Was is a bloody coincidence that they acted as if you were a warning, Wormtail?"

"James, that's enough!" Remus declared. James turned a face in rage at him.

"Stay out of this, Lupin!" he yelled and pushed him back into his seat. "I even believed you were with Sirius, on a mission to help me. Oh, how stupid could I bloody be! You weren't on a rescue mission, were you? Is that where you've been sneaking? All those times you just disappeared?"

Peter had steams of tears on his face now, trembling under the pure rage of James. Remus looked to Sirius for help, but he still had the book open, only now his eyes were closed and he was mumbling, as he does when he's trying to work out a problem.

"Tell me something, mate," James said, saying the last word with such sarcasm it became an insult. "Why did you let Snivellus do it, huh? Why didn't you show your true loyalty? Why weren't you the one ripping Evans's clothes off, huh, Wormtail?" James yelled. "I know you've been wanting to do it! I know I'm the only thing stopping you! It's funny, isn't it? Even when you turn into an animal, you're still the same double-crossing rat you always are!"

"Prongs," Peter said, controlling the stream of scared tears down his face and reaching towards his friend. "I didn't do it, Prongs! I'd never do that! We took the oath!"

"And I'm supposed to believe that oath means a damn to someone like you, am I?" James said, slapping Peter's hand away from him. Peter curled in a ball once again, rocking while grabbing hold of his hand. Sirius slammed his book shut.

"That's enough James!" he said firmly, looking at the scene for the first time since entering the room.

"You swore to be loyal, Peter! You swore to die for us as we will for you! What happened to that?" James yelled.

"I said that's enough, James!" Sirius said again, a bit louder. James stopped to look at him.

"Do you realize what he's done, Padfoot?" James said, all traces of anger being wiped away by and enormous aura of pain. James Potter was ready to break. "Do you realize what he's bloody done? Do you have an idea of what he could do?" James said, trembling not with rage, but with dread.

"James, you're jumping to conclusions. You don't know if that was Wormtail down there. And besides, I had asked him if he could help me. He had said no but maybe he changed his mind."

James shook his head as his eyes flashed anger again upon looking at Peter. "The deepest circle in hell is reserved for traitors, Wormtail. I hear they're warming up your spot right now."

James walked out of the room and slammed the door so that the walls shook. Remus finally caught his breath again and fixed his glasses, thrown askew by James's shove. Sirius sat down next to Peter, who was still trembling.

"He's just mad, mate. He rushed to conclusions. He'll calm down. We all know you'd never do something so unfaithful to us as that."


	16. Visitors

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Chapter 16 – Visitors 

James walked into the dorms and hurriedly bounded to his room as he heard Lily's door click open. He was in no mood to deal with an overly happy girl who, in all probability, would be cursing him into oblivion if she knew what happened. What he had let happen. He shut the door just as the other one opened, Lily's head sticking out.

Lily shrugged, but just as she was about to close the door knocking was heard outside. Frantic knocking. Lily bounded down the stairs and opened the door to see Remus and Sirius outside. Both stared at her as if surprised she'd be in her dorm. The feeling of blissful happiness had slightly lifted as she frowned at them. "Yes?" she asked.

"We need to see James," Remus said, panting to catch his breath.

"Send them away, Evans," James called from the top of the steps. "No visitors allowed, remember?"

"They seem to be distraught."

James gripped the railing tighter, his knuckles turning white with the pressure. "They're just my stupid friends! I will not talk to them!" he yelled and went back in his room.

Lily turned back to the two boys, frowning slightly while looking at the ceiling. She shrugged off the frown and said, "Has anyone been seriously hurt?"

Remus and Sirius looked at each other and decided on the complete opposite course of action. Sirius shook his head hurriedly and Remus nodded. Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Want to try that again?" she asked, a small smile donning her lips.

"Well, I was just nodding to his shaking," Remus explained and pointed at a point ten feet behind Sirius. Lily smiled even more, shook her head and closed the door on them. Both boys leaned against the door and calmed down their breathing.

"What did you think?" Remus asked. Sirius stared down the hallway.

"About what?"

"About what James said. What if Peter isn't completely loyal? He doesn't exactly have much backbone."

Sirius closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, a rather grown up move from the guy who's always smiling. He sighed. "I hope he is, Moony. I hope he has just enough sense to never do anything like that. James would kill him if he ever admits to it."

"I think we all agree James overreacted a bit. Personally, I think it's had a very deep effect on him."

Sirius got up and extended his hand to Remus. "Come on. We have to have a chat with Wormtail."

Remus took the offered hand and got up, leading the way to the Gryffindor Common Room. As they entered, it became apparent that Peter wasn't in there. They moved across to the Head's dorm entrance and knocked again. Lily answered, her hair half out of her bun.

"Look, if you want to just talk, there's no need to give the impression of a real disaster," she said irritably. Their hurried knocks had driven her from the top of her stairs.

"Good afternoon, Evans. Not so cheery anymore, I see," Sirius observed as he pushed his way in past her. She frowned as Remus entered as well, nodding to her. Sirius turned in the middle of the room. "Which one is James's room?"

"You know, Black, I don't think that this is allowed based on the rules Dumbledore set."

Sirius looked at her. "You saw what he was like! I need to talk to him."

"Take a seat. You too, Remus. I'll go up to see what he wants, shall I?" Lily said and went up the stairs. She knocked on the door just as James opened it a fraction of an inch, his body leaning against the door and not showing his face.

"What is it, Evans?" he said as nicely as he could.

"Look, I know you're not in the greatest of moods, but there's people here to see you."

"Is this one of the things I have to do because you told me to?"

Lily sighed. "Look, I had a weird morning. Just forget the whole prize thing, okay? Those essays are bearing down on me. I've completely forgotten half the after effects of the imperious curse and I forgot which year we learned it in and I have no clue as to how to start my herbology one."

James tensed at the mention of the unforgivable. "Fine, I'll come down there."

Lily turned around and went back down, going to the library as she took her hair out of her bun. She ran her fingers through all of the Defense Against the Dark Arts books, in the hope of finding something that would spark her memory. Just as she took out a book, James came down and sat next to Sirius.

"Well?" James said, looking from one friend to the other. "What's this about?"

"I think you scared Peter, James," Remus whispered. "I don't know what happened, but he didn't deserve those accusations."

"You're right, Moony…you don't know what happened. If you did, you'd be yelling at Wormtail too."

"Then tell me what happened."

James glanced at Lily as she skimmed a page in a textbook. Remus looked at her and nodded.

"I see."

Sirius leaned forward in his seat. "Look, mate, I agree that Peter isn't exactly the strongest guy and doesn't stand up for himself or anything, but you didn't know what happened."

"I know what I saw Sirius. I saw a traitor."

Lily had sat down next to the window and was hurriedly writing down information onto a scrap piece of parchment. "Prongs, you have no way to prove that. You can't just accuse your friend as being disloyal and not have any proof. He's a marauder, mate. We wouldn't do that to each other."

"We wouldn't. I'm not so sure Peter understands the true meaning of this friendship."

"Look, I have had my doubts about him, but, honestly, could you see him do anything to jeopardize our health? The boy practically worships us, James. It just doesn't fit."

"He only hangs with us because we provide protection. Don't tell me you didn't notice that."

"Maybe that was his original intent, James, but I know he wouldn't do something like that. He's our friend. I understand you're upset, but that's no justification to the things you said to him. You made him cry, James."

"Maybe I scared him into calling it off with his new friends."

"James, if it is as you say, there's no way they're just going to let him just leave. It's a service of life with them."

"Good. Serves the little traitor right," James said indifferently. His friends stared at him in horror.

"James, whatever happened has clearly changed you. You're becoming sick, man. You need to find help. You need to confide in someone."

"You need to tell her," Sirius said, indicating Lily. She was still referencing the book and hadn't heard a word of the whispered conversation.

James's eyes traveled to her and her words rang through his ears. _"James, please, help me!" "I've completely forgotten half the effects of the imperious curse…" _He sprang out of his seat. "Right. You two, out. Now."

"James, mate," Sirius said, looking up at his friend.

"I have nothing to say to either of you. Not anymore. Do what you will. Just leave."

The two boys reluctantly got up and left, going back to the Common Room. James sat back down and put his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes. He glanced over at Lily. She had gotten up and had replaced the book and was looking at the others critically. He sighed. Maybe if he avoided the whole thing it would go away. Maybe everything would just go away. He sprang up and went to his room. He kicked open his trunk and started digging through it, sending books and clothes to litter his floor as had the ones that had come out of the dresser when he knocked it over. Wrapped in a shirt he found the bottle of firewhiskey that he had taken from his father's cabinet during the summer. He cracked open the seal and smelled it only for the second time in his life. The first was after Charlie had died and his father had given his a small glass to calm him down. He looked at it with disgust, knowing he'll end up a drunk like his father if he started now. However, instead of closing the bottle, he put his lips to it and turned it upside down, gulping up the liquid as it burned his throat. He put it on the table as he steadied himself by grabbing the edge of his bed. After a moment of dizziness, he smiled for the first time since last night. He dreamily put the cap back on the bottle, not wanting to lose the precious elixir.

"I think I fancy a chat with Evans," he declared happily, and, getting up and finding the door on his third try, carefully descended the stairs.


	17. Lilykins

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: I find it quite ironic how I have to do a report on posttraumatic stress and it ties in so well to the story. Anyway, I hope you continue reading, and I hope I can, for once, accurately put into words what I see in my mind. Happy Holidays, everyone! I hope everyone has a great time, because that's what the holidays are about! And good luck to everyone in everything and anything they set their mind to this coming year! Enjoy.

Chapter 17 – Lily-kins 

James stumbled into the room and flopped onto the nearest seat. Lily raised her eyebrows at his from across the room. He smiled at her.

"Why, hello, Evans," James said happily. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Everything alright, Potter?" Lily asked, putting her essay on the table. Something wasn't right.

"Fine. Haven't been happier since school started. Well, maybe there were a couple of moments I was happier." James sprang up in his seat. "Like that time we kissed. Remember that, Evans?"

Lily froze for a second, but rolled her eyes and recovered. "Potter, are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, Lily-kins."

Lily dropped her pencil. Something about that name bothered her. The headache she had since after lunch had worsened. She frowned at the fact that she didn't remember any reason that name would bother her. However, James slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Mustn't say that, Lily-flower. Mustn't ever hear that again."

"Why?" Lily asked. James shook his head furiously.

"It's linked to…to that. That which I can't say. Better off forgetting about it, Lily-flower. Better off if you forget everything about it."

"Everything about what?" Lily asked, curious but scared. "What should I forget, James?"

James shook his head again, and then laughed. "They didn't do it, Lily-flower. It's okay, because Sirius stopped them. Sirius stopped everything. Padfoot to the rescue!" he screamed and jumped off the seat, only to fall back down laughing. "Only Snivellus will pay," James said, suddenly calming down. "But don't worry about it, Lily-flower. Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

"James, don't worry about what?"

James opened his mouth to speak but closed it and laughed again. "You know, this is great for happiness. Try some, Lily-flower!"

"Try some what? James, what's wrong?'

"Why, some firewhiskey, or course," James said, beaming at her. Lily's eyes widened.

"Potter, you're drunk?" Lily asked in disbelief. James's face suddenly looked very sober.

"No. Yes. Look, I took a little, okay? And it was just to get away from…that place."

"What place?" Lily asked, curious.

James sat down. "The place on the seventh floor, Lily-flower."

"What about the seventh floor?" Lily asked, remembering dimly that she had been there last night.

"The corridor down there with Lesterange and Snivellus. And you and your dress…and Snape taking it off…" James looked up hurriedly and ran into the bathroom at once. Not bothering to completely close the door he leaned over the toilet bowl and did what he had wanted to do since Lily's necklace dropped from Snape's hand last night.

Lily stood there, her eyes closed. She had a sudden vision of what it would have looked like and she cursed her vivid imagination. He couldn't have seen that, she would have remembered that. She certainly wouldn't have let Snape take it off of her without a fight. He must have imagined it. It must be a prank. _I bet he's not even drunk. _Lily got up as he came out of the bathroom, leaning on the door and looking like he just lost half his weight. Lily walked over to him and took his arm, gently guiding him to his room.

"Thanks, Lily-flower," James said, leaning his head on her.

"Just sleep it off, Potter. You'll be fine, I'm sure."

"You're so nice to me, Lily- flower. I'm surprised you still talk to me after what I've put you through. Of what has been done to you because of me."

Lily ignored him, determined to just get him to his room before he tells another one of his far-fetched stories. She entered the room and gently steered him to the bed. As he was sitting, however, he knocked his glass of water over, spilling it on Lily's robes. She frowned as she stood up and took off her robes, only to discover the water had enough time to seep to her sweater. She sighed as she hurriedly unbuttoned it, but was suddenly tackled to the ground by James.

"No!" James yelled, his head right above hers. "Keep it on, Lily! Don't help him! Don't kiss him!" he yelled frantically. He covered his eyes and rolled over, off of Lily. "Don't! Put your clothes back on! Resist the spell! You can resist that spell! Don't let the imperious curse get you. Don't let it get you," he said, tears rolling down his face now. He curled up in a ball. Lily looked at him, shocked.

"Let's get you to bed," she finally said, getting up and helping him back to his bed. He curled up there as he had on the floor and continued to shed tears, mumbling under his breath. Lily uncertainly left the room. She shakily descended the stairs as she thought about his words. Was it all just a prank? She couldn't be sure of that now. She didn't know what to be sure of.

Sitting down on the chair, she had left the door open to hear if anything happened. She now wished that she had closed it. He seemed to be asleep, but dreaming very vividly. He was screaming again, mumbling at times. Mostly there were small sobs. Lily moved her eyes around the room, desperate for something to distract her. She got up and went to the sofa, where she closed her eyes and leaned her head back, breathing in deeply. She saw the corridor James was talking about. Her eyebrows furrowed as her imagination showed flashes, as if retrieving from memory. She saw herself walk down the hall, smiling at her plan to get Potter off her back. Then she saw someone's arms shoot out from the corner as she turned it. She screamed as she tried to push away from her captor, but a wand flashed and the scream was silenced. A merciless laugh was heard as a door opened hastily and closed.

Lily shook her head furiously and sprang her eyes open. No matter how big of a lie Potter could make, she wouldn't fall for it. She didn't need more stress, more horrible thoughts or false memories. She was lucky not to get posttraumatic stress after her family died, according to her doctor. Petunia had sent her there as soon as she came back home. Lily frowned at the thought of that exam. He had sat in his chair and had asked questions, all the while smiling at her like an idiot as she told him her parents and brother were murdered. He was lucky to get out of the office the same color. She would risk expulsion if he had spent another minute with her. It was the nurse Lily liked, because she was the one Lily talked to. She was the one who helped her. Lily had been only mildly surprised to see her at the Leaky Cauldron the day before term started. She smiled and sat with her in Diagon Alley. She smiled again as she thought of how much that helped her.

James screamed in his room. Her eyes darted to his open door and then to the door leading to the Gryffindor Common Room. She shut her eyes as tears slowly welled up behind them. The same flashes as before played in her eyes to the background sobbing of James from upstairs. Something bothered her. Some weight in her heart had appeared from the moment James had called her "Lily-kins". Something happened when she heard him yell. Something in her had broken as she listened to him scream. Another bound of mumbling was heard. Lily wiped her eyes hurriedly with her hands and rubbed the tears on her robe. She breathed in, closed her eyes, and managed to calm herself down. She bounded for the door to the Gryffindor Common Room and burst in, happy to see Sirius, Remus, and Peter sitting around the fire. Before she could say anything James screamed again. Sirius's eyes widened as he sprang up. Remus watched as Lily's eyes involuntarily filled with tears. Peter's head had sprung up from his essay. Sirius didn't need an invitation to jump over the couch and run past Lily, put to James's room. Remus stood up and carefully led Lily back into the Heads' Dorm.

"He…he got drunk…" Lily mumbled as she wiped tears hurriedly away. "He got drunk and started screaming…started screaming awful things. Things that didn't happen. Things that couldn't have happened."

A smash was heard from upstairs. "Blast it, Sirius! Why do you have to do this?" James yelled at the top of his voice. Lily shrunk in the sofa. "Why can't you just leave me alone? Why can't people just leave me alone?"

"He kept saying stuff about the seventh floor," Lily said and winced as something else was broken upstairs. "He kept saying something happened last night. He said something awful happened."

Lily shrunk again as Sirius came out of the door, walking slowly backwards. "James, mate, quit it," he said quietly. Lily shut her eyes and ran inside the bathroom, closing the door. As she sank down against the wall, shaking and wondering why she was crying, James's hand was steady as it pointed his wand at his best friend's heart.


	18. Truth Be Told

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: Okay, first off, I apologize for the length of this. I am fully aware of how short it is. However, I am going on vacation for a week so I will not be able to update during that time. So I figured that something is better than nothing. I'll be back on the second, and will hopefully have updated by the fourth, at least. Thank you to all my reviewers, and I hope your holidays are going as great as mine. Enjoy.

Chapter 18 – Truth Be Told 

Remus stood up, staring at the scene at the top of the stairs. Sirius slowly raised his hands to his side as if surrendering.

"Look, I'm not looking for a fight, okay?" Sirius said quietly. James's hand began to shake slightly. "I just want to help, James."

"Yeah? Well, you can't!" James yelled. His wand, while still raised, pointed at the floor. Remus came to the foot of the stairs, afraid to move closer. "Look, it was my fault! It was my entire fault! She was nothing more to them than the thing that would hurt me the most! She was nothing more to any of them! I doubt Snivellus even enjoyed it!"

Sirius took a step closer. When James made no movement with his wand, he came closer still. He carefully took the wand away from James's hand. "I can see how you must feel, mate," Sirius whispered. "It wasn't your fault. I saw how they had you. You couldn't do anything."

"That's just it, Sirius," James said quietly, looking at the floor. "I couldn't do anything."

He turned around and, grabbing his wand from Sirius's hand, went in his room and slammed the door. Sirius made to go to it but he heard the loud locking enchantment and stopped.

"And thanks a lot for making me sober!" James yelled. He sat crossly on his bed. Well, the beginning wasn't that bad. That is, until Lily asked about…it. He glanced at his dresser, where the bottle stood, only a quarter of the way done. He got up, but his foot bumped into a glass on the floor. He looked down and saw the glass Lily had spilled on herself. He slowly bent down, picked it up and frowned at it, remembering it had started the sleep, haunted by the dreams. He set it down next to the bottle of firewhiskey. For a moment he surveyed the two objects as if daring them to speak. He picked up the bottle and opened his trunk. He dropped it in where it landed on his robes. He frowned as he shut the trunk with a loud snap.

Lily wiped her face with the towel. Her hands were freezing from the cold water. She walked out the door and sat down on the chair, picking up her paper and acting as if nothing had happened. The only indication that the last hour had in fact happened was her frequent stops in writing, followed by her closing her eyes and mumbling. When she heard James's door open, the only thing that changed was the increase in the speed of her writing.

"Hello Evans!" James yelled, cursing himself for not checking if the coast was clear or not. He smoothly shuffled his invisibility cloak behind his back. "Nearly done with your essay?"

"No, Potter," Lily snapped. "I am done. I'm just revising it right now."

"Well, that's great. I just wanted to check," James said and went back in his room. He hurriedly slung his cloak over him and carefully went out again, closing the door after him. Lily looked up straight at him, shrugged, and went back to mumbling the words on her essay.

James carefully and quietly descended the stairs. He got to the bottom and turned around. Instead of finding Lily reading her essay, as he had hoped she would be, he saw her with her hands over her face, rubbing her eyes. "What was that about?" she muttered so quietly James had to move closer to hear. "He just made that whole thing up. I would have remembered if I did something as awful as nearly screwing Severus Snape. I would have remembered."

Lily glanced at her essay. James carefully moved even closer, trying not to give himself away.

"But it says you can have amnesia. It says you may not remember. What if I did? What if I screwed him under the curse and I don't remember?" She said quietly. Her eyes widened and she put a hand to her mouth. "What if I did?" she whispered. Her eyes welled up with tears. James couldn't take it anymore.

"Lily," he said, rolling the invisibility cloak off of him. He dropped the Marauder's map next to it on the floor. No matter how much he could ignore it himself, it was tearing her apart. The one girl he cared for is just about to be hurt again, and this time it really was his entire fault. "You didn't. I'll tell you what happened. I'll tell you everything."


	19. Bitter, Lonely, Friendless

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Chapter 19 - Bitter, Lonely, Friendless

"James?" Lily breathed. Her eyes travelled down to the cloak on the floor and rested on the map. She gave him a puzzled, questioning look. "Potter, what is this?"

James looked down and shook his head. "It's not important, Lily. Not important at all. You have to hear what happened. I have to tell you."

Lily closed her book quietly and got up to stand in front of him. "What happened, James?" she asked. James gulped.

"I let you down, Lily. I couldn't protect you. I couldn't do anything. I failed," James said and began to shake. Lily took him gently by the arm and led him to the couch. "It's just...I could have transformed, I could have done something, anything, but I didn't."

Lily carefully tried to figure out what he meant in her head while gently rubbing his arm in comfort. He turned to her and gave her the most painful smile she's ever seen anyone give.

"You probably don't even know what I'm talking about."

Lily didn't answer. He gave a dry, humorless laugh.

"Last night, Lily. Last night something horrible happened. Something you weren't even meant to be part of. It's all my fault. You see, last night, after you walked out of the Room of Requirement, you were caught. And when I came after you, I was met with a dark hall and four people. They were Bellatrix Lesterange, Malfoy, Rodolphus Lesterange, and Regulus Black. I asked where you were. And they...said you're on a date. They lit up the hallway and there you were, pinned to the wall by none other than Severus Snape, your necklace dangling from his hand like a trophy, your dress...your dress ripped," James stopped. His eyes glazed over with tears of anger, but he blinked them away. He stared straight ahead of him, and breathed heavily. Lily leaned to be in his line of vision.

"I remeber that," she whispered. Her voice was scared, and her eyes were wide with fear. James gulped and continued.

"I tried...I tried to get to you. I tried to break free when Regulus and Rodolphus caught me. But I couldn't. Bellatrix just laughed. She laughed her insane cackle," Jame said viciously. "And then you...you pleaded with me. You asked for help. And more of that insane laughter. More of that ridiculous look of sweet revenge in everyone's eyes. More of it."

Lily sank back into the sofa. Her mind was playing images, things he was describing that she knew she wouldn't have imagined. Her heart rate quickened and her breaths became shallow as she saw it. She saw everything right up to the point when Snape pointed his wand ather. She gripped James by the arm. He looked sadly at her.

"And then he pointed his wand...at you...and he muttered that curse...that blasted unforgivable."

Lily put a hand to her mouth, which was open in horror. James turned back around, not daring to close his eyes in case the images came again. He looked straight at the bathroom door as he kept going.

"And he did it...and then made you like him. He asked you if you liked him...and you said...you said..."

"James, whatever I said, I didn't mean it," Lily reassured him. He shook his head.

"You looked at me, Lily. You looked at me like you look at a bug about to be squashed. Lily, it was pure hatred. It was just like you were looking at me in third year, when you saw me at the forest's edge and I asked you out. When you said you hated everything about me. You looked at me like I was dirt beneath you feet, Lily. No spell can do that. No spell can put that much hatred in someone."

"James..."

James hurriedly put a hand to his face, rubbing away the tears threatening to fall. He'd be damned if he started crying again, for the fourth time this year. "And then you said you wanted Snape. That you wanted Snape to...to..." he broke off and sighed deeply. "He kissed you and...ripped your dress to shreds. And then you stepped out of your dress, and looked like an...like an angel. But he kissed you again. He kissed your lips, he kissed your neck. I heard the snap of your bra undoing and...and..."

Lily clutched her clothes to her chest behind him. Tears welled up as, little by little, she saw glimpses of what had happened.

"And then Peter was at the end of the hall," Jame said. "And I thought we were saved," he said through another bound of humorless laughter. "I thought Peter was the one who would stop this. So I started yelling. But it wasn't Peter. It was Sirius. Peter did what he does best. He ran."

"So I didn't..."

James shook his head. "As soon as Peter showed up, Snape had you put your clothes back on, not revealing anything more than what was under your dress. Then Sirius came, and, well, you must remeber the rest."

Lily nodded slightly. James turned to look at her. He took one look and broke down. Startled, she leaned towards him, hugging him. He quietly cried in her chest as she held him, at a loss for what to do.

"I couldn't protect you. I vowed to and I couldn't. I couldn't..."

"You couldn't do anything," Lily said soothingly.

"I couldn't, Lily. I couldn't even transform."

"I'm glad you didn't. What if they found out and they knew that you were a stag? That would no doubt help them. I'm okay, James. Nothing really happened."

James suddenly sprang up and punched the couch. Lily jumped. "You were nearly raped! That's not nothing! I said I wouldn't let anything happen to you, and it happened right under my nose! Right in front of me! To a damn chorus of laughter behind me! I couldn't protect you at all! And you didn't deserve it, either! They didn't do it because they had it in for you, they had it in for me! I should have known that from the start! I should have known when Charles died! They hadn't gone after him! They were after me, Lily! They were always after me."

James finished quietly. He sank back on the sofa. "They were after me too," she said quietly. "They killed my family, remeber?"

"Don't you see, Lily? They were never after you! I'm the reason your life's messed up! I'm the reason your family died. I'm the cause for everything that has happened this past week. It's all my fault, Lily. All my fault."

"Don't blame yourself for my parents' death!" Lily snapped, tears falling down her face. "Voldemort may very well be after me! He may very well be trying to kill two birds with one stone!"

"No, Lily," James said, shaking his head. "He's only trying to get me. And not to kill me, I know that much. But if he gets to kill you, a muggleborn, he's happy. Especially if it hurts me. Don't you see, Lily Evans? I'm the sole reason for all the hurtful things you've been through. Maybe if I stopped...if I cut off everyone, everyone will be happy."

Lily shook her head. "It doesn't work that way. It never works that way."

"And how would you know?" James asked, quietly.

"I've tried. I've tried it, James. All that comes of it is...me. Bitter, lonely, friendless and horrible."

"You're not horrible, and you do have friends."

Lily smiled sadly. "No, James, I have aquaintances. Those don't count as friends. I've told you, James Potter, more about myself than I've told anyone else. And to think, I used to dislike you."

"Used to?" James said.

"Yes. It's quite ironic, really. We've been at opposite sides on everything for the past six years, and now you're my only friend. My only friend in the world."

"So you do have friends," James said, with an attempt at a smile. She looked at him and her heart filled with that feeling. That unfamiliar feeling that the world is perfect, all because it allowed someone like James to let her feel this way. "Lily Evans, I love you," James said. He held up a finger as Lily tried to speak. "But I will never want to put you in danger. I'm stopping. I'm stopping everything. I'm going to stop asking you out. I'm going to stop hanging out with Remus and Peter...and Sirius. I can't risk it, Lily. You all mean too much to me to be killed because of me. I'd rather be lonely than guilty, Lily. I'd rather be dead than cause anyone harm."

"James..." Lily started. James shook his head and leaned in, kissing her. She felt instantly elated as their lips met for the third time ever. He stood up.

"Goodbye, Lily Evans. Tomorrow, you will hate me again. And I will...I will be over you and completely alone. Then no one can hurt you and my friends. Just...always remember...I love you."

Lily watched as he went to his stairs, slowly climbing up to his room. "You can't just dismiss feelings at the drop of a hat, James!" Lily yelled as he opened his door. "You can't just decide you don't love someone!"

James said nothing, only quietly shutting the door.

"I love you," Lily said quietly, looking at the shut door. "I love you, James!" she screamed. The door stayed shut. "I love you," she sobbed. She grabbed a pillow and gripped it, pressing the soft material against her chest.

In his room, James closed his eyes and tried his best to ignore the sobs from downstairs. He had heard her declare her love for him three times, and every time he had wanted to jump up and go downstairs, lift her off her feet and spin her around happily. He wanted to feel the warmth of her body, the touch of her lips. He went to reach for his homework, then remembered he had done it all. He lay down in his bed. The sobs had stopped, and he was glad for that. He closed his eyes, and, to his surprise, the images from last night were nowhere to be found. Instead there was Lily. She was smiling at him, a smile that lit up her face and made her eyes twinkle with life. He smiled as her laughter rang in his ears.

His eyes snapped open. Someone had knocked on his door.

_Sins of Angels: Okay, well, I know I said I wouldn't be posting while I was on vacation (which I can tell a lot of you read by your reviews, hehe) but the computer was open and the ideas were flowing so I decided to go ahead and post something. However, I am going to a place with no computer starting tomorrow and not coming in contact with a computer until the third, so I will NOT be able to post anything, so don't expect a post for a couple of days. Sorry about this whole thing. Thanks to all reviewers and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. By the way, did it say anywhere in the books when Lily, James, Sirius and Peter were born? Because if it didn't I'll just have to pick arbitrary dates for the time being. If anyone knows and could tell me, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!_


	20. The Map

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: Hello again. I have been getting complaints about the length of my chapters, which, I must concede, is quite fair. With the exception of the last two, which were written on the spur of the moment under a time limit, all the past chapters could have been a bit longer. This would also, however, mean it would take longer for me to update. Let me know in review what you would prefer and I'll do my best to make them longer. Also, this one is a bit short as well, but that's just because I ran out of creative ideas. And this is why if you want longer chapters, you should be prepared to wait longer. Anyway, have fun reading this (mildly) amusing chapter, which, surprisingly, is not extremely sad. And, if you happen to have time, please let me know what you think. I really love to get feedback and I really appreciate it! Thanks! Enjoy.

Chapter 20 – The Map 

James sat up in his bed. The knocking was soft, as if the person was hesitant and unsure.

"Merlin, it's her!" he breathed. He lowered his feet slowly until they lightly grazed the floor. Glancing at the door, he ran a worried hand through his hair, thinking quickly about his next move.

"James?" came an uncertain, squeaky voice from behind the door. "Can…can I come in?"

James bounded for the door and hurriedly opened it. "Hi Wormtail," he muttered as he grabbed Peter by the robes and pulled him in. James's eyes wandered hurriedly around the room until he saw that Lily was sitting on the sofa, facing away from him and reading something. He quickly shut the door and turned to face Peter, who was standing uncomfortably in the middle of the room.

"James, I'm really sorry," he blurted out as soon as he noticed James was looking at him. "It's just…I saw you and you were being held down and Evans, she was…was…and I knew that Sirius was coming and I panicked, James. I panicked. I wouldn't have made anything better and I probably would only have gotten in your way and Sirius was there, so I ran off to see if Remus had left already, because maybe he could have helped. I just…I'm sorry."

James sat down heavily on his bed. "No, I'm sorry, Wormtail. I said some really awful things to you today. Things you didn't deserve at all. I know you'd never betray us. And I don't blame you…everything came out okay in the end. Can you forgive me?"

Peter nodded, smiling broadly at James, who returned it. As the boy was making his way to the door, he stopped. He turned to James with a frown on his face. "Say, Prongs, did you and Evans have another row or something?"

"Why?" James asked, becoming alert and facing him. Peter frowned a bit more.

"Only, when she opened the door to let me in and I asked to see you she said, 'Oh, yes, go see James bloody Potter! I daresay he'd be _delighted _to see _you_!'" Peter said, doing a great impression of Lily. "Then she sighed and let me through, going back to sit on the sofa."

"No, Peter, this was about…something else," James said. He reached over for his cloak and the Marauder's Map and realized he had left them downstairs, next to-"Lily!" he whispered. "Peter, can you go and wait for me in the Common Room? I have to have a chat with Evans."

Peter nodded and left. James took a deep breath and listened for the sound of the door closing after he had gone. As soon as he heard it, his door carefully swung open and he edged out of his room. He slowly went down the stairs until he could see over Lily's shoulder. He cursed mutely under his breath as he realized she was holding the map, and it was still working. Pointing his wand at it, he muttered softly "Mischief managed!"

Lily jumped as the map cleared itself. James smiled and decided to stay put, thinking about his options. Lily sighed and took out her wand. "There's probably a blasted time limit," she muttered. James smiled. That had been a possibility, but they had scrapped it after figuring out it would be too tiring to re-start it again so often. "Well, show yourself!" The map stayed stubbornly blank. Lily frowned at it, while James was at the top of his stairs, smiling. "I, Lily Evans, command you to show yourself!" she said with a bit more confidence. She smiled as the parchment became filled with writing she dimly recognized.

_Mr. Moony would like to apologize to Ms. Lily Evans for being denied access, but it really is none of her damn business._

Lily stared at the writing. Just as she was close to finding where she had seen it before, more writing appeared.

_Mr. Prongs would like to comment on how beautiful Ms. Lily Evans looks today, and wonders if she might be interested in a date with Mr. James Potter?_

Again, that familiar handwriting, only it was different from the first one. Where had she seen it before?

_Mr. Padfoot would like to point out that if the self-proclaimed genius of the class of 1977, Ms. Lily Evans, couldn't figure this out, then there's someone in this school cleverer than her, obviously._

"I have never said I'm a genius!" Lily said, staring at the writing with narrowed eyes. James had rested his head on the railing and was staring at the floor, trying hard not to burst out laughing.

_Mr. Wormtail agrees with Mr. Padfoot and would like to point out that those people may just be us, probably._

Lily was staring at the map, her mind working quickly. "So this would be another prank, wouldn't it?" she said to herself. Her fingers ran over the curly writing of Mr. Prongs. "If only, Prongs. If only."

James relaxed and leaned his head against a nearby wall. It's settled, then. He had to make them angry. He had to get Lily and Sirius and Remus and Peter so angry with him so they won't talk to him anymore. _Well,_ he thought with a dry smile, _Lily shouldn't be too hard to do. _They wouldn't just let him go. His friends wouldn't see his point. They'd think the danger made it better.

"What do you think of James Potter?" Lily asked the map, amusement on every syllable. Once again, curly writing appeared.

_Mr. Moony thinks that Mr. James Potter is the best friend anyone could ever have._

_Mr. Prongs thinks that Mr. James Potter is extremely good-looking and exceptionally talented._

_Mr. Padfoot adds that Mr. James Potter is one of the greatest pranksters Hogwarts has ever seen._

_Mr. Wormtail would also like to add that Mr. James Potter is an exceptional Quiddich player._

Lily laughed. James smiled at her laughter, even if it was at his own expense. She raised her wand again. "Can this map see into the future?" She was having, for the first time in a long while, _fun_!

_Mr. Moony regrets to inform you that this map is, in fact, tightly connected to the present and will remain so, under any circumstances._

_Mr. Prongs, however, would like to venture the prediction that Ms. Lily Evans will, one day, say "Yes!" to Mr. James Potter._

_Mr. Padfoot would like to comment that Mr. Prongs is not making a prediction, but instead describing a dream that's as attainable as this map is a liar._

_Mr. Wormtail would like to clear up the fact that the map never lies, so you can now fully appreciate the comparison made my Mr. Padfoot._

Lily was laughing fully now, enjoying herself. James was frowning slightly at the response the map gave. He'd have to have a chat with Sirius about that. He got up and raised his wand. She was getting close.

"How does this map work, anyway?" she asked. James pointed his wand at the map and said "_Accio Marauder's Map!_" It zoomed out of Lily's fingers just as the words were starting to form. She turned, saw James at the top of the stairs, and pretended as if nothing had happened. She stood up, gathered her things and went in her room without acknowledging him at all. James glanced down at the map.

_Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs would like to invite you to the world of Hogwarts, seen through the eyes of four pranksters. Come view the Marauder's Map and just say, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good!" to view pure genius at work. Glad to see you have figured out it's a map, you are now one step closer to achieving all your mischief safely. To wipe, just say, "Mischief managed."_

James bounded down the stairs and grabbed his cloak. With one last look at Lily's door, he went back up the steps only to descend again, going into the Gryffindor Common Room.


	21. Close Calls

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

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_Sins of Angels: Thanks to all reviewers! I'll keep my chapters the same length and keep the updates coming as soon as I can! Also, I will try to make them longer too, but it's likely it won't work. Anyway, enjoy!_

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Chapter 21 – Close Calls 

James entered the Common Room, and noticed that Sirius and Peter weren't there. He frowned and went up to their dormitory. When he opened the door, Sirius and peter were nowhere to be found. A note was left under a cup on the dresser closest to Remus's bed.

"James," he read aloud to himself. "We've gone to help Remus. Keep Evans away from the forbidden forest tonight, will you? Sirius."

James frowned and glanced out the window. Remus and Madame Pomfrey were walking across the grounds to the Whomping Willow. Sure enough, hiding in a bush you'd only spot if you knew where to look, a black dog and a rat were waiting.

"Blast it, Sirius, can't you use your bloody head for once?" James muttered. He put the note back down and decided to wait until they went in the shack. It was difficult to say how Sirius would pull it off, let alone how he would hold off Remus by himself. _He can't, you fool! Your best friends are going to tear themselves to shreds!_

_Maybe they're just going to stay in the shack? _Another voice in his head said, popping up. It sounded more hopeful. James liked this voice better.

_Right, and that was just a friendly reminder. Face it, they're luring him out._

_They can't by themselves. Surely they won't be that stupid._

_Wasn't that what you had said when Sirius told you Snape was going to get bitten?_

James frowned. He really didn't like that voice. Remus was inside, and now they were only waiting another couple of minutes before following. A thought struck him. How was he going to get through without Peter? He couldn't. He didn't have time for invisibility cloaks. Turning around, he ran to his room. He grabbed his broomstick, opened his window, and jumped. The knock Lily made was only heard by the empty room. She waited a while before she gave up, missing to see him land in the bush with Sirius and Peter.

"OW! Watch it, Prongs!" Sirius yelled after James landed on him. Both he and Peter had transformed. "Glad to see you made it," he added, grinning.

James sighed. "Don't tell me you planned this, Padfoot."

Sirius frowned. "Don't yell at me, James. You love our little strolls in the forest. I know you do."

"No, Sirius, we can't do it. It's too dangerous. Evans is right, Sirius. We've been fools all along."

"Evans, James? Evans doesn't even like you, and you're willing to put her before your friends?"

"Does Remus know you're planning this?"

Sirius didn't answer. "He would thank us," he said, finally.

"No, Padfoot, he wouldn't. And how do you plan to get him out without him catching you anyway. Peter can't restrain him until you get a head start, can he?"

"That's where you come in, Prongs. Or, at least, that's where you would have."

"I'm not doing this, Sirius. We've been tempting fate way too long. Our luck will run out."

Sirius looked at him, his eyes big and disbelieving. "Sorry, mate," he said and ran for it, transforming. Peter was already at the tree, his paw pressed to paralyze it. Sirius dove into the opening and Peter followed.

"Damn it, Sirius, you're going to your death!" James yelled after him. Only a moment passed as he decided what to do. He transformed, running at the tree. He was almost at the hole when–

The yelp he made carried across the grounds as the stag was flung to the wall by the tree. James scrambled to get out of the way, but the Whomping Willow had already lost interest in him. However, Lily had appeared on the grounds. She rushed over to where he was, as the stag became a human again.

"Potter?" Lily said as she neared. Her voice took on a frightened quality as she whispered, "James?"

James looked at her. His eyes widened and he sprang up, looking around wildly. He grabbed Lily by the shoulders. "We must save them, Lily. Remus won't know what he's doing. They can't get him, Lily. Not without being killed. Help them, Lily! Help them!"

"James, are you okay? Help who?"

James turned to look at the tree. Lily understood.

"Black and Pettigrew? They went in there? What are they doing, James?"

James turned back to her, as if only realizing who she was. "Lily…run! Get back to the castle! If they manage to lure him out, you can't transform! Run! I'll stop them as they come out, but you have to get to a safe place!"

"They're luring him out, James?" she asked, terrified.

"They'll try to," he said quietly. "But all that might happen is Remus may rip Sirius to shreds."

Lily gave an involuntary gasp. "And what will you do, James?" she asked, fear clearly in her voice.

"I'll save him, Lily. I'll save all of them."

James gave her a brave smile and started to run right at the Whomping Willow. He transformed and hit the tree head on, managing to hit the magic spot as the tree stopped moving. As he went through the hole, Lily retreated back inside the castle. She reluctantly closed the main gates and stared out intently from a window. "Don't you dare die on me, James Potter," she whispered.

James was making his way through the tunnel as fast as he could. There wasn't room to turn around in here, and he wasn't in a position to transform into a mole, so he had to get to the shack before Sirius decided to top himself for the title of Stupidest Man on Earth. As he came up to the entrance of the Shrieking Shack, he found to his relief that Sirius and Peter were still there, waiting for Remus to finish changing.

The black dog that was Sirius barked at James's arrival and Peter squeaked with excitement. James shook his head, pointing his antlers at Sirius. The dog whimpered and his ears went to the side of his head. James just repeated his action. There was a moment when both of them wished they had the power to communicate telepathically. Sirius was the first to break and decided to go have the argument where they could do more than gestures. He bounded through James's legs and wagged his tail as the stag struggled to turn around. Peter, however, went in, deciding to keep Remus company no matter what Sirius and James decide. After James had turned around, he galloped down the passage as fast as he could, keeping his head down and his eyes on the dog. Sirius ran as fast as he could, to save time, and bounded through the hole. James just barely fit through it and then ran out of the way as the Whomping Willow sensed the disturbance. Lily watched from her window as the dog and the stag ran to a safe place and transformed back to themselves. She breathed a sigh of relief as it became evident that a werewolf was not following them.

"You become more like a child with every year you get older, Sirius!" James shouted as he wiped dirt from his face.

"Well excuse me, Mr. Abide-by-the-rules!" Sirius said roughly as he rubbed his hands together to get rid of the dried mud.

"Did it ever occur to you that those rules were set for the sole purpose of your safety?"

"Funny thing, Prongs, it never seemed to bother you before," Sirius muttered. James glared at him.

"Not to mention trying to lure Remus out all by yourself! That's suicide, Sirius!"

"Well, I didn't, did I?"

"Only because I got there in time!"

"Oh, yes, the great James Potter saved the day again!" Sirius said mockingly. "Do you get some kind of pleasure from abandoning your friends, James? Because that's what you're doing!"

"I am not abandoning them, I am saving your skin!"

"Sure, James, hide behind that. _You _tell Remus tomorrow we couldn't make his transformation less painful because suddenly delicate James Potter follows the rules!"

"Remus did fine without us this week!"

"Did he, James? Or maybe you were just too damn far away to her him scream?" Sirius asked, yelling it into James's face. James hesitated. "I swear, Prongs, that damn Head Boy badge has got you thinking like Evans!"

"Sirius, what you wanted to do tonight was madness! I had to stop you!"

"You know what you did, James?"

"Saved your damn life?"

"No, Prongs. You hurt your friends. You hurt them by not being there for them!"

"What are you going to do?" James yelled after Sirius as he headed to the Whomping Willow. Sirius laughed humorlessly.

"Don't worry. I'll just sit with him until dawn…Potter."

He transformed and bounded through the hole again. James turned and went inside the castle, leaning against the wall and exhaling deeply.

"Well," he said bitterly. "It's nice to know I have one less thing to do, now that I severed ties with…Black."

He started his long walk to his dormitory, pacing himself slowly. He rubbed his eyes as his steps echoed down the silent hallway. The windows cast a shadow from the light of the full moon shining through. James felt sure he'd throw up if he glanced at the bright satellite. Wordlessly, he entered the dorm, ignored Lily's smile and went up to his room, laying in his bed and cursing the world in general, himself in particular.


	22. Quidditch Practice

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I really appreciate it! Anyway, before people start yelling at me, I know for a fact that James Potter was, in the books, a Chaser, and that's according to J.K. Rowling, so I'll take her word for it. Just to clear it up, because I already had one person disbelieve me. Enjoy.

Chapter 22 – Quidditch Practice 

James walked to the Great Hall the next morning, tired from lack of sleep. He entered and passed right by the part of the table where Peter, Sirius, and a scratched up Remus were sitting.

"Look at that! Potter doesn't even have enough guts to bloody apologize, does he?" Sirius said loudly. People turned to stare as James closed his eyes and muttered under his breath. He could hear the muttering begin.

Remus looked sadly at James, and frowned at Sirius.

"I can see where he's coming from, Padfoot," Remus said. Both Sirius and Peter stared at him in disbelief.

"Remus, even I won't talk to him. It was horrible, what he did," Peter said.

"He left us, mate," Sirius said, with just the slightest hint of sadness. "He doesn't want us around anymore, anyone could see that."

"I won't deny he's been acting odd," Remus said, frowning. "But we can't just cut him off."

"Why not?" Sirius asked, shrugging.

Remus sighed. "What if he needs us now more than ever?"

Sirius shook his head. "James doesn't need anyone to solve his problems, Moony. Don't you remember, after Charlie's funeral? He never mentioned it again."

"He didn't cry either. Not a single tear," Peter said, shuddering.

"That still doesn't mean that we should assume he doesn't need help!" Remus said furiously. Sirius gestured to James, sitting alone at the end of the row.

"You go talk to him, then," Sirius said. Remus stood up and went down to the end of the table.

"Hi, James," Remus said, taking a seat next to him. James didn't look up.

Blast! Remus still wants to talk to me. I have to now…I absolutely have no choice. I'm doing the right thing, I know it! It's going to save him. It'll save them all.

"James?" Remus said, trying again to get his friend's attention. Instead James shut his eyes and leaned closer to his plate.

"Get away from me, werewolf," James said, loud enough for only Remus to hear.

"Prongs, what are you doing?" Remus asked softly. James turned his eyes on him, full of hatred.

"I said, GO AWAY!" he yelled. Remus jumped back. "It was a mistake, becoming friends with someone like you!" James said. Remus gave him a look of disbelief. James realized how much he had hurt his best friends this week as the young boy he couldn't bring himself to call Moony anymore went back to his seat with Sirius and Peter.

James took his bag and rushed off, going out of a different door rather than walking near Remus and the others again. He brushed shoulders with someone, sending them into a spin from the sheer force of his speed.

"Hey! Watch it!" came Lily's voice. She realized who had done it. "James? James, wait!" she yelled and started to run after him. James quickened his pace and ran into a room, shutting the door and locking it with every enchantment he could. He put his bag on the desk and sat down, his face in his hands.

"Forgive me, Remus," he mumbled. "Forgive my actions. I'm sorry, Remus. I'm really sorry."

He started rocking back and forth, his voice cracking. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I'm sorry I'm betraying my friends. I'm sorry I'm being such a prick. I'm sorry."

Determined to finish, as if this would turn back time and make everything okay, James kept going. "I'm so sorry Peter. I'm sorry I got so angry at you for something I'm doing now, when you weren't doing it at all. You don't deserve bad friends like me guys. You all deserve better. Much, much better. Perhaps you'll find someone else to call Prongs. Perhaps my void, however small, will be filled by tomorrow."

Lily knocked on the door, seeing if he was in there. _He must be, where else could he have gone?_

"I'm sorry Lily," James said, turning his eyes on the door. "I'm sorry that I'm saying no. I'm sorry that the one time you want me to ask you out, I can't. I'm sorry you have to suffer. I know how much it hurts, Lily. I know what you feel. And I hate being the one to make you feel like this. I hate that you said the three words I've been waiting for for six years, and I didn't do anything. It's for the best, Lily. It's for the best."

Lily's shadow under the door left. James looked at his watch and realized that Quiddich practice starts in half an hour. He got up, gaining his self-composure quickly. After all, he still had one more thing to do before the day ended. But it could wait. Now it was time for Quidditch. He went to his dorm, grabbed his broom and uniform and went to the changing rooms to get ready. He went out onto the field and soon, the whole Gryffindor Quidditch team was there. Looking over his team, James smiled at them, hoping none of them would notice what a bad smile it was. Sirius was at the end of the row, grumbling, and Remus was next to him, staring at the ground. James cast them both worried looks. Apologizing to an empty room hadn't made things any better. He did not like the idea of giving each of his two, for want of a better word, friends their beater's bats. He had the frightening suspicion they'd want to aim Bludgers at him. _Probably not that far from the truth, _he thought bitterly.

"Well, team, first practice of the season," James tried to say brightly. Instead, it came out like he was worried. "I know how much all of you want to win the Quidditch Cup _again _this year, so practice we must!"

A boy on the team raised a hand. He was the sixth-year keeper, Frank Longbottom, and he was trembling. "Out of curiosity, James, everything all right?" he asked timidly.

James smiled, again, not very well. "Everything's fine, Frank. We have a practice to run, don't we? Let's start with some flying drills, hold off on getting the balls and all." _And bats, _he added mentally. _Hold off on giving Sirius and Remus bats._

James kicked off the ground and the rest of them followed. A rush of wind was felt as Remus flew at high speed to close to James, an a cut appeared on his sleeve as Sirius actually grazed him. James closed his eyes and begged himself to calm down.

"Right. I want five laps around the field as I go get the chest with the balls. Get to it!"

They zoomed off and James went in the changing room, taking out his wand to levitate the chest to the pitch. He grabbed the two bats and put them down next to the box. He sighed as he composed himself, hoping that Sirius and Remus wouldn't talk to him at all in the next two hours.

"Right! Black, Lupin, come get your bats!" James yelled. Two brooms separated from the others and went down, their owners dismounting and moving towards James. Sirius came and scowled as he snatched the bat out of James's hand and went back on his broom, soaring away. James flinched as he distinctly heard him grumble swear words at him before lifting off. Remus was more polite, but James wished he wasn't.

"Thanks…Potter," Remus said, sadly using James's last name. He turned to go back up but paused and turned around again. "Look, James, whatever it is that's doing this to you, get rid of it. You're ruining your life."

Remus left, joining the team. James frowned. _I may be ruining my life, but it's saving yours that counts, Remus. I hope you'll understand, someday. I really do._

"Right, here come the Bludgers!" James yelled. He set them free. "Alice, the snitch!" he yelled to Alice Harriman, the seeker. "And Katie, Cass, the Quaffle is coming up!"

He released them all and then mounted his own broom, soaring high above the team to see everyone's position. Cassidy had already gotten the Quaffle past Frank once, and James smiled as he caught the big ball, thrown by Katie.

"Come on, James! You're a Chaser too, you know!" Katie yelled at him. James gave her a grin and sped towards the goal posts, doing the one thing that makes him forget everything else, flying. Flying straight at Frank, he suddenly dropped as if he were falling. As the team stared at him, he arched his arm and waited for the right moment. As the Quaffle left his hands, Frank soared to catch it in time, but missed by a foot. James grinned. He'd been wanting to do that all summer. He turned around to be greeted by cheering and…a Bludger? It hit him in the face, cracking his nose. Above him he could make out Sirius's voice going "Oops! Sorry, Potter!"

James didn't blame him. After all, it's what he would have done. He reached up and winced as he cracked his nose back into place. Cassidy had started to hit Sirius, who was cowering from her.

"You stupid git!" she was yelling between punches. "Your job is to keep those things away from us, not hit them towards us, you prat! How James ever let you on the team is beyond me!"

"Look at it this way," Sirius said, covering his face with his arms as Cassidy's onslaught ensued. "At least you know I have good aim!"

"That's the only thing you're good for, Sirius Black!" Cassidy yelled and flew off, scooping the Quaffle from where it fell on the ground. She stopped next to James. "You okay, James?"

"Yeah, Cass, I'm fine," James said and smiled. "Well, he does have good aim."

Cassidy shook her head, smiling. "I have yet to figure out how your head works, James Potter. And I fear I may never know."

"It's okay, you're probably better off."

With another laugh, she handed him the ball. " Your turn again, James. That was some trick you pulled there."

"You liked it?" James asked. Cass smiled.

"It took skill, so of course I liked it. Now get back to showing off, captain."

"Cassidy?" James said. She turned back around.

"What is it?" she asked with a puzzled look on her face.

"I just need to talk to you later. Don't leave until I do, okay?"

Cassidy nodded. She flew back up, with James on her heels.

"Let's try that again, shall we?" James said without so much as a glance in Sirius's direction. He took the Quaffle and threw it to Katie, who was halfway down the Quiddich pitch. "This time I'll try to stop you!"

"Okay!" Katie said. She sped off towards the stands and James sped after her. He caught up to her and grinned. Just as he was getting ready to push her into the stands, two things happened. The first was that she dived. The second was the Bludger that caught him in the side and winded him. Katie scored, turned around, realized what had happened, and started chasing a grinning Sirius around the pitch. "I can't believe you did that again!" she yelled as she struggled to overtake him.

"What now, Katie?" Sirius yelled back. "He was on the opposite team! It's my _job_ to hit them!"

"He's right, Katie," James said, holding the Quaffle. Katie stopped her chase. "Okay, you and Cass gang up on me now."

The two girls nodded. He flew out to the middle of the pitch and smiled as they charged at him. The two girls did a loop and took either sides of him as he tried to outrun them. He clung to the Quaffle and cursed under his breath as he noticed that Sirius was about to hit another Bludger. He smiled as he saw the Bludger fly off to the sky, but as he turned back to the goalposts, his vision was immediately filled with a…a…bat? It hit his forehead and he stopped, dizzily rubbing the spot where it hit. The two girls kept going until they noticed his absence and looked back, to see him rubbing his head and Sirius diving after his bat. Before either of them could make a move, Alice beat them to it.

"Stop doing that, you insufferable git!" Alice said, smacking Sirius on the back of the head. He grinned at her.

"It slipped!"

"Sirius Black, there's no way in hell that bat just "slipped" into James's face!"

"Look, I didn't mean to hit him…in the face."

Alice narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm taking your bat away!"

"You can't do that!" Sirius said indignantly. "She can't do that!" he repeated, turning to the others. "Potter, tell me she can't do that!"

James fuzzily looked down at the three Siriuses looking back at him expectantly.

"I…I'm dizzy," he concluded. Remus tried to hide a smile and Frank chuckled. "Practice is over," he said and gently floated down to the bottom. He unsteadily got off his broom.

"I've got the snitch anyway," Alice said, showing him the ball. James looked at it, unfocused.

"Right. Bloody good job, Alice! I suspect we'll win next month!"

"James, mate, why don't you just go to the changing rooms. I'll get everything," Frank said. James smiled at him.

"Frank, you're a good…person," he said, giving off the impression he's drunk. He swayed slightly as he went back to the changing room, and Sirius allowed himself soft chuckles so that the team doesn't attack him again. Instead, everyone but Remus turned to glare at him.

"What?" he asked, acting dumb. Frank shook his head at him, but his grin suggested he had found the whole matter funny. Remus chuckled as the others passed them.

"Git," Katie said, glaring at Sirius.

"Prat," was Cassidy's remark.

"Prick," Alice said, walking away.

"Big vocabulary you three have, isn't it?" Sirius called after them. They turned to glare at him, but decided not to say anything.

"That was a rather amusing show, Sirius," Remus said from next to him. Sirius shot him a devilish grin.

"You think? That prick deserved it."

Remus chuckled. "I can't believe you managed to find some excuse every time you hit him."

"Well, he shouldn't have said those things to you. And he shouldn't have fought with me. He's being very stubborn, Moony."

"Know what, Sirius? I think you miss him already."

Sirius laughed softly as he started for the changing rooms. "Maybe I managed to knock some sense into him."

Remus laughed as they entered. They changed with the rest of the team and were the first to leave. One by one, they all left, except for Cassidy and James.

"James, what did you want to talk about?" she asked worriedly.

James fixed Cassidy with an unstable stare. Then he remembered and his mind became clear. He smiled. "I need you to do me a favor. It concerns Lily Evans."


	23. Another Round of Apologies

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: Well, I'm very happy with all the theories and speculations people have since my last chapter. I love making people think! Anyway, here is another chapter that finishes off what I presume to be the fifth day at Hogwarts for Lily and James since this fic started. Weird, I know. Anyway, thank you to everyone who took the time to review, you really can't imagine how happy I get when you do! And as an answer to a question asked more than once, I LOVE long reviews. I also love short reviews. Actually, I just love anytime someone takes the time to let me know what he or she thought. As I said, I get a warm, fuzzy feeling inside that's all nice and pleasant and stuff. Anyway, on with the show. Enjoy.

Chapter 23 – Another Round of Apologies 

James smiled encouragingly. "Now, look, you may not want to do it and I understand, but I just…I have to do this."

"Have to do what? What are you going on about, James?" Cassidy asked, looking at him with concern.

James sighed. "Cassidy, I need you to do something for me. For about three weeks, I need you to tell Lily we're going out. Tell no one else, or you may get hurt. Not by me, but by…others. If Lily ever asks, you have to tell her I asked you out today after practice and you said yes. Don't tell anyone else. You're not in our classes, so it will be easy to keep this from her. Please? I just…I need you to do me this favor."

Cassidy was taken aback. She didn't speak for a while, thinking things over. "Why?"

James sighed. "Because it's too risky."

"You've been after her forever, James. Now that she's beginning to like you, you want to stay away?"

James nodded. "Look, there's people after me. I don't know why they are or what they want, only that they pose a danger to those close to me. That's why you must tell no one other than Lily. I don't want you getting hurt at all."

"That's why you and Sirius are fighting? And Remus too?"

James nodded. "Please, Cass? I wouldn't ask this of you if I thought you wouldn't be able to handle it. You're the only one I can come to."

Cassidy stood up. "I'll do it. But…are you sure you know what you're doing? I mean, maybe you're not doing the right thing."

"There's no right or wrong, Cass. There was only one choice."

"You know that's not true, James. There's always another way. Maybe you just don't want to find it."

"Well, thanks, Cass. It really means a lot."

Cassidy paused at the door. "James?"

"Yes?"

"Lily is a big girl. She can look after herself, if need be."

James shook his head. "I'm sorry to say that theory is wrong. I wish it wasn't, but Lily can't take care of herself against this. It's up to me to save her. That's why I'm doing this. Thank you, Cassidy."

"No problem, James. I suppose you have your reasons for doing things this way."

"Just remember, only tell Lily."

"Right. See you around, James."

"See you," James said and started changing. He rubbed his head and his nose, and pointed his wand at both of them in turn. The pain and visible trauma went away and he put his wand down and soon left the changing rooms. Remus and Sirius were waiting, leaning against the wall on either side of the door.

"Potter," Sirius said, nodding to him. "We've been expecting you."

James looked from Sirius to Remus, who grinned.

"We need to have a talk, Potter. Just the three of us. Maybe…inside?" Sirius suggested and shoved James back through the door. He walked in and Remus followed as James carefully backed against a row of lockers.

"What's this about, Black?" James said with as much authority as he could muster. Sirius laughed.

"Trying to turn Head Boy on me, Potter? Using your authority badge?"

"Actually, I just want to know."

"You know what this is about, _James_. It's about you being an insufferable git! What is it with you lately? You act like you're doing us a favor by excluding us from everything! What the hell is going through your head, Prongs?" Sirius asked, a pleading tone to his voice. James hesitated. "I thought last night was bad…but then you exploded on Remus and you pretend to hate us!"

"I do hate you," James said, not convincingly at all. "I have to be going. I have," he started and paused. He really didn't have anything to do. He'd done everything he could possibly think of. Sirius smiled at him.

"You don't have anything to do, Prongs. You just don't want to tell us what's wrong."

"It's none of your business now, Black. Why don't you go find someone else to fill the name "Prongs"? I'm not part of the Marauders anymore."

"Then I guess you won't be needing this anymore?" Remus asked, taking out the map. James made for it but stopped himself.

"No. I have no right to that," he concluded and walked past the two dumbstruck boys. "Practice in two weeks, same time," he said and left.

"He passed it by," Remus said, staring at the map.

"What are you doing, Prongs?" Sirius said sadly. "And why?"

"Sirius," Remus said, still staring at the map as if daring it to vanish. "He passed it by!"

Sirius put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "Just give it time, Remus. He'll come around…I hope."

James ran into the first unlocked door he found. He leaned against the door and stared into the empty room as thoughts raced through his head. He sank to the floor, back still on the door, a trembling heap of robes. He took off his glasses and used his other hand to press against his face as the tears he tried so hard to hold five minutes ago escaped.

"I'm sorry Sirius," he said, the tears forming a path down his cheeks. "I'm sorry about saying those things, I'm sorry."

He kept going, as if letting the empty room hear his apologies would somehow turn back time or make it better. Somewhere deep inside he knew neither of those things would happen, but he tried as he might to help matters along in that direction anyway. "I'm sorry Remus. I'm sorry I called you a…a werewolf like that. I'm sorry I said I hated you.

"I'm sorry Peter. So sorry I'm lying to all of you. It's for the best Peter, believe me. It's for the best.

"Lily…" he started but was interrupted as the door behind him opened a bit and then shut under his weight again.

"Please open," came a voice strained with sorrow on the other side of the door. James recognized it instantly. "I don't have time…open," she pleaded. James sprang up and away from the door, wiping his tears. Lily walked in and gently shut the door behind her. She leaned her forehead against the door and sighed deeply. "Thank you," she said to the door. James stepped forward and coughed politely. Lily turned towards him.

"Lily? Everything okay?"

Throwing her books down, Lily walked over to him, tears forming in her eyes. With one swift movement, she slapped him. He swayed as his cheek acquired a red handprint left by the love of his life. "You asked her out?" she said loudly. James realized what had happened. Lily had seen Cassidy. "You asked her bloody out?" she repeated. "What about what you said last night, James? About loving me? About me being the only one? Or was that, as I suspected, a load of crap? Because congratulations, Potter! I nearly fell in. I was almost caught! I believed you, for Merlin's sake! But, as I can see, I'm clearly not your type at all, am I? Oh, no, not at all. I doubt you ever even remotely liked me. What I do know, James Potter, what I'm sure of, is that _I_ hate _you_!"

She stormed out. James put a hand to his cheek, but it didn't stop the stinging sensation. _Blast it, James, you should go after her! _His heart screamed at him, but his feet stayed put. In his head he was clinging to that idea that it was the only way, no other choices.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he finished, looking at the askew door. "I'm sorry."


	24. Aftermath

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

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Sins of Angels: As usual, thanks to all reviewers! I do make an attempt as best I can to read the stories of my reviewers and basically anyone I know has read my story, but with parental controls and all, it can prove rather difficult. If you give me enough time I'll try my best to get to you, and I'm sorry I can't help what my parents let me see. Enjoy.

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Chapter 24 – Aftermath 

Days rolled by as James traveled by himself in the hallways. Lily avoided him as best she could, at most muttering "Hello," every now and then. Their nightly patrols were spent in complete silence except for their steps echoing down the hall. She would look to one side and he to the other, never sharing so much as a glance. But the Marauders were worse.

Sirius mumbled curses at him under his breath. More than once he had punched James and walked away without a word.

Peter, who had hitherto adorned James for six years, now avoided him and ran past if it ever seemed like they would come too close to each other.

Remus was, by far, the reason James hardly got any sleep. He didn't yell or fight, but instead he gave James pleading, puzzled looks from across the room and kept asking if there was any way he could help.

During Quidditch, Sirius had perfected "accidental" attacks to an exact art. James would frequently walk away with a black eye or a bloody lip, his Quidditch robes stained a deeper shade of red.

During the full moon, the grounds no longer echoed with the amusement of the four animals. It was silent. Sirius wasn't barking, Remus wasn't howling, and Peter's squeak was missing. Now, as James lay awake and stared out at the Whomping Willow with the full moon bathing the grounds in light, the silence was sickening. More than once, James had sprung up in his bed, thinking he had heard a bark. He knew it was only his imagination, but he still looked out the window every time.

A month and a half had passed since that disastrous first week of school. James had taken to going to the Room of Requirement frequently between classes and sitting down, mumbling to himself to calm down.

Then, on one not-so-special day, an owl landed in front of James. The letter it carried was stained with teardrops. James stiffened. His grip on the letter tightened as he looked out at the beautiful morning sunrise. Suddenly he felt a pain in his heart.

She loved mornings.

He got up and hurried past his old friends, who were reading a letter of their own, no doubt about the same thing. As he passed, Remus stood up and Sirius gave him a pitying look. They both called his name but all that did was quicken his pace. He managed to get to his dorm without anyone else stopping him. That was the other thing. People had begun to avoid him just because he and Sirius were having an argument.

He walked in and let his bag slide off his shoulder and hit the floor. He moved across the room as if in a dream and sat down in a chair, rereading his letter. His eyes filled with the all-too-familiar moisture of tears. He shut them, trying to use mind over matter and will them away.

The bathroom door opened and Lily was greeted by James, his face in his hands. She stopped. Something wasn't quite right.

Let her pass. Just, please, let her pass.

"Potter?" Lily said. James didn't move. "James?" Lily tried. Something was definitely wrong. "James, are you okay?"

James lifted his head. At the sight of Lily, he burst into tears. Lily moved closer and hugged him, letting him cry on her shoulder. Memories of that day over a month ago came flooding back, when he had cried because he couldn't protect her.

"She died," James mumbled. Lily tightened her hug. "She died. She left me and died…"

"Cassidy?" Lily asked, thinking something horrible has happened. James looked at her, his tears stopping to flow.

"No, Lily, not Cassidy. She's fine," James said with a look of disbelief in his eyes, like what Lily asked was extremely offending.

"Who, James?" Lily asked, concerned. James pushed her away.

"My mom, Evans. It was my mom," he said, getting up.

"James…" Lily started, making towards him.

"You hate me, Evans, remember?" James said coldly.

"James…I…"

"I don't need your pity!" James yelled. Lily stopped dead in her tracks. "I'm fine, Evans!"

"James, I know how you feel," Lily said, trying to help. James spoke again, quietly. His voice was cracking.

"Do you, Evans? Do you know what it's like to lose the only person you can talk to?"

"You have friends, James. If you'd only let them help. And yes, I do know! They were taken from me this summer!"

James scoffed. "Voldemort…hah! My mom died of a stroke! We can use magic all we want and make all these potions but we can't help a forty-five year old woman who didn't deserve to die!"

"No one deserves to die," Lily said quietly.

"If only the world worked like that, Evans. You know why she couldn't be saved? Because me father came home three hours late again and found her! She'd been there, on the floor, for two hours! My bastard father worked late again, and, ironically, that's what killed her."

"It's not your father's fault."

"Shut up, Evans!" James roared. Lily jumped at his anger. "Just shut up! You don't know anything about me. Evans!"

"I know you're torturing yourself, James! I know you think you're doing everyone a favor, but you're not!" Lily yelled back.

"Not doing them a favor, Evans? I'm saving their bloody lives! That's not doing them a _favor_?"

"You're hiding behind that and you know it!"

"I'm doing you all a favor! No one wants to be friends with a nutcase like me anyway!"

"If you really believe that, James, You don't know your friends that well at all!"

"I have to protect you, Lily!" James yelled, but this time out of despair. "No matter what."

Lily looked at him as realization dawned on her. "You never went out with Cassidy, did you?"

James hesitated only for a moment, but that's all the time Lily needed.

"You didn't. You thought it would help, didn't you?"

"Well, it did! You weren't attacked again, were you?"

"James, do you know how much that hurt me," Lily said sadly. "I love you, James. It took me six years to figure it out, but I did. You were there for me when I needed you the most and you helped me more than anyone else ever could. And right after I realized what I'm feeling, you said we couldn't be together. You never answered me either…do you love me, James?"

James came up to her and put his forehead against hers, staring into her emerald eyes. He put his hands on the side of her face lightly and she smiled. He realizes what he had to do.

"No," he said softly, taking all of his strength to do so. He hoped it was at least mildly convincing.

Tears welled up in Lily's eyes. James closed his and put his hands down at his side, trying to keep from blurting out the truth. He felt her move and he opened his eyes.

Lily looked at him, the threat of tears stopping. She took his hands lightly and kissed him.


	25. Studies of the Human Heart

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: Sorry this is a tad bit on the short side…my creativity stopped flowing and it seemed like a good place to end it. Anyway, thanks to all reviewers and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Hehe…what happened to my oath not to have many author's notes…ah, oh well, I suppose it really doesn't make much difference. Enjoy.

Chapter 25 – Studies of the Human Heart 

James cherished the feel of her lips on his, falling into the bliss that he had felt every time she looked at him. It put him in mind of falling in love all over, but he was already so deeply in love there was no possible way to go any deeper. Her aroma traveled to him and put him in mind of joy, something he hadn't felt in a long time. Her lips lightly touched his, creating just enough pressure to demonstrate how gentle she can be…when she isn't yelling at him. When she stopped kissing him and looked up into his eyes, all he wanted to do was just to take her into his arms and kiss her again.

Lily smiled faintly at him, exploding with happiness. It was ridiculous how much joy a little kiss could cause. Her heart raced as his hands traveled around to her back and he pressed her close to him. Her hands traveled to the top of his shoulders and played softly with his hair. He smiled at her. Leaning in, he kissed her again, sending goose bumps all over her body.

"God, I love you," he said softly, leaning his forehead against hers again and closing her eyes. She leaned in to whisper into his ear.

"I love you too."

"Do you?" he asked, his eyes still closed. "Are you sure you can love someone who's such an idiot, Lily?"

"Well, glad to see you've smartened up," Lily said, smiling. James laughed softly.

"It only took me over a month."

"Better late than never, I guess. At least now you won't get pummeled in Quidditch."

"Yes, Sirius does seem to have a pretty good aim. Lily," James said, looking straight into her eyes, a worried expression on his face. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to make you feel like I've been feeling these past six years."

"It was horrible, James," Lily said, looking at him with sorrow in her eyes. "I'm horrible. You've felt like that for that long? I could hardly bear it this past month."

"I'm sorry, Lily," he said, hugging her tightly. "I never want to hurt you. Never."

"I know, James," Lily said, hugging him tighter. "I know."

James smiled. "When did you know?" he asked.

"Know what?" Lily asked in turn, confused.

"That you loved me."

"The second night back…I didn't recognize it at first, I mean, how could I? But that night, when you came out of the shower…it was really hard to ignore this strange feeling."

James smiled at her. It felt as if he was making up for a month and a half of misery all at once, joy surging through him. " I saw it, you know. In your eyes. It was a warm glow, unmistakable."

Lily smiled and turned a light shade of pink. "Well, James Potter, when did you first know?"

James smiled again and led them to a couch. "Mine's a rather long story."

Lily smiled. "It's Sunday. We have lots of time."

"Well, you must remember our first meeting, surely," he said. Lily nodded.

"You and Sirius made fun of me for being so fascinated by a simple broom," she recalled, frowning slightly. James laughed softly and hugged her gently.

"Well, yes, we did. It was quite weird, in fact, to see someone with their nose pressed against the glass case for a Cleansweep. Sirius smiled devilishly, as is his specialty, and walked over to you, casually pushing you. You stumbled, but much to his dismay, you didn't fall. I hate to admit that it was a major disappointment to him.

"Well, I walked over and I expected to see just another girl. What I saw was an angel. Your hair was sprawled over your face and you were frowning at Sirius. And all I could think of was "Wow! Who in the world is she?" That's when I fell in love, Lily. That's when I first felt cupid's arrow.

"Now, of course, I didn't realize it. I mean, I was only eleven. Girls were still just other people who had longer hair. Granted," James said, laughing. "When Sirius grew his hair out that philosophy went out the window. But I first realized it in our third year. It was quite unnerving to realize you were thirteen and could feel so much for a person of the opposite sex. It was even more unnerving to notice that this feeling has been going on since the day we met. But the worst part, by far, was that you hated me. Because of all the stupid pranks me and Sirius pulled on people over the years, I felt any chances I had with you were ruined. So I decided to make myself the "height of cool", which was the worst plan I've ever come up with. If anything, it made you hate me even more. But, gladly, that's in the past…and everything worked out okay."

Lily smiled as he gently kissed her cheek. "I love you, James," she whispered.

"I love you too."

A knock on the door was heard, and as Lily and James made for it there was a very hurried and whispered argument on the other side.

"_What the hell did you do that for, Moony?"_

"_How do you propose to get in, then?"_

"_He won't let us in! I can't believe you just came up to the door and knocked! You're mental!"_

"_Shut up, Padfoot. If you don't want to be here, you can leave."_

"_Look, we all want to help…don't we? I mean, I do. This isn't something he should do by himself."_

"_I agree with Peter. So I guess if you don't want to be here, you're free to leave."_

"_I never said I didn't want to help…just…what if he wants to be left alone?"_

"_Then we'll leave him alone after letting him know we're here for him, that's all. Come on, Padfoot, it really isn't that big of a deal. He was probably thinking he was helping us in some way."_

"_I should've hit him harder…"_

Lily opened the door. "Hello," she said. James looked over her shoulder at a smiling Remus, an avoiding-his-eyes Sirius and an encouraging Peter. "Come in."


	26. Coming Home

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: Okay, I know this may, again, not be as long as you expected. But I haven't posted anything in a long while and, seeing as I have SAT2 next week in Chemistry and Math, finals in Chemistry, Calculus 2 and Psychology (but, with any luck, not Physics) to study for, needless to say I may not necessarily be physically able to get on my computer and update for about two weeks. I will make every effort to do so, but I cannot make any promises. If I can, I will update. If I can't…well, I think passing high school qualifies as a slightly bigger priority than posting the next chapter, but only just. I really am sorry about this, but sometimes life isn't what you want it to be. Anyway, enjoy. Thanks to all reviewers! You guys rock!

* * *

Chapter 26 – Coming Home 

"Hello," James said brightly as his friends walked in.

Remus smiled at him again and Sirius just walked in and sat on the sofa. James frowned slightly. He hated to admit he was wrong.

"Look, I'm really sorry I did that to you guys," James said. Sirius looked up at him. "You didn't deserve it at all. I acted like a total prick and I deserved every hit you gave me, Sirius. And then some."

Sirius got up and walked up to James. The room got quiet, everyone well aware this is a very important moment. It decided how many black eyes the two boys would have. After a moment of the two boys staring at each other, their faces determined, Sirius pulled James into a brotherly hug. "Welcome back, Prongs," he said quietly. James smiled at his friend, who smiled back.

And that was it. It was like the last month and a half never happened. The four boys started planning pranks again, but this time they were not as risky as before. All but one. And that one was saved for last.

Of course, added to the mix was James dating Lily. He had taken her to the Room of Requirement for their first date, where he proved to her once and for all just how romantic he was.

Quidditch, as you might guess, was going great for the Gryffindor team. That is, now that their captain was not being knocked unconscious every practice. Their first two matches had been won with two hundred points to spare.

Surprisingly, Lily, who had never shown much passion for the sport beyond an occasional attendance at the games, was present at all of them now, intently following the plays and listening to the commentator. James had been very happy with this development, as she had taken to waiting for him to get out of the changing rooms and congratulating him with a kiss every time he won. His imagination ran away with him every time he thought about the day he would walk out with the Quidditch Cup in his hands.

Halloween had passed without events, surprisingly. But security was tightening. James couldn't help the feeling that Dumbledore knew what had happened to Lily. Every time he looked into those twinkling blue eyes, he was sure he knew. But he couldn't. James was pretty good to keeping his thoughts to himself. But, then again, he didn't have the experience that came with age. That was something he couldn't help.

So when Christmas came close and the vacation started, James thought he would make what seemed to be a perfectly reasonable offer. Apparently, the case was not so.

"Spend it with your dad?" Lily said, sitting down. James frowned slightly. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

But things never go the way they're supposed to. It's a law.

"But I'd always spent Christmas with my parents."

Ah. Oh, bugger.

"But I can't this year, can I?"

"Lily, I'm sorry I asked. Maybe you should go spend it with your sister."

Lily shook her head slightly. "No, I'd love to spend it with you. Only, can we please go and see her? So I can give her the presents I bought. She's family, after all."

"Yeah," James said and hugged her. "Of course we can. I'd be happy to finally meet your sister."

Lily smiled at him meekly. "Wish you could've met my dad. He would have liked you."

"I'm sure I would've liked him too."

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

James smiled. He'd never, ever have enough of that phrase. "I love you too, Lily. So much."

Lily smiled as he hugged her tighter. She kissed the hand that was nearest her face. He smiled at her. She only tightened her grip on his arm.

So they got on the carriages pulled by the creatures Lily was now learning to despise. Which wasn't at all fair to them, and she knew it. In fact, she felt horrible about the whole thing, but she couldn't help it. So, instead, she opened up her book and finished her homework and James was doing. Neither of them wanted to be stuck with schoolwork over the holidays.

"My dad will appreciate you coming, you know. It'll mean a lot to him," James said as he was unloading their luggage off of the Knight Bus. She turned to face James's house, his dad standing at the front door and smiling at them. She smiled back and waved as he magically zoomed their luggage into the house.

"I can't wait to meet him!" Lily said, smiled, and grabbed James by the hand, happily pulling him to his father's welcoming face.

"Hello James," his father said, shaking his son's hand and smiling. "And this beautiful charming lady must be Lily Evans. Pleased to meet you."

"Again," Lily said and smiled as she shook her hand. He had been politely avoiding the subject but she needed to let him know it was okay.

"Again," he said and looked at her with what seemed to be admiration. He opened the door and hurried both of them in. "Well, James can show you around, and you'll be sleeping in the…the room across from his. Your bags are already there."

"Actually, Lily and I were going to visit her sister first, if that's alright with you."

"Fine, son. Just fine. I'll be here. It'll be a while before dinner anyway."

James smiled and took Lily back to the curb, where he again signaled the Knight Bus. He climbed aboard and smiled at the conductor, Stan. He'd shown them pictures of this four-year-old son on the way to his house, and had inventively named the boy Stan. James just told him where to go, just a block away from Lily's sister's house. They were soon there and walked to the house, which looked new. Lily knocked and what James assumed to be her sister answered. He'd caught a few glimpses of her at the platform, but she had grown. Her eyes swiveled to them both and she hurriedly opened the door.

"Get in!" she whispered. Lily obliged, and so did James. She shut the door behind them quickly. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Lily? You're not even dressed properly!"

"Hello Petunia," Lily said wearily, taking off her shoes.

Petunia crossed her hands. "Hello sister," she muttered, without the smallest trace of love.


	27. Sisterly Love

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: I know this is short. But, well, I really didn't feel like not updating because, quite frankly, I felt like I was letting everyone who took time to review this story down. So think of this as the reason I will eventually ace my creative writing final! And, as always, thanks to all reviewers, you guys made my day!

* * *

Chapter 27 – Sisterly Love 

"Having a good holiday, yes?" Lily said, politely looking around the narrow hallway.

"It was," Petunia muttered and sighed. "Well, I suppose I really don't have a choice, do I? Come in, why don't you? Make yourselves comfortable."

"That's my sister, always the entertainer," Lily said and smiled.

"Yes, well, someone ought to have learned from mum."

Lily didn't say anything again until the tea was brought out.

"And I suppose you're a friend of hers?" Petunia asked James.

"Yes," James said, smiling.

"Oh, yes, this is James Potter," Lily said, turning a slight pink in forgetting. "We go to school together and have been, well, seeing each other for three months now."

"Wonderful," Petunia said off-handedly and looked out the window.

"Out of curiosity, Petunia, does your husband still think I do to military school?"

"What?" Petunia asked, turning back to her. "Oh, no, I told him. I daresay he won't be pleased when he finds you lot here."

Lily stood up. "I'm sorry, do you want us to leave?"

Petunia hesitated. She sighed heavily again. "No, I suppose it's proper to see each other now. At least finish your tea." She had taken to looking at James in a slightly calculating way while talking to Lily.

"Family time during the holidays, huh?" James said, if anything to stop her staring.

Petunia flashed a warning look at Lily and her gaze stayed there. "You aren't expecting me to offer you a place to stay, are you?"

"Would be rather nice, _sister_," Lily muttered.

"What was that?"

"No, we'll be staying at James's estate."

"Estate?" Petunia said and fixed James once again with that look. He squirmed under it, recognizing it on the faces of his adoring fan club members.

"Yes, my family is rather well off," James said, glancing at lily for help.

"His father helped when mum and dad…when…" Lily started before she realized she couldn't finish it.

"When they died. And I don't suppose you've wizened up and taken the blame for it yet?"

"Taken the blame?" Lily yelled, setting her cup down. "Taken the blame for what?"

"For being the _freak_ that you are, Lily! I can't believe no one else saw it! Well, now they're dead! The lot of them!"

"Adam is _not_ dead!"

"Then what is he? What did you do to my brother?" Petunia screamed, standing up.

"_I_ didn't do anything! It was a dementor that got him!"

"You didn't do anything, Lily! That's why they died!"

"You think I should've used my magic to stop it, Petunia? Then you'd be all alone!"

"Better than with a lunatic sister who thinks I'm going to believe the prison guards came after an eight-year-old!"

"The blasted guards are against us!"

"I will not have you yelling at me in my own house, Lily!" Petunia shrieked. Lily gave her a glare of disbelief at what had passed and walked out. James bounded after her, and Petunia just followed until she could see both of them put their shoes on. Lily opened the door and let James through, who said "Goodbye." She held the door open a little while longer, glaring at her sister.

"Happy bloody Christmas!" Lily yelled and slammed the door shut. Petunia jumped as her house shook.

"James Potter, eh? Always had to outdo me, Lily, didn't you?" Petunia muttered and went to wash the teacups. Outside, the Knight Bus came and loaded its two passengers. It promptly took off, convincing all muggles who saw it that it was perfectly normal for a purple bus to just vanish.


	28. The Black Family Values

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: Thanks to all reviewers! You guys rock! I get all happy and inspired! Yay! Finals done, SAT2 done, free time on my hands. Here's yet another chapter. They'll start coming sooner now (hopefully), but I also have other stories to write, so I'll do the best I can. Anyway, please review! Let me know if I'm doing good or bad! And, as always, enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 28 – The Black Family Values 

They entered the Potter house again, to see the James's dad had left them a note.

"Sorry about this, I've been called out. Make yourselves at home, I'll be back in an hour or so," James read, frowning slightly. He turned to Lily. "Well, what do you want to do?"

Lily looked around at the house. "I don't know. I suppose a little Christmas shopping wouldn't hurt."

"Really?" James asked, grinning at her.

"Not you, James," she said, smiling. "I've already got your gifts."

James grinned devilishly and dashed up the stairs.

"James Potter, don't you dare go in my trunk!" Lily yelled, climbing up after him.

"Or what, Lily-flower?" he said, grinning before he entered her room. She dashed in the door before he could close it. "So where might these gifts be?"

"You can wait like everyone else, James. It's only a couple of days."

He pouted and she laughed at him. She went to her trunk and opened it.

"I need to change now," she said, hoping he'd get the hint.

James walked over to the bed and sat down, smiling. "Don't let me stop you."

Lily grabbed the first thing she could, a rolled up pair of socks, and hurled it at James, who caught it in his hand.

"Why, Lily, I seem to be picking up on a faint feeling that you may want me to leave," James said, grinning at her. She laughed.

"That would be correct, yes. I'm going to be changing my clothes, James."

"All the more reason to stay, Lily, dear."

"James!" Lily said, and dragged him out of the room.

"So I suppose that's a no?" he asked as she shut the door in his face with a smile.

James wandered aimlessly down the stairs and was waiting by the fireplace with the floo powder as Lily came down.

"Shall we go?"

"Yes, I suppose we shall," Lily said with a smile.

They stepped into the green flames, and happily ended up in Flourish and Blott's.

* * *

The people at the table stiffened. One of them smiled.

"I told you they would come sooner or later."

"It's too open here. We'll get caught."

"Oh, don't be such a baby, cousin!" Bellatrix snapped. "We're not declaring war on them or anything."

"We're not? They may see it differently," Snape pointed out, scowling at the two Gryffindors. "An open threat on James Potter will be an act of war, Bella."

Bellatrix laughed. "And why are you worried about that, Severus. He's at war with you already. What do you have to lose?"

"What about my brother?" Regulus said quietly. The others turned to look at him.

"What about him?" Snape spat. "Might I remind you your so called brother not only left your family but also has made several attempts at hurting everyone at this table."

"Oh, get over you goddamn emotional scars, Snivellus!" Regulus snapped.

"Sounded an awful lot like Black there, Regulus," Malfoy said quietly. Snape was glaring at the boy.

"Really, Lucius? Guess what my last name is. Go on. I think you know it…it starts with a 'B'."

"Indeed," Malfoy said, not humoring him. "Are you sure you're in the right house?"

Regulus glared at him. "Are you sure you've got half a brain, Lucius? This place is anything but empty! What do you propose we do if someone from the Ministry overhears? We all have money, but it'll only get us so far."

"Stop worrying so much, cousin," Bellatrix said, sitting back in her chair.

"All I'm saying is, we waited this long. What's a couple of days more?"

"Everything!" Snape growled. "The new year's coming, Regulus! Or did you forget our orders?"

"Our orders? Are you sure they came from a reliable source, Lucius?"

"Reliable? They came from the Dark Lord!"

"And he said it directly to you?"

Malfoy hesitated.

"I thought so. That idiot Crabbe is just trying to get us in trouble. He needs quite a bit of help to stay on top. Like making sure he makes everyone else seems as stupid as he is."

Rodolphus snorted disgustedly. "That'll take quite a lot."

"So why are we hurrying to get caught by the ministry? The Dark Lord isn't ready to declare war yet."

"How do you know?" Bellatrix snapped.

"Just common sense, dear cousin. He's not immortal yet."

"And how do you know that?" Snape asked accusingly.

"Simple. He hasn't gone and killed anyone. Not since Charles Potter. And that was a special case. Damn kid got in over his head in knowing things he shouldn't."

"Like what?" Malfoy asked.

_Oh, shit! They haven't figured it out why he had to die yet! Damn it! James, you better be worth all the trouble I'm going through! I just hope you forgive me for that night first. I didn't fancy being yelled at by Sirius at all. _"Like something you'd have to ask the Dark Lord himself."

"And how do you know?" Bellatrix asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Common sense, Bella. It really is very easy to figure out. If you want me to, I'll tell you."

"No!" Snape said hurriedly. Regulus smiled.

_Ah, good, I judged them right. Damn arrogant bastards, all of them. Maybe this time their desire to know by themselves will be useful._

"Why not?" Bellatrix asked, frowning.

"Simple. If you can't figure it out, you don't deserve to know. The Dark Lord may punish all of us if we didn't go the long way. I expect it's some sort of a test."

_Right, a test. Sure. Good old Snivellus. Always works the best for his enemies._

"Well, then, I guess we'll hold off on our plan," Bellatrix said, sipping her milkshake.

"They've gone anyway. How are we with Pettigrew?" Malfoy asked, turning away from the spot where Lily and James had been.

"He's coming around. The slimy git only wants to be on the winning side. It's not hard to convince him of the good side that will come from joining us."

"Well, I should be going. I need to get something for Mum. Before she banishes me too."

"That was stupid of her. We might have had Sirius," Bellatrix said bitterly.

"No!" Snape said hastily. "Black would never come over to us. He's too close to Potter, and Potter to Dumbledore. Pettigrew would have to do. He'll be useful enough."

Regulus stood up and bade everyone goodbye. The Slytherins watched the commotion in Diagon Alley with little interest, their thoughts trying to get at what Regulus had found. Common sense hasn't come easy so far.

Sirius jumped as Regulus entered the shop.

"Well?" Sirius asked, closing the book he'd been pretending to read.

"I convinced them out of it, for now. I can't keep doing this Sirius. I know I owe you, but He will find out."

"No, you're done. Go back to being the idiot you are, Regulus. I imagine Mum's proud of her little future Death Eater son."

"Shut up, Sirius."

"Your choice, brother. If you change your mind, you know where to find me."

Sirius walked out, leaving a scowling Regulus. "If only you knew, Sirius. It's not quite that simple at all."


	29. The Potter Family Values

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: Thanks to all who reviewed! It made me all happy! Anyway, here's a chapter that may be rather surprising. I've actually planned to have a chapter like this since I started the story, so I'm sorry if you don't like it. But it happens, sometimes. I'd rather it didn't. You'd be surprised what we clever humans due in the aftermath of disasters. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 29 – The Potter Family Values 

James and Lily ate quietly, his father looking up and smiling every so often.

"Dad?" James said, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Are we having company over the holidays?"

His dad shifted uneasily. "Well, yes, on Christmas day."

"Who?" James asked, frowning. His father coughed, the smile gone.

"Well, you remember how every year the Blacks have come over for a little?"

"You invited them?" James asked, staring at his father in disbelief.

"Well, we've been doing it since you and Sirius were five, it's become tradition."

"Yes, tradition until they disowned Sirius!" James said angrily.

"Look, we can't judge them by that."

"Can't judge them by that? What the hell do we judge them by then? They threw out their son, Dad! Would you ever do that to me?"

His dad looked taken aback, frowning. "You know I would never do something like that!"

"And you've invited them here? What about Lily?"

Lily's head snapped up. How was she involved?

"What about her?" his dad said, now looking at her.

"Dad, she's muggle-born!"

His expression hardened. A dawn of understanding hit him. "I see," he said simply, almost coldly. "Of course. Well, that shouldn't matter."

"If it's a problem, I can leave," Lily suggested.

"No, you stay," James said firmly, turning his eyes on his father. They were filled with anger over something Lily didn't understand.

"Yes, Lily, you're our guest. You can't leave," James's dad said kindly, all traces of coldness gone. "It's just that the Black family is tad bit simple minded."

"You mean they're purebloods and don't want a mudblood wrecking their holiday?" Lily said without feeling. James looked at her, shocked.

"Lily Evans, don't ever talk about yourself like that in front of me!" he scolded. She frowned.

"Look, I know what some wizards are like. I'll take a room at the Leaky Cauldron and get out of your way."

"You will do no such thing!"

"It'll be better all around. I understand."

"You're staying here! And that's final!"

"So now I'm a prisoner? James, I know that my presence will make your guests uncomfortable."

"Well, good. With any luck they'd leave."

"James Potter!" his dad scolded. James turned a furious glare to him.

"What, Charles?"

"I am your father am _not _on a first name basis with you like one of your foolish friends!"

"Yeah, you're much more bloody stubborn than they are!"

"Watch your mouth!"

"They support Voldemort! He killed Charles! How could you let them into our house?"

"James," he said quietly to his son, who was standing up and yelling at him. "Let's not discuss this in front of our guest."

"She deserves to know! She should know how you lost yourself in your bloody job for the last six years!"

"James Potter, I am not discussing this right now! Sit down!"

"No! You have no right to invite them! They support Charles's murderer!"

"Charles wasn't killed by the Dark Lord!"

James paused. "Who killed him, father?" he asked, lowering the temperature in the room. "I see you've been reading the _Daily Prophet_. So then, _dad_, who killed him?"

"You didn't seem to have a problem with them before."

"Don't change the subject! Do you believe those lunatics in the Ministry? Half of them probably support him and thought he was right!"

"For the last time, your brother did not die at the hand of a dark wizard!"

"Then what happened? According to you, I mean?"

"He…had an accident."

"You've gone mental! Why will no one believe me?"

"Because you killed him!"

The silence that followed this was deafening. The color from James's face drained almost as fast as his father's. "What?" James asked, his voice trembling. His legs gave out as he sat heavily in his chair and stared at the table, not really seeing it.

"Look," his dad said, sighing and rubbing his eyes. "Your mother, she wouldn't hear a word about it at all, but…"

"Who have you been listening to?" James asked, his eyes focusing and his head turning sharply to look at his dad.

"With your mother gone, it just…things make more sense."

James started to breathe heavily. They were shallow breaths, more moving air in and out of his mouth than going to his lungs. "Like the _Prophet _articles? On how the Great Potter Estate and Legacy were to go to Charles, so I killed him? Out of jealousy?" he said slowly. "Is that it?" he yelled, staring back at his dad.

"James, you didn't mean it. I know you didn't. Accidental magic is very powerful. I don't blame you for covering it up."

"Listen to yourself! Who put these ideas in your head?"

"It makes sense, James. I don't blame you."

"You're pathetic!" James yelled, getting up again. "You can't deal with the fact that your perfect heir died and now you have to make due with me!"

"Charles deserved it! He deserved to take over!" he yelled at his son, standing as well. "He wanted to! He knew what to do! What do you know? Just your stupid pranks, right? Your bloody ways to make people laugh? A war is coming!"

"I know!" James roared. "I saw the first casualty, remember?"

"You saw nothing," his father said coldly.

"You've been talking to them, haven't you? The Blacks? You've been having them over?"

"What does that matter?" he snapped.

"Because they're the ones putting ideas in your head! Ideas like that! I was devastated when Charles died!"

"You didn't cry," his father said simply, fixing his eyes on his son's. "You didn't even show emotion. You were just there, out of formality."

"Didn't cry, dad? You know why? Mum told me to be strong for _you_! Mum said that I could cry when we got home! She said I should be strong so you'd look good in front of your friends!" James said, his anger turning into frustration. "Why did you even invite me home? If you think I'm a bloody murderer, why would you ask me to come to your house?"

"Because you're family!"

"I am NOT _family_! I'm your bloody son! Or have you forgotten?"

"Of course I haven't! But Charles was my son too."

"Then don't allow those pure-blood idiots to enter your house!"

"They're family friends!"

"You know why I never minded them, dad? Because Sirius would beg me to invite them over! He would be pleading to figure out a way to get him out of that house!"

"Well, he solved that, didn't he?" he said bitterly.

"You think he should have _stayed_?" James said, shaking his head, an ironic smile on his lips that had nothing funny about it. "You're mental! Mum goes and your brain went with her! I'm not spending another minute in this house!"

"Just as well," he said coldly. "I wouldn't want you to make our guests feel uncomfortable."

James stormed up the stairs and his father went to the fireplace and floo-ed away to the Ministry. Lily got up and, looking around her, sat back down.

_What do I do now?_


	30. The Pettigrew Family Values

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: Thanks to all who reviewed! Okay, this is my shortest chapter to date, but Peter is a character I really don't want to fully develop just yet. So here it is, my short chapter about him and his parents. Plus, I was going with the whole trend of naming all my chapters like this. I'm having fun with that. Enjoy.

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Chapter 30 – The Pettigrew Family Values 

Peter wasn't happy. For starters, it was the first Christmas he'd be spending alone.

Truly alone, that is. His parents had gone off again, his mother chasing after his father. So he was staying at the castle.

He'd been too stubborn to accept Remus's invite. Spending Christmas with his family was intruding, and he wouldn't want to do that.

Sirius had gone off to the Leaky Cauldron. He had told him that it would be boring and dull, he wouldn't really celebrate, and he had some business to do. In short, sorry, but no.

James had gone to his house with Lily. Well, Peter couldn't go with them, now could he? No. The Head Boy and Girl probably wanted some alone time. Not to mention Lily got to meet James's dad.

So all options were out. He had assured them all that he would be okay over the break. He'd take the time to study. He'd need that for N.E.W.T.s.

Which, of course, were pointless. At one point he did want to be an auror, if only because James and Sirius want to be one, and Remus as well. But they'd never take the werewolf once they found out. It was rather silly, how idealistic they were being.

But he hadn't said anything. After all, how could he? He was just the fat, blundering sidekick. Sounding smart would ruin everything.

It had been easy enough. He just acted like his father in classes, which meant that he failed on purpose for the treatment. He acted like his mother in the respect that he actually knew what was happening fairly well. But he'd be damned if he admitted to it.

So his dad had suggested, in his offhand way, that he should find the strongest pack and stick with them. So he did. Sirius, Remus, and James were the strongest pack.

His mother had said to make friends. He made three. She probably hadn't read his dad's letter. If she had, Peter wouldn't have seen it. Stick to the power group, he said. No matter what. They'll protect you.

Make friends was his mother's advice. Friends that will help you.

_Friends that will help me…_

The power group was changing. Peter could see it happen. And he needed to change with it.

Bellatrix was right. A new age was coming. And Peter didn't want to be swept up with the old one.

He liked James, Sirius, and Remus. They were nice guys. Good people. Great friends. Funny companions. But, after graduation, obsolete.

There were four of them. Voldemort had many, many more. It wasn't hard to see the clear winner. And who knows? Maybe he could join in with him and then also keep his three friends out of harm and away from his wrath. Maybe he'll save their lives.

_That would be nice. They've already done so much for me._


	31. The Lupin Family Values

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: Thanks to all reviewers! My parental controls are currently suspended (thank god), so I will try really hard to answer any questions you have when you review with a reply. If I don't, I'm really sorry, but something probably came up or I didn't have time, but I will try really hard to do so. Anyway, here is the last of the four chapters with basically the same name because I'm weird like that. Enjoy.

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Chapter 31 – The Lupin Family Values 

Remus Lupin sighed. His mother was just getting done hanging up the decorations on the wall. His father was smiling happily as he listened to the Christmas songs on the radio. Remus sighed again. This much holiday spirit should be outlawed. It was downright depressing.

"More hot chocolate, dear?" his mother asked enthusiastically and poured more in the cup without pausing for an answer. Remus smiled at her and looked back out the window.

He was the first to notice the Knight Bus stopping in front of his house. He bounded for the door and opened it just as James and Lily were coming up to it. James gave him a very apologetic grin.

"Hello, mate," he said sadly, dragging his trunk behind him. "Fancy a chat?"

Surprised, Remus looked at them. Then he smiled and let them in. They probably weren't as Christmas happy as his parents.

Actually, no one was as Christmas happy as his parents.

His mother brightened up. "Hello, James, dear," she said happily and then spotted Lily. "And who is this charming young lady?"

"This is Lily Evans, Mum," Remus said. "She was Prefect with me, remember?"

"Ah, yes, of course," his mother said and smiled at her visitors. Remus's dad glanced at them and smiled as well.

"Hello there, James!" he said. James smiled and greeted him. "So happy to see you've stopped by. Something wrong with your dad?"

"Well," James said, shifting slightly. "We had a little fight, that's all."

"Little? I see you've brought your trunks."

"Well, maybe not that little, no."

"I'll go make some more hot chocolate!" Mrs. Lupin said and got up. "Make yourselves at home, dears. Stay as long as you want."

"You're always welcome here, James. And that goes for you too, Ms. Evans."

"Thank you, sir," they both responded as Remus jumped with joy. Some normalcy, finally. He took Lily's trunk and carried it up to the guest rooms. James put his trunk in his room.

"Must be a big change, coming from the Potter Estate to this," Mrs. Lupin said quietly to Lily. Their house was small, much smaller than the one James lived in.

"No, no, my house used to be this size too," Lily reassured her, taking the hot chocolate.

"Used to be?" she said, oblivious to her son's frantic shaking of his head.

"Well, my parents, they passed away."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. This is great hot chocolate, by the way."

"Thank you," Mrs. Lupin said warmly. "You're welcome to stay here until school starts again, you know," she blurted out.

"Actually, we were thinking of going to the Leaky Cauldron, and keeping Sirius company there," James said, and then instantly regretted it.

"He's there? On Christmas? This simply will not do!" Mrs. Lupin said sharply. "You're all staying here. Jim, go fetch him. Don't take no for an answer!"

"On my way, dear," Mr. Lupin said, already walking to the fireplace.

"No, we were okay and all, we had money and everything," James said and then stopped at the look that Mrs. Lupin gave him.

"Nonsense! Christmas is not a time to be alone, or at some inn. You'll stay with us."

"But what about food?" James said, a tad bit uncomfortably.

"James Potter, Christmas is the one holiday I love to celebrate. Don't ruin it for me!" she said simply, and James shut up. "We just got done with the tree, so we were going to put our presents under there. Would you like to join us?"

"Mum, do they really have a choice?" Remus asked, leaning back on the couch. His mother smiled.

"No," she said with a smile.

"Okay then, we'll be right back," Remus said and he and the other two went up the stairs. Lily grabbed her gifts, nicely wrapped, and hastily sat down and wrapped one of the gifts she had bought in the off chance that she would meet one of her family's friends. She was rather glad she had brought them with her. She walked through the open door to the boy's room.

"Look, Lily, don't bring up the subject of money with Remus's parents," James warned as he took out more gifts. Lily frowned.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"My parents had quite a bit of money before," Remus said, digging through his dresser. "But it all went towards, well, me. A cure for me. They save up and go all out every Christmas."

"And they won't take help from me or Sirius. Peter isn't all that well off either. But they both refuse to take anything."

"They want to get back to where they were," Remus said, sadly looking at Lily. "But pay for all the stupid potions and Healers too. It won't work, I know it. But they hope. And they have a lot of it."

Lily nodded slightly. The two boys stood up, each carrying a lot of gifts.

"Just enjoy it. They like making people happy."

Lily smiled as they descended. Rather like her own parents, really. Lily got half of their money and possessions, as Petunia informed her. It wasn't much, but it was a good enough start. She placed her gifts under the tree and sat back down, sipping her hot chocolate happily.

The fire roared green and Mr. Lupin came through, dragging a trunk. Sirius stumbled out of the flames after him.

"Sirius Black!" Mrs. Lupin said with a big smile. "Did I not tell you to visit when you left on the train? Spending Christmas in some inn…honestly!"

Sirius mumbled "Hello," and turned a faint shade of pink. The woman smiled and poured him hot chocolate as well, which he took readily and sat down next to Remus, grinning.

"Sirius, old chap, long time no see," Remus said, a grin getting wider with every word. The two boys with grins that threatened to take their heads off turned to James, who grinned as well.

"Why, yes, my friends, how _wonderful _it is to see all of you again!" James said, looking at the both of them.

"So we have a week or so, eh?" Sirius asked enthusiastically. The other two nodded. " A lot can happen in a week. An awful, awful lot."

All three nodded in agreement, and began to laugh. Mr. Lupin chuckled and Mrs. Lupin was adding to the grocery list furiously. Lily looked at the boys until they stopped laughing.

"What?" all three asked together and started laughing again. Lily smiled in a puzzled way, thoroughly confused about the whole situation. This only made the boys grin even wider, and a mischievous look captured their eyes.


	32. Of Holidays and Pranks

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: Thanks to all reviewers! Sorry this has been so long in coming, I wasn't in a happy enough mood lately to write a chapter like this. But I had fun, so I hope you will too! Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 32 – Of Holidays and Pranks 

Lily was awaken the next morning by a screaming Sirius. She jumped out of bed and burst into Remus's room, seeming small due to the extra bed on the floor. Sirius was tied to it and was no longer screaming, but laughing.

After ten minute's worth of explaining, Lily understood the events to go as such.

James and Remus got up an hour before everyone else. So they needed a good way to start the day.

Instead of actually going for a run or something, they tied Sirius to his bed. Very tightly, just in case he could hit them after they did what they did next.

They decided to give him a cold shower. A very cold shower.

Sirius was still sitting, his hair dripping wet, on the cold bed. But that wasn't the end.

After the bucket of water, they told him he needs to leave, they're under attack.

And that's when he noticed he was tied down.

And started laughing.

Lily just listened carefully throughout the whole thing. A smile played on her lips every time she looked at Sirius, who was trying to undo his foot straps.

"Is it safe to assume you haven't told him about the fact that his hair is bright green?" she whispered. The two boys nodded.

"Remus here has this thing muggles call hair dye or something? It turns your hair different colors," James said, whispering so Sirius wouldn't hear him.

"But why don't you use magic? We're all of age here."

"Because, Lily dear, muggles have such great pranks!"

"Right!" Sirius said, finishing off the ropes. "I'm off to take a bloody warm shower, thank you very much."

The boy stalked off to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Remus laughed quietly while James just grinned.

A scream was heard from the bathroom, entirely too high to be Sirius. However, it was him that came out of the bathroom at full speed, launching himself at James in a frenzy of anger. Remus jumped out of the way, and James sprang off the bed in time, so Sirius landed in the middle, face down.

"Run!" James yelled, bolting for the door. Remus ran after him. Lily just stayed, moving hair out of her eyes. Sirius rolled over, sat up in the bed, looked around the room, and finally looked at Lily. It was at that point his determined anger gave way to laughter.

"What?" Lily asked cautiously, knowing full well that some would consider her pranking territory.

Sirius just laughed again, this time falling sideways on the bed and rolling onto the floor. Lily now became concerned. She stood up hurriedly and dashed to the bathroom, where she looked at herself in the mirror and screamed.

On her forehead, in red and green marker, were the words "Happy Christmas!" She screamed again, and went out the bathroom door, bolting down the stairs where James and Remus went.

In fact, they we hiding behind Mr. Lupin's chair. Mrs. Lupin came in with a cup of hot chocolate, and smiled happily at Lily.

"So glad to see you're in the spirit, dear," she said soothingly. Lily touched her forehead.

"Yeah," she said quietly while James smiled innocently and Remus laughed quietly. Mr. Lupin also had a smile on his face.

"I think, perhaps, it was unintended?" he suggested. Mrs. Lupin looked to her son and nodded. She moved over to Lily.

"Come, dear, I think you'll find I have just the stuff for Magic Markers," she said and gently ushered Lily away. James and Remus began laughing loudly.

"Really, boys, the young lady? I doubt she's been around you while you play jokes on people."

"That's just it, dad," Remus said, smiling widely. "She hasn't. And it's not like we do anything _permanent_."

At that moment, Sirius stumbled down the stairs. His hair was still bright green, and he scowled as he saw James and Remus.

"This bloody color won't wash off! What the hell did you do to me? Oh, sorry, Mr. Lupin."

"Quite all right, Sirius. I daresay I wouldn't stop there if I were you. Is this one of your muggle things, Remus?"

"Dad, you'll ruin the fun!" Remus exclaimed as Mr. Lupin raised his wand and took away Sirius's dye. The handsome boy grinned and turned towards the stairs as Lily came down, not looking very forgiving.

"Whose bright idea was this?" she asked seriously. Remus stood up, and James followed.

"Well, it was mine," Remus said, smiling.

"And I did it," James said, grinning. He walked over to Lily. "It was just some innocent fun, Lily."

"Right," the young witch said, her mind already working overtime. "Innocent fun. Sure."

The three boys exchanged glances. They would have to be on their _guard_. Lily Evans had never pranked anyone, but she had too much potential for comfort.

"It's Christmas Eve, everyone!" Mrs. Lupin exclaimed, coming down the stairs with food. "And that means the feast!"

"Mum, do we really have to have twelve foods on the table?" Remus groaned.

"It's a family tradition, Remus, and I will uphold it. Now you just stay out of the kitchen and don't make too much of a mess in the house."

The teenagers left the room. Lily sat down on the sofa and began to scribble something, which she hid from the three boys, claiming it was "girl stuff" and that they couldn't see.

A shadow was outside the window. As James glanced at it, it was gone. He blinked. What was that?

He shook it off as Lily stood up hurriedly and went to her room. After a meaningful glance, the three boys huddled together.

"So? What do you think?" Sirius asked James, nodding towards the stairs.

"Lily? I think she's probably racking her brains for a comeback around now."

"What do you think she'll do?" Remus asked. He reached under the table carefully and pulled out a manual from Zonko's. He flipped it open to a random page.

"Well, does she really have the nerve to turn us into pigs?" he asked, pointing at the incantation and the result on the page.

"Moony, mate, you'd be surprised," James said and glanced at the window. There it was again, that shadow. As he blinked, it was gone. "Remus, do you gnomes?"

"Only two, and they went on vacation. Why?"

"I…nothing. I think I'm seeing things."

"Don't forget, Prongs, there's always that forest behind the house. Rabbits and deer come to our lawn all the time."

"Right," James said, shaking his head. But it didn't look like a deer, did it?

"So the pigs theory is out. How about," Remus said, flipping through the book again. He stopped on a page displaying a boy with orange skin. "Does she know the incantation for that?" he asked, a bit worriedly. The boys glanced at eachother.

James started to shake his head when his back suddenly became very, very cold. He jumped up and pulled at his shirt, discovering it was wet. He turned towards the stairs, where Lily was holding a plastic ice cream cone.

"What is that?" he said, surprised, still trying to limit contact between his shirt and his back. Remus jumped up as well, and Sirius wasn't far behind. Lily just grinned.

"This, my dear friends, is what I call revenge," she said and held out the plastic ice cream threateningly. James laughed a bit, sounding nervous.

"A plastic ice cream cup?" he said mockingly. "Really, Lily, you have to do better than that."

She just grinned. He grin sent shivers down the spines of the three friends. "So you say," she said quietly, and pressed the button.

Out of the seemingly harmless ice cream cup sprayed a jet of very cold water, showering the boys and making them yelp in discomfort. Lily ran up the steps.

"Should we follow her?" Sirius asked.

"Of course!" James said.

"What if it's a trap?" Remus pointed out. James laughed.

"Moony, she used all her water. There's no way that little thing holds any more than what we have on us!"

After they came to that conclusion, the three Marauders bounded up the steps hurriedly. As they came into the hall, they were met not with water, but with-

"Paint? You're putting paint in it?" James yelled, covering his face with his hands as the neon red paint showered him. The two boys behind him groaned, as their hair became red and Lily laughed.

After two minutes of straight spraying, the paint turned blue. Sirius noticed this, and complained.

"You're enchanting muggle objects!" he protested. Lily stopped, looking hurt.

"And here I thought you three would recognize a Zonko product!" she said and started again, the paint being bright pink. The three groaned and dived back down the stairs, Lily trailing them happily.

The paint stopped as they reached the landing. The shadow was in the window; only it wasn't a shadow anymore. The dawn light cast an eerie effect on the creature.

The laughing died as Mr. Lupin sprang out of his seat. A dish shattered in the kitchen and Mrs. Lupin went after him.

The creature broke the window. The paint-soaked boys saw who, and what, it was and gulped.

"Run!" Mr. Lupin called to them. "Run now, for Merlin's sake!"

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Sins of Angels: Well, I hope I did a good job with the pranks and all. Any guesses to who's at the window? Just curious whom you guys think it is. 


	33. Werewolf Opportunities

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: Thank you to all reviewers! You guys rock! Well, sad to say that in this time (the time between posting my chapters), no one (who actually told me or ventured a guess) actually correctly guessed who broke the window. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing about my writing, but oh well. Anyway, there were some close ones, like people saying it was a Death Eater, which would be correct, but not accurate enough. I figured leaving you with that cliffhanger was rather mean, so I'm posting this as soon as I wrote it. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 33 – Werewolf Opportunities 

Remus stood rooted to his spot. Was that him? Was that the monster? His friends seemed to be frozen as he was.

"Greyback?" Remus whispered. The werewolf who had cursed him with his disease smiled at the teenager. His teeth were long.

But it wasn't a full moon!

"Ah, little Remus Lupin. Glad to see you survived!" the half-human said joyfully. His figure was hunched and he was decidedly hairier than normal humans. His voice was rough, and his eyes were yellow and animal-like.

"Get out of my house!" Mr. Lupin commanded. Greyback turned his piercing eyes on him.

"Ah, Lupin, old boy. You aren't still sore about me getting your son to join us in the werewolf race, are you?" His tone was light, conversational. You would have thought he's just another guest.

"GET OUT!" Mr. Lupin screamed. The half-werewolf flinched.

"This is no way to welcome a guest on Christmas Eve, Lupin. And here I thought that you were a friendly family."

Greyback walked in lazily and sat down in a chair by the fire. He grinned again, as his hands dug into the arms. Mrs. Lupin frowned considerably, staring at the damage this…thing was doing. But she couldn't do anything. Not just yet.

"Nice place, Lupin. I would've thought, after all the money you spent trying to get a cure for this incurable condition…" He let his words linger, creating an uncomfortable silence.

"What do you want?" Remus asked suddenly. He was angry. Hadn't this man done enough to him already?

"Why, Remus, old chap, just to pay a visit to my favorite offspring, of course!" he said and laughed at the looks of disgust that passed the Lupin family's faces. "That's what I call all the people I've…blessed."

"Surprised you haven't lost count yet, Greyback!" Sirius spat venomously. The unwanted guest smiled at him.

"Ah, Sirius Black. So sad to see you couldn't join us like your brother…"

The color drained from Sirius's face. Greyback laughed again.

"I meant the Death Eaters, you silly child. He hasn't let me bite him…yet."

"Stay the hell away from my family, you monster!" Sirius yelled. Greyback just chuckled.

"Family, Black? You mean the people you left? The brother you walked out on? I must say, it's a good thing you did. I doubt he would have come around if he listened to much more of your senseless babble of right and wrong."

Once again, Sirius's face became white. He started to tremble. His brother had joined because of _him_?

"Don't blame Sirius for his brother's stupidity!" James yelled, jumping in.

"Stupidity, James Potter? He's the smartest kid I've met yet. Keeps to himself. Thinks, you could hear the gears moving. I daresay he's smarter than everyone in this room combined. Well," he said, his gaze lingering on Remus, "almost everyone."

"Why are you here?" Mr. Lupin asked coldly, trying to keep in front of his wife, who seems to have decided she wanted to hit the werewolf.

"Personally, I think it's high time someone told young Remus here about all the…_opportunities_, offered to people like us."

"If you mean Voldemort-" Remus started angrily before Greyback growled.

"Do not speak the Dark Lord's name!" he roared, baring his teeth more than ever before. "Do not utter it with your stupid, foolish mouth! He is all powerful, and you do not deserve the honor of speaking it!"

"Honor?" Remus said angrier still, scowling. "Is that what he's feeding you? Really, Greyback, I thought you were a smart, _lone_ wolf!"

"I was," the man said, springing from his chair. "That is, until he showed me how much his power can help. Did you not wonder why I have my teeth and hair when the moon is waning?"

Remus nodded, ever so slightly. The man beamed. Behind him, Mr. Lupin held up his wand, aiming at his head.

"It's all because of him. It's a reward, Remus. It's my reward for what I'm about to do."

Remus gulped. "And what are you-"

Greyback spun around, ducked under the stunner that Mr. Lupin aimed for him, and came up, his claws digging into the man's stomach. He gave him a deep gash, and blood began to stain his shirt. Mrs. Lupin screamed in horror, all thoughts of the werewolf forgotten, and mumbled healing spells as fast as she could. Greyback grinned as he turned to Remus. "Look at the power I have, little wolf!" he commanded, overjoyed at the sickened look on Remus's face. "Look at what you are truly capable of! Join with me!"

"No!" Remus yelled, tearing his eyes away from his bleeding father. The gashes seemed to be, slowly, healing.

Sirius growled. Only it wasn't Sirius anymore that was doing it. It was a big, black dog, snarling at the werewolf.

"My, my," Greyback said, grinning horribly. "What little tricks you have."

The dog leapt, but Greyback struck it with his arm right under the ribcage. Sirius rolled into the wall, whimpering. James followed, becoming the great stag and charging, head down. He caught Greyback off guard and slammed him into the wall, above the broken window. However, foot came into the stag's chest, causing James to lean down a bit as the wind got knocked out of him. Remus took this time to rush over to his parents, leaning down next to his mother.

"Are you okay?" he mumbled hurriedly. His mother turned, her face stained with tears.

"His wounds, they just…they won't…he's bleeding…"

Remus nodded, looking at the torn flesh. Behind him, Sirius got up and jumped on James's back, clawing at Greyback. The man grabbed the dog's front paws after a few little scratches and hurled it at the fireplace. Sirius hit the mantle with a bone crushing sound and dropped limply in front of the fire.

"Mum? Get him to St. Mungo's. Go!" Remus said, looking at the fight. What could he do?

His mother nodded, gripping his father's hand. She looked at her son. "I'm not leaving you here. Not when he's already gotten to you once," she said quietly. Remus turned back to her, not hearing it entirely.

"What?" he asked, but for a response she gripped his shoulder and Apparated, vanishing the three of them with a loud "pop".

Greyback screamed in rage as he realized his target got away. He looked down at the stag.

"I'm bloody killing _someone_ tonight!" he screamed and hit James with his fists on the stag's head.

Next to the fireplace, Sirius shakily stood up. He limped on his front left paw, which was broken. The dog growled, which caused the werewolf to stop hitting James to look at it.

From the landing, Lily raised a trembling wand. The creature was hitting James. Her hand became steady, and she aimed directly at Greyback. Only one thing stood between her and him.

Doubt.

Could she do it? She knew the incantation well enough, it was famous-for all the wrong reasons. But there wasn't any other choice. There couldn't be. She concentrated again, as Sirius tried to desperately keep Greyback's attention away from the stag that was pinning him to the wall. Lily shut her eyes. Of course she could. She had to. It was self-defense. Rather, it was in the defense of James.

Briefly wondering what the punishment would be for performing the worst Unforgivable curse, she aimed.

* * *

Sins of Angels: Please don't hate me too much. I just love to leave people wondering. Anyway, indulge me and venture a guess as to what Lily Evans will do. One, because I'm curious as hell of what my readers think, and two because I'm currently not sure myself what will happen, so if anyone gives me an idea that I like, or that will fit with the eventual story, I'll use it. Thanks! 


	34. Casualties

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: Well, here's the next chapter. Thanks to all reviewers! You guys had great (and in the case of egg nog, very funny) ideas, but I kind of took one and went off on a tangent from it. So here it is, complete with inviting title and all. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 34 – Casualties 

Sirius jumped, his broken paw flinging wildly as his good one landed in Greyback's face. James couldn't take it, and staggered back as Sirius bounded behind him. Lily paused. He was moving around too fast.

She wanted to aim it right. So, going for the safer option, she shot binds out of her wand. They wrapped around the intruder as he started ripping them, providing only a momentary stop.

The dog and that stag turned to look at her. Greyback, sensing that something was wrong, turned his eyes on her. He grinned.

"Ah, you must be that mudblood Snape speaks so fondly of," he said, ripping another bind. "You'd think you guys had sex or something," he said absentmindedly, fiddling with the ones around his shoulders. The stag charged at him again, one of his antlers coming too close to Greyback's stomach for comfort as he pinned him to the wall once more. "I see that's a rather _touchy _subject with you, Potter, is it? Can't be the little trick they tried in September, could it?"

The antler dug into his stomach. He winced slightly as blood began to trickle down his shirt.

"You going to kill me, beautiful?" he asked tauntingly, ripping yet another bind. His breath was shallow and rough. Lily looked outraged. She raised her wand.

_This is it!_ "_Avada Kedavra!_" she yelled. Sirius turned to look at her, the surprise on his face evident. James ducked his head down lower. The werewolf just grinned, smiling at the jet of green light heading for him.

* * *

"Mother, let me go!" Remus yelled in his room at St. Mungo's. "They're still in trouble!"

"The Aurors are on their way, dear. There's nothing you can do except get in the way."

They have been sitting next to Mr. Lupin arguing for the last five minutes. Remus kept wanting to leave, but his mother spoke to him in a calm, quiet voice. "I have to help!"

"Help how?" his mother suddenly exploded. "Look what that thing did to your father! Do you propose to face him, with how little you know?"

Remus's face whitened. "Aurors? They're…they're going there?"

His mother nodded. "In a minute or so. They're just trying to get a team ready-hey! Where do you think you're going? Come back here, Remus James Lupin! I forbid you to leave this hospital!"

"Aurors are coming," Remus muttered under his breath as he hurried out to the entrance of the hospital, waiting to Apparate. "And Sirius and James are their animal forms. Oh, _Merlin's beard_, they'll be thrown in _Azkaban_!"

* * *

The werewolf smiled. He could feel the curse wasn't strong enough. He smiled again as he yelled out "_Protego!_" and the curse deflected back at the witch, who stared at it. It hit her, in the chest. Her eyes fluttered for a moment as she collapsed against the railing, her wand rolling out of her hand. Greyback grinned. Maybe the girl had more power than he thought.

He then smiled horribly at she astounded stag in front of him, and swiveled the wand to him, and after a flash of blue-white light, James was standing in front of him, his head down and on his hands and knees. The man brought his hand down in the middle of the boy's shoulders with such force that James just hit the floor flat.

Sirius had transformed and had rushed up the stairs to Lily, his arm bones coming through his skin at either side of his arm. With his right, he carefully checked her neck for a pulse. Before he could find the spot, Greyback had hit James. Sirius turned at the loud crashing and saw his best friend on the floor, groaning slightly, and the half-wolf looking at him and Lily as if they were breakfast. Sirius gulped.

Remus burst through the door, out of breath, and took in the scene around him. Greyback had a wand. He seemed to have used it, because James was on the floor, throughrougly human, and Lily was unconscious.

At least, she seemed unconscious. Her chest didn't seem to be moving.

Seeing the look in the werewolf's eyes, Remus made up his mind. "Here, puppy!" he called. It worked. Greyback rounded on him.

"And I thought your sensible mother had taken you away from me!" he growled menacingly. Sirius stood up and held out his wand, aiming as Remus made frantic head gestures.

Greyback screamed. He clutched at his head, the earsplitting scream threatening to shatter all glass. The grown man collapsed to his knees, as patches of hair began to remove themselves from his body. His nails became shorter. He turned his head to the heavens and screamed some more, allowing Remus a view of his teeth shortening. After he seemed to change back to a normal man, he collapsed on the floor. Remus carefully came next to him and, wand raised, prodded him with his foot. Greyback didn't move.

"What do you suppose happened?" Sirius asked, staring at the passed out murderer with wonder. Remus shrugged as he stunned him.

"I suppose the spell wore off," the boy said indifferently. He then looked around the room again and rushed over to James. Sirius glanced at his arm, winced, and made it to the last step before he threw up. "What's wrong, Padfoot?" Remus asked, glancing up. He caught sight of Sirius's arm and turned an unmistakable green color. He shook his head hurriedly and turned back to James. All in all, it wasn't an improvement.

But James beckoned, with his right hand, for Remus to come closer. "Make me change," he whispered. "It'll…it'll be better."

Remus shook his head. "Aurors are coming, Prongs. They'll arrest you if you change."

James's eyes widened. Sirius looked up. "A-Aurors?" he stumbled, and then looked at Greyback. "He…he saw us. What…?"

Remus walked over to Greyback and coldly soaked him in little wine. "This should discredit _anything_ he says. Better, Sirius?" he said kindly. He turned to see Sirius bending over James, listening, his broken arm behind his back.

Even thought it was a whisper, it was a shout in the stillness of the house. "Lily?"

The voice was broken, and the request was simple. He wanted to see her, to know she's okay. The problem with that, Remus soon realized, was that she wasn't.

For a brief moment he thought he would throw up. Her breaths were so small, so irregular, that it didn't look like they were there at all. He bent down next to her feverishly. He could hear Sirius whispering to James about how they had to play that prank on Cassidy, the one about her skin turning green. Her searched for Lily's pulse, leaving blue and pink paint all over her neck. He found the small, soft beat. It was much slower than it should be.

It seemed at least a year ago that she was chasing them with a paint-spurting ice cream cone. He looked down again and carefully picked up her wand. There were some very large "pop!" sounds from the front of the house. The Aurors have arrived.

Sure enough, they charged in. Amidst them, wizards in Healer robes separated and went to Sirius and James. Sirius waved them off, but could not deflect one, who insisted on looking at his arm. As the bones were brought within his sights, Sirius turned and threw up again, this time getting a bucket full of paper in just the right spot.

Alastor Moody was standing over Greyback, muttering to the others as they packed him up. His gaze came to Remus, and he gave him a smile.

"Had your mother come and yell at us. We arrived with half the team because she kept saying that there were children in the house. We weren't need, obviously," Moody said, explaining while he looked around the room. "That bastard!" he muttered as he saw the broke window, and then James. He turned his eyes to Remus, who still had his hand on Lily's pulse. The boy was frantically making sure it wouldn't vanish on him.

"What happened to her?" Moody asked. Remus hesitated. What had happened?

Sirius looked up, then down at James, who nodded ever so slightly. "She was hit with…with her own curse, sir."

Moody walked over and stuck his hand through the stair bars, his hand getting some of the blue paint on her neck. "Seems an awfully weak pulse for a stunner. Too weak for anything, in fact. You, there! Why haven't you seen to her yet?"

A Healer scowled at him and rushed over to Lily. He ran his wand over her, and his face drained of color, as his eyes became three times their previous size. He hurried over to the crowd around James and whispered hurriedly. He came back with three others, all muttering and frantically running their wands over her bodies.

"What was she hit with?" Moody asked. Remus looked to Sirius, who hesitated. It was James who wheezed out the answer.

"The…_Avada_…_Kedavra_…" the boy said as his spine was being mended.

The Healers stopped and looked at James, as if daring him to laugh and say he was joking. When no such thing came, Moody growled. "Why are you all just standing there? Bloody useless Healers if you don't heal anyone!"

"But…there's no precedent to this…" one of them babbled.

"You better damn well find out how to help this young lady, or you'll be like her, only my curse would have gone to completion!" Moody roared. All of the Healers bent over her again, this time whispering hurriedly and shaking their heads every so often.

Remus looked at his house. The whole thing was a wreck. There was a streak of blood where Sirius had broken his arm and slid down the wall. James was starting to carefully twitch his fingers, a hopeful sign. The bones in Sirius's arm were no longer sticking out quite so perpendicular at each other. He was fine, physically. His father would live. Lily's heart was still beating.

They had all gotten out of this alive, hadn't they? They were all going to live. Might not be a Christmas full of presents, but of miracles, at least. They would be fine.

He glanced down at Lily.

Mostly. Probably. Perhaps…


	35. The Killing Curse

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: Thanks to all reviewers! You rock! Okay, I admit I may have been getting a little cliff-hanger-happy lately, and I'm sorry. On the plus side, I do update quicker than most, which I guess is good…right? Well, anyway, I won't keep you from discovering what happens after that little battle in the last chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 35 – The Killing Curse 

James opened his eyes slowly. For the past two days he'd done everything slowly. It was rather annoying.

He sat up, careful not to do it too quickly. Last time he tried that one rib that hadn't fully mended itself punctured his lung.

That was no picnic. He sighed, but not a satisfyingly as he wanted. Having your spine and ribs shattered took a lot of getting used to.

Then again, he'd be all done in a day or two.

His eyes rested on the pretty red head in the bed opposite of him. Her blank, unblinking eyes were staring out the window. She had gone under again.

Painfully, he looked to the bed next to him. Sirius was sleeping, without snoring for once, his arm carefully wrapped up.

Seems like Remus had stepped out, because Mrs. Lupin was there, holding her husband's hand. She smiled at James, who nodded back to her. Seeming satisfied, he carefully began to lower himself on his bed again.

Lily shot up, blinked, and looked out the window. Her red hair was messed up on her left, and she pointed to the falling snow. James stopped.

"What happened to the sun?" she said shakily, staring at the snow in disgust. James stopped smiling. Any day now, the Healers had said. Everything will just hit her again. Just give it time.

"It's hidden," James said quietly, which was as loud as he could at the moment.

She frowned. James resisted the urge to smile at her. Last time he did that, she had yelled at him questions repeatedly. He didn't want an argument this early.

"What'd they go and hide it for?" she scolded the clouds. "Bloody bastards!" she exclaimed and went back down in her bed, staring out the window. James resumed his slow descent. "This white stuff it very weird indeed. Is this what people call snow?"

"Yes, dear," Mrs. Lupin answered, looking at Lily kindly.

"Bloody waste of damn good rain if you ask me. We don't need any more ice, thank you!"

James smiled slightly, making sure she can't see him. The sole good thing about all of this was that Lily had become rather more…outspoken. As a result, increasingly amusing. Sirius usually laughed at her to no end until she rounded on him, at which point he went to sleep hurriedly.

"Look how it just takes its time floating down. Hmp! The nerve!"

James smiled again, making sure she couldn't see him. Soon they'd all be out of here, and Lily would be back to her old self.

Possibly. What had the Healer said now?

_"Oh, yes, Mr. Potter, in all probability, she should be fine in a day or two. Er, that is, we think. Don't look at me like that, young man! We've never had this happen. It's a blessing she didn't have the proper power to kill anyone, she would have died. Now you listen, she might be a bit odd for a while. Her head was jumbled up and all, but it'll reset with time. Not every day you get to laugh at death, eh?"_

_James just stared. As far as he remembered as he lay after Greyback shattered his spine, his breaths slowing, laughing was the last thing on his mind._

She'll be fine in time, he said. Well, the only thing left to do is trust him and try not to aggravate her too much.

The second day after they had been brought in, the nurse helped him up as she fluffed his pillows. Looking at Lily, sleeping peacefully, brought a shy smile to his lips.

She had been prepared to kill, all because Greyback was hitting him, James. She had risked everything and used a curse so horrible it was outlawed, all because she feared for him!

It did, briefly, occur to him at, at the same time, Sirius and herself were in danger as well. He pushed that thought aside, savoring the first one.

She loved him. There was no doubt about it.

And he loved her. There wasn't even the smallest hint of doubt there.

She looked out the window again, a faraway look on her face. Soon she stopped blinking, but started to twitch slightly. Mrs. Lupin went out of the room and a Healer came back in, taking her hand and checking her pulse on it. He ran his wand over her again, nodded, and smiled at James.

"Mr. Potter, all evidence suggests that Miss Evans will be having her last spell right now. It's extremely probable that she will wake up her old self, and might have forgotten what has happened. I must insist that you break it to her gently, out of fear from setting her into another shock. You will do that, won't you?"

James sat up as quickly as he could, and nodded. As he watched, Lily stopped her mild twitching. Her eyes suddenly closed tight, and she began to mutter under her breath furiously. The Healer beamed.

"Ah, dreams! Won't be long now."

James nodded slightly and smiled. She was coming back to him.

The smiled vanished on the Healer's face as he realized Lily wasn't stopping her muttering. Instead, it was getting louder. She began to thrash around in her bed. He ran out for help as she began to scream. James looked on, his eyes wide, pleading, holding on to the little hope he had left by less than a thread.

"James!" she screamed, her hand hitting her bedside table and knocking off the vase of flowers. It shattered, spraying water everywhere. "James! Get back, you idiot!" she yelled again, as the Healers rushed in and came around her bed. They carefully restrained her wrists and ankles to the bed as she tried to flail around. "He's a monster!" she yelled, her voice braking. "Look what…look what he did to Sirius!" she said again, this time softer and sobbing. Tears ran down her cheeks as she stopped struggling. Suddenly she shot up, her eyes open wide, looked at the bed with James and gasped.

"You've died!" she said, pointing at him as the Healers released her and ran their wands over her again, frowning. "I died, and you must have died too! Oh, James, I tried! I tried to get him! To make him stop hitting you, I tried, James! I tried as hard as I could…I tried the killing curse, James. I did that curse. I panicked. And now you're dead too!"

She sprang up and before anyone could stop her, she threw her arms around James, and forced him back on his bed. James winced as his back hit the sheets, but didn't feel anything break. Carefully he embraced her, digging his face in her hair as he held her for the first time in almost a week.

"I didn't want you to die, James. I didn't want you to die at all! You…he should have died. It was meant for him. It was meant for him to take…not deflect…" she sobbed into his pillow, holding on to him.

"Lily," James said quietly, smiling. "You're awfully solid for a ghost…I think we're alive."

Lily pushed herself up from the bed and looked around at the astounded Healers, who still hadn't moved, Mr. Lupin and his wife, smiling, and a confused and newly awake Sirius. She then looked down at James and grinned.

"Alive?" she said quietly. James smiled and nodded.

She fell on him, only this time she met his lips with hers, forcing him into a deep kiss. He felt fireworks in his head explode as he felt her against him, knowing it wasn't a dream, it was real.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. How true that is…


	36. Gryffindor v Slytherin

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: Thanks to all reviewers! You rock! I'm getting a lot of reviews, and that makes me very happy, so please keep them coming! Anyway, here's yet another chapter. In here, some things may take place at the same time, so I'm sorry if you're confused. Please let me know if you are so I can change my wording! Thanks! Enjoy.

Chapter 36 – Gryffindor v. Slytherin 

Lily sat on the train back, in the same compartment as the three boys. She looked out the window at the passing trees and fields, none of them talking. Sirius's cuts were healing, and James had to move a bit slower than most, but other than that, they were fine. Remus sat there, obviously uncomfortable, obviously blaming himself for this.

But it wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault that he was bitten, or that Voldemort wanted him just because of what he had been cursed with. It wasn't his fault Greyback had dropped in. And yet the boy blamed himself. It was horrible, sitting through two hours of silence, as everyone knew what was on his thoughts. The worst thing was that he thought they really did blame him, and would not be persuaded otherwise.

"I'm sorry," he said again, for the countless time. As James was about to snap at him over how it wasn't his fault, the compartment door opened. Bellatrix leaned against the railing, relaxing with a small smirk on her face, as the four boys behind her pointed their wands in the compartment.

Lily stood up. "Put those wands down!" she ordered. Bellatrix strolled in, as did the others.

"Sit down, mudblood, and don't order me around!" she snapped. Lily stood her ground and spoke over the cry of outrage that escaped James.

"Five points from Slytherin, and don't make it more!" she threatened. Bellatrix laughed, closing her eyes rather boldly in the company of the four brightest students in the school.

"Do you really think that a stupid little House Cup is on my mind at the moment, pray?"

_She said pray, didn't she? But she meant prey. That was for sure. _Lily thought frantically, her hand closing on her wand in the robe's pocket.

"Does the little Head Girl attempt to hex me? With four backing me up?"

Lily kept quiet, her grip on her wand tightening. Bellatrix, still keeping her eyes on her, turned her head slightly.

"Shut the damn blinds and lock that door, will you? Oh, and put a silencing charm around us. No need for the whole train to hear her scream.

James shot out of his seat, as did Sirius. Remus tried to, but Malfoy caught him with a stunner. James and Sirius had their wand out in a flash.

"Put those things away, children," Bellatrix said, and then laughed. "You wouldn't want to hurt yourselves."

"Hurting you seems a better course at the moment," James replied coldly as the blinds were shut.

"Listen to me, Potter. You don't want a repeat of our last encounter, right?"

James's face drained of color as the images he'd put out of his mind for the past four months came painfully flooding back as if a waterfall had started. There she was, screaming, pleading, helpless.

"I thought so," Bellatrix said smugly, seeing his look. Memory can be such a treacherous thing, can't it?"

"I won't be caught off guard this time!" Lily said. Her words jerked James back into this world, and he turned to look at her as if trying to confirm _this_ is _now_, and _that_ was _then_.

"And I'm here!" Sirius said, staring at his cousin with hate. She laughed.

"You, cousin? What could you do?"

Sirius frowned at her and turned to Remus, when he muttered the counter curse and Remus began to move again. Bellatrix raised her eyebrows.

"Setting the werewolf free, I see?" she said. Several things happened at once.

Sirius leapt onto Regulus and slammed him down on the crowded floor, punching his face. James grabbed Snape by his robes and slammed him into a nearby wall. Lily stepped up and smartly smacked Bellatrix with such force the Slytherin fell into the empty seat next to her. Remus stunned Rodolphus just before Malfoy lunged at him and they became engaged in a battle as well.

"You bloody bastard!" Sirius yelled as he punched his brother. "No wonder Voldemort wanted you! How easily did you sell that to them, eh? What did Bellatrix do, lift up her skirt?"

"Shut up Sirius!" Regulus screamed, grabbing hold of his brother's fists. "I didn't bloody tell them!"

For a moment, Sirius looked even angrier.

"Look, I'm telling the truth, okay?" Regulus said, making sure he couldn't be overheard. "I wouldn't tell about Remus when they're such idiots! They'd probably prance to Dumbledore, tell him, and then not be able to say how they knew other than the fact that I told them! So get off me, will you? It was Greyback, before he went."

Sirius stopped punching him and stood up, looking puzzled. No one noticed him offering a hand to his younger brother.

Just as everyone was too busy to notice Regulus taking it, smiling.

"You told them, didn't you? You bastard!" James said, ramming Snape into the wall again. The boy shrank under James's anger. "And to think I went and got you! I thought no one deserved a penalty as worse as that! Remus didn't know anything about it! And now you…you told them!" James took his right hand and put it on the boy's throat.

"It…wasn't…me!" Snape gasped, struggling to keep his trachea open. James came close to his face, lowering his voice until it could freeze water.

"Listen to me, _Severus_. You ever utter a word to anyone about Remus, you'll have a nice visit to the devil to look forward to. And a really short trip. Do you understand me?" James whispered, his hand still on the boy's throat. Snape nodded, ever so slightly, gasping for air. "It seems threats are useless against you, _Severus_," he said, putting stress on his first name that made Snape cringe. "But I find that promises of certain death seem to work quite well. Spread the word, will you. No one else is to find out. And if they do, you're first on my list, _Severus_. Just keep that in mind, will you?"

James threw Snape away in a random direction and turned to see Malfoy and Remus fighting, and Sirius and Regulus arguing quietly and hurriedly, Sirius's fists ready to strike. James sprang for Malfoy, taking care to step on Rodolphus's nose.

Bellatrix looked up, touching her cheek. "You'll pay for this!" she said, from the seat. "You, little mudblood, will pay in much more than galleons!" she reached for her wand.

"You need to learn how to keep your damn mouth shut, girl!" Lily snapped. "I don't fancy Voldemort likes a loudmouth like you!"

"HOW DARE YOU SAY HIS NAME? You are just a puny mudblood mortal, where he is great and powerful!"

"Also mortal. And I imagine he knows how to fool people better than most ever will."

"The Dark Lord is all knowing! He has knowledge you can only dream of!"

"I'd rather not dream about what twisted his mind so much as to be able to think of these deeds you seem to think are righteous!"

Bellatrix grabbed her wand. Before she could stand up, however, Snape landed on top of her. She stumbled back down and her wand lay next to her, still in one piece.

It was after Malfoy had been stunned that Sirius, who had joined in, James and Remus stood up, looking around. Regulus was leaning against the back wall, sporting a potential black eye and a bruise on his cheek, looking throughrougly bored with the whole scene. After Snape rolled over on the floor, gasping and holding his throat, Bellatrix sprang up.

"Leave it, cousin," Regulus said, gently pushing himself off the wall. "It's not the right time."

Bellatrix glared at the four Gryffindors and muttered counter curses for the two stunned boys. "Fine. Just remember, we will be watching."

"As will we," James said, his eyes lingering on her, then Snape.

"Rodolphus, let's go!" Bellatrix said, and left the compartment. Regulus came after her, walking through the door in a rather relaxed manner. Rodolphus and Malfoy got up and, scowling, went after them. Snape got off the ground, dusted himself off, and shot James a look of pure hate. James just smiled horribly at him, and the boy left. Remus stepped up to the door and shut it, locking it in place.

"Anyone up for a game of chess?" Sirius asked, grinning. Remus smiled and shook his head, chuckling.

"You always lose, Sirius. And yet you keep going. Sure, I'm up for a game of chess. No problem."

"Great!" Sirius said, and sat down facing the middle seat, which became alive with his chessboard and his pieces. Remus sat across from him and took out his own pieces.

"What do you say to a game of chess, Lily?" James said, smiling.

"I say I like cards better, because with cards I have a chance," Lily said, smiling as well. She and James sat down and became engrossed in a game of war.

* * *

Bellatrix stopped in her compartment and waited for Regulus to walk in. As soon as he did, she shut the door in her husband's face, clearly fuming.

"Have a soft spot for your brother, do you?" she asked coldly. Regulus flashed her a puzzled smile.

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"You know damn well what I mean! How come you were on your feet while the others were either stunned or in pain?"

"Well, I didn't miss out on the pain part at all," he said, touching his cheek. Bellatrix came up.

"Aw, poor dear, did your brother hurt you?" she asked, running her hand softly over the bruise. She withdrew it suddenly, and brought it down hard. Regulus yelped, clutching at his cheek.

"That bloody hurt, you bitch!" he swore, sitting down. Bellatrix's fury was radiating off of her.

"Really, Regulus? That's nothing compared to what you're about to feel, and that still won't be anything compared to what the Dark Lord would do if he hears of this!"

"You mean you're going to tell the Dark Lord that his Hogwarts spies couldn't even take four Gryffindors head on? Come on, Bella, I know you better than that."

"Shut up! You even had the bright idea to cut it short!"

"Two men were stunned, and one was writhing in pain. You had three wands pointed at you, and Remus Lupin had his pointed at me. If we didn't leave then, we'd be slaughtered. You know it, and I know it! You just won't admit it!"

"I said shut up! Open the door, you bastard!" she shrieked. Regulus got up and let the annoyed Slytherins in. Bellatrix laughed as they sat down. "And now we all see what happens to people who contradict me in executing the Dark Lord's plans. Soundproof it, Rodolphus. Make sure it's strong."

Her husband did so. Snape became a little uneasy, and Malfoy looked at Rodolphus with something that seemed to indicate an apology. As the door was locked and soundproofed, Bellatrix smiled with her mouth and not her eyes at Regulus, who knew what was coming, and tried to prepare himself.

He found that he couldn't. You never could.

"_Crucio!_" she cried, laughing madly.

Regulus screamed as the pain surged through his body, collapsing on the floor. He clutched his head and bit back another scream, determined not to let her have her way.

What followed was a much stronger curse, one that he couldn't bite back. He screamed again, hoping it would penetrate the curse on the door.

No such luck.


	37. Of Brothers and Men

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: Thanks, as always, to my reviewers! This chapter focuses more on Sirius and Regulus, but I hope you like it all the same. You're strongly encouraged to review, mainly because it makes me oh so happy to be writing this to know that people actually like it. Of course, criticism is always welcome as well. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 37 – Of Brothers and Men 

Sirius ran into them at high speed. Lily glanced out the window as James and his best friend tried to get up. No full moon.

Almost a week into the term and it looked like she would have to dock points from her own house again for Sirius being out of bounds. She hated how she always had to do the right thing.

"What are you doing?" she asked, helping him up. She was ready to yell and fight, if need be.

She didn't. Her voice died as she saw his face, contorted with fear and fury. James noticed it too. "Mate, what's wrong?" he asked. Sirius just turned a blank stare on him. He gently sidled over to the wall and sank down. James followed him, and Lily stood a little way away, unsure of what to do. Sirius just brought his knees up and rested his elbows on them, rubbing his eyes with his wrists.

"Do you have a time-turner, Prongs? One that can take me back years?" Sirius asked sadly, his once smiling face now emotionless as he talked dully, a sight that sent chills down James's spine.

This wasn't Sirius Black, fellow Marauder, best mate for his life. This wasn't the kid who would eagerly plan pranks at the drop of a hat. What had happened?

Sirius laughed hollowly, which was possibly more disturbing than what he had done up to now. "Times change, James, don't they? You seemed to realize that faster than I did. I can't go out into the world just smiling and playing these ridiculous jokes on people. I can't act like I don't have responsibilities for another minute, Prongs. Like you realized you can't act like a total prat if you wanted her to like you. Hah, seems you're one up on me there again, mate."

"Sirius, what happened?"

He seemed to collect himself a bit, because he continued not as a sad, detached, human, but sarcastically, laughing hollowly again. "War happens, mate. War happens to everyone."

"War, Sirius? What are you talking about?"

Sirius suddenly turned to him, his eyes narrowed to show his disgust with what he was about to say. "The war with Voldemort, James. Seems Regulus has joined the wrong side."

"What? Did you talk to him?"

Sirius looked from James, to Lily, then to the floor. He nodded, and then stood up. He flashed a great smile, one characteristic of him. He grinned at Lily. "Say, Head Girl, you weren't perhaps thinking of docking points from Gryffindor for me being out of bed, were you?" he said mockingly.

Lily looked to James, surprised at Sirius's sudden change. James looked up at his friend, concerned. "I…thought about it," she said weakly. Sirius beamed at her again and he looked very much like the boy she sat with at breakfast while he talked about turning someone's skin green.

"Wonderful! Well, I'll gladly take those five points-provided you can catch me!" he said quickly and dashed off down the hall. James sprang up, utterly confused. Sirius stopped at the corner, grinned mischievously, and called out, "see you at breakfast!" before disappearing again. Lily looked at James.

"What just happened?"

James hesitated, before grinning at her. "We're playing tag, and you're it!" he called out and ran down the hall too, laughing as Lily started after him.

* * *

Sirius ran up the steps and down the corridors, hearing the sound of James's and Lily's footsteps grow further away. He smiled at that and then cursed himself for acting like that around them. He was Sirius Black. He didn't behave like that, not when others are watching. His feet unconsciously took him in front of the Slytherin dormitory, and he sank down next to the wall, waiting. It wouldn't be long until someone came back here.

Laughter rang out, clearly Lily's. Her warm voice seemed to fill and engulf the chill that was so characteristic of the dungeons. James laughed too. For a slight moment Sirius thought about going up there, seeing them, possibly laughing with them.

But then he shook his head. Take care of business first. Then he can go back to being…himself.

A Slytherin third year came out, panting, and ran past him without realizing it. He jumped up and grabbed the boy by the back of his cloak. He squeaked shrilly, but it was cut short when he realized whose laughter rang throughout the halls. Sirius grinned, which caused the boy to tremble.

"You listen here, chum," Sirius said. The boy nodded eagerly, trying to stay on the Marauder's good side. "You'll go in there and ask for Regulus Black, you hear? Fifth year prefect, with a badge. And you're going to tell him that someone is out here looking for him, but don't let on who. And you better not be trembling in there like you are here, see? Because me, I have a mighty good memory for faces, and I don't seem likely to forget yours in a hurry. Understand me?"

"Yes, sir!" the boy said nervously. Sirius dropped him down, and he scurried into the Common Room, his trembling firmly under control. Sirius smiled as the entrance opened again and his brother came out for the second time that night. Regulus saw Sirius and gave him a puzzled look.

"What, again? Didn't we finish before?" he said lazily. Sirius flinched at his words.

"Come on, I don't feel like being heard," Sirius said and walked towards an empty classroom, knowing his brother would follow. As they made it to the door, Lily's laughter rang out again, as did James's.

"Is that who I think it is?"

"Head Boy and Girl, that's them alright. Anyway, just get inside and don't start talking until the silencing charm is on the room, got it?"

Regulus did walk in and Sirius closed the door and locked it, manually and magically. He then performed his charm and turned towards his brother.

"Why did you send that trembling third year in?" Regulus asked. Sirius looked at him, puzzled. "Now Bellatrix has gone off about how lower years shouldn't talk to us. Are you even aware how hard it was to get in league with those seventh years?"

"And why exactly are you in league with them again?" Sirius asked.

Regulus sighed. "We went over this. It makes no sense not to be."

"What are you talking about!" Sirius said angrily. "It makes perfect sense!"

"Brother, I don't want to have been dragged out of bed again for the same conversation in one night. Is there something you'd like to add, or can I go?"

"Well, _brother_," Sirius spat. Regulus winced slightly. "I have this question for you. Was it because of me?"

Whatever Regulus had been expecting, it wasn't that. He stared at Sirius blankly for a while before finally responding. "What? What do you mean, because of you?"

"Look, when I ran away, I knew I was leaving you. And I hoped you'd follow me and come, but you refused, remember? All I'm saying is, was my leaving the final push you needed?"

Regulus sighed again. He was fifteen, this wasn't fair. He wasn't supposed to have the Dark Lord breathing down his neck or Bellatrix torture him until his head was ready to split. He was supposed to act like James, that day on the lake's edge when he had flirted with an angry Lily. It's amazing what can happen in two years.

Right now, he would give anything to have been standing in James's position, laughing as he turned someone upside down, going around school with a cocky smile all the time. He would love to have a row with a girl over something stupid. He just wanted to be happy.

But no, his rows were all concerning one thing-Voldemort. That bloody bastard has been in his life since the middle of fourth year, when he had to stop talking to Sirius and James, because of something so trivial as what house he was in. That was when Bellatrix had pounced, and first won over his mother, who made him go along with it. To think his parents were proud he was following that deranged lunatic.

And yet no one knew, no one would even guess, that proud, cunning, sarcastic little Regulus Black had his own plans, ones that differed from what he was told to do. They never thought the dog would bite the hand that feeds it. Not even his own brother.

"Sirius," Regulus said, sighing. "You had nothing to do with that. Did I ever tell you why I joined in our little chats?"

Sirius sat down in an empty chair, shaking his head.

"Look, remember when people started to hate me last year? When I stopped talking to you? It was because I was in Slytherin and you were in Gryffindor, and the two shouldn't mix. But every time I saw you and your three friends, I wished more than anything to go to Gryffindor and be one of you guys, a Marauder, someone with friends.

"And then Bellatrix came along. You know how mum is with family, I had to be nice to her or she'd have a fit. I didn't have anywhere to go, not like you. I didn't have a friend like James, one that would take me in. So I was nice, and she mistook this for me being interested in what she does, and recruited me into her group of, for want of a better word, friends.

"I knew they were in league with the Dark Lord-"

"-Voldemort," Sirius supplied. Regulus didn't flinch or anything, he just smiled faintly.

"Right, him."

"Why don't you say his bloody name, anyway? You don't make any movement when anyone else says it."

"Force of habit, I suppose. I'd be dead in two seconds if I called him Voldemort instead of the Dark Lord. I'm a fifth year at Hogwarts, I haven't proven myself useful yet. Anyway, the thing that stood out, that made me join in with them, was the one murder he had openly done himself. Curiously enough, it's the one where every finger but a scarce few point at your best mate."

"You don't mean…?"

"Yes, brother, I do. Charlie Potter Jr. was a very impressive murder indeed. Think about it, Sirius. I've spent enough time around Charlie to notice how brilliant he was, what a quick thinker he could be. I knew he didn't lose his head in a crisis at all, and he was one powerful wizard. Before his encounter with the Dark Lord, I thought him invincible. But, then, he died at the hands of the one I've been convinced to follow. The way James described it, he didn't even put up a fight. He couldn't. The Dark Lord just blasted him clear out of the water.

"So, you see, Sirius, it made little sense to not join him. I've always considered myself smarter than most, and I know what I'm doing."

"Regulus, you are one stupid kid, you know that?" Sirius asked angrily, getting up from his chair. Regulus got up too.

"Oh, spare me the act, Sirius. We both know that you don't care if it wasn't your fault."

Sirius grabbed him by his robes and spun him around, slamming him on the wall. "Don't care? Do you know what happened tonight, Regulus?"

For someone pinned to the wall, the boy smiled in an overly happy way. "Put me down, Sirius, we both know you won't hurt me. And no, I don't know what happened."

Sirius felt it, the ever so light probing of his mind. He slammed Regulus again and it stopped. "It's useless to go messing around in my memories, Regulus. You should have figured out that I'd be an Occlumency expert by now."

"Fine, fine, just let my bloody feet touch the floor again."

Sirius lowered him. "I met James and Lily, after our little talk. I must say, this one has turned out more productive than the last."

"Maybe it's because to asked the right questions, brother."

"Shut up. Anyway, they saw, well, him."

A look of concern flashed on the younger boy's face. "You mean…"

"Yeah. James Potter saw me, Sirius Black, completely miserable. And what's worse, I think I let on too much. He just might figure some stuff out and come asking questions."

Regulus now lost his confident look and began to look fearful. "You won't…you aren't going to, to tell him about me, are you?"

Sirius shook his head distractedly. "No, no, don't worry, you're safe. Well," he added, laughing horribly, "as safe as you can be what with that hypocritical pureblood maniac watching your every move."

"Well, look, if I don't get back, they're going to start being suspicious. I hope we've resolved everything?" Regulus said, pausing at the door. Sirius just laughed at him in a way that suggested something that only he found funny was talking place in a setting that should not be amusing.

"Yes, dear brother, we resolved that you're not only a complete moron, but a total git as well. Go back to your precious friends, Death Eater."

For a moment, and only for a moment, Regulus paused in opening the door after Sirius's last comment. His back to his brother, he shut his eyes tightly and opened the door, walking through it and went off to the Slytherin Common Room.

Sirius slowly left the empty room, what was said there tonight hung in the air, both from the first and this conversation. Maybe there was something his brother didn't seem to want to let on.

As he turned the corner, he raised his head and saw James running. As he streaked past him, his friend yelled, "you better get going, mate! She's hot on my heels and we'll lose five points if she gets you!"

Sirius turned around to see Lily just coming down the corridor, having just turned to corner. She grinned as she spotted him, and he grinned back, a grin that told her that she would never catch him. He turned around and began running after James's footsteps, gaining speed and laughing loudly. He was back to his old self.


	38. Damsel in Distress

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: Sorry I haven't updated. Computer troubles like no tomorrow… Anyway, thank you to all reviewers, I'm terribly sorry I haven't updated in so long, and I may need to space them out even more, my new laptop just doesn't want to cooperate. So, this really is up at the first chance I got, which I once again apologize for it not being sooner. Stupid technology! Another bit of news I'm not sure has reached everyone's ears, I've decided that I'm stopping this story at the end of their seventh year. A sequel most likely will be also included in the deal that I cut off my story then, but there's a very high chance that they will not follow each other immediately. So enjoy, it might be ending relatively soon.

Chapter 38 – Damsel in Distress 

Lily felt his hands slide around her waist and smiled. She had been looking for a book in their personal library and he just came up from behind and wrapped himself around her, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"What are you looking for?" he asked softly.

"A Transfiguration book that I'm sure I saw here last week. I don't know where it could have gone, to tell you the truth."

James let her go and disappeared in his room, bringing out the very book she was looking for. She smiled at him.

"Thanks. I didn't realize you had it."

James shrugged. "I needed to look something up."

It was then that Lily noticed his broom resting next to the door. She frowned a bit as she glanced out the window. "Quidditch practice in this blizzard, James?"

He nodded. "We need to be ready for all kinds of weather for this Friday's match. It'll be good practice. I don't fancy losing to Ravenclaw at all."

Lily sighed and then grinned as she walked up to him and rested her arms on his shoulders. "Guess I should give you something to keep you warm then."

"Oh?" James said, raising his eyebrows. "And what might that be?"

Lily kissed him softly on the lips. It was one of those kisses that were gentle, soft, loving, but had a force like no other.

James smiled after she pulled away. "That'll work, yeah."

Lily laughed at him. "Well. Go on, Quidditch Captain. Can't keep you here all day, can I?"

He kissed her on the cheek. "Lily, you can keep me here, right next to you, for a lifetime."

Lily smiled and then pouted. "Not forever?"

James smiled too. "At some point we'd make our way to the couch, wouldn't we?"

Lily laughed and then shooed him away. "Go on, Quidditch star! I don't fancy losing to Ravenclaw. And don't catch a cold, alright?"

James walked over to his broom and opened the door. He looked back. "I'll try, dear," he said wearily, as if they'd been married for twenty years. Lily grinned at him.

"Have fun!" she called as he closed the door. She gently lowered herself on the chair, looking at the book James had handed to her. It was not long before a frantic knocking came from the Hufflepuff Common Room door. Lily stood up quickly and opened it with permission from the portrait.

"Lily!" a third year called hurriedly. The girl pointed at the sixth year Diggory, who was currently laughing as he tore down the curtains.

"Diggory!" Lily said sternly. The boy turned to her, laughed a very unsettling laugh and turned back, setting a chair on fire.

"He's not like this, Evans," another sixth year said.

"I figured. Diggory, listen to me! You have to stop!"

The boy just turned to her again and laughed, his eyes dull. "Hello, Evans," he said, his voice horribly hollow. "Fancy meeting you here."

Lily raised her wand. This wasn't normal at all. "I'm giving you one last shot, Diggory."

His eyes flashed, as did the horrible smile. "Fine. Have it your way," he said and lowered his wand. Lily did so too and took a step towards him. He turned sharply to her again and pointed his wand, screaming "_Crucio!_"

Lily collapsed, screaming, as the pain filled her. She opened her eyes and looked through the tears at the others. "Stun him!" she barked at the watchers. One raised his wand and followed her directions. As soon as the stunner hit him, the pain lifted. Lily collapsed on the floor, curling into a ball and clutching her head painfully. The third year that had called her rushed to her side as the others stayed away from both of them.

"Are you okay?" she asked feverishly. All Lily could do was shiver.

"Oh, man, wait until Potter hears what Diggory did to his girlfriend!" some boy said. Lily groaned. She didn't need James to protect her!

Okay, so maybe his help would have been welcome say, while she was in pain. But it was okay now, it was under her control.

Good God, is that how everyone thought? Before she was a girl with a lot of power and short temper. When did that reduce to merely being James's girlfriend?

"I'm fine, fine," she said and got up, groaning. She focused her dazed eyes on Diggory. "Right, I'll take him to the Hospital Wing. I'll need help, though."

The third year jumped up for the third time in ten minutes and led the way out. Lily could distinctly hear whispers behind her.

"Diggory's in for it now."

"Potter will have his head for sure."

"I heard Black knows a spell to make his…you know…smaller."

"I happen to know Lupin has the brains to think of a potion for almost anything, pleasant or not."

"Man, Diggory won't come back as himself at all."

"He's captured the Marauders' wrath."

Marauders' wrath? What about Lily's wrath? What about the thing she'd do to him if she finds out it had been voluntary? Why the hell was she the damsel in distress?

_It's highly unlikely that anyone in this school would get that allusion. Oh, well. I'll just have to show them._

_But how?_

She came into the hospital wing and levitated Diggory onto a bed. The young boy looked oddly still as the curse was lifted, Dumbledore standing watch over him. His eyes opened slightly, and then he sat up, looking around wildly.

"What's going on?" he demanded. Lily flinched as he glared at her as though she had been the reason he was here.

"You've been behaving curiously," Dumbledore said calmly. He turned his gaze to the Headmaster.

"What?" he asked weakly. Before he could hear an answer, James burst in through the doors and ran over to Lily, Remus, Sirius and Peter behind him. He plopped down on the bed beside her and held her in a tight hug, as though making sure she was really in one piece.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, stroking her hair.

"I'm fine, James," Lily reassured him. Well, if no one thought she was helpless before, they would now.

It's not that she didn't want James to make her feel better. She just wanted him to do it a bit less obviously, to act as if he thought she stood a chance.

Because she did. Against anyone. She was Lily Evans, Head Girl, and the position was well earned. She didn't need James to save her.

"I would've come sooner, but I didn't know, Lily. I didn't know."

Lily sat up, pulling out of the hug. "James, I understand you were worried, but I can take care of myself."

"But I should've been there to protect you!"

"Maybe I didn't need protection! I'm not your damsel in distress, James!"

She stormed out of the Hospital Wing. If Dumbledore or Diggory had heard any of it, they didn't make it known. James turned to the others, a puzzled look on his face. "My what?"

Remus shrugged at him. Sirius looked out the door and shrugged too.

James stood up. "Should I go after her?"

"I would," Remus concluded. Sirius just shrugged again. James nodded and left, running after her.


	39. Green Eyes

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: Once again, I apologize for the gap in my updating. The trouble arises when I have two writing classes, both of which require me to do my homework at home, and not in homeroom. I'm not exactly a model student in that respect… But both classes require me to write all the time, and I've just had a big case of writer's block when it comes to all my stories on fanfiction…it sucks, and I'm sorry. This chapter isn't exactly long, but I had to end it there for a very specific reason, so sorry about that too. Thanks to all who reviewed, sorry to keep you waiting, and please review again, telling me what you think and, if it'll make you feel better, feel free to yell at me for not posting. I understand. Enjoy.

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Chapter 39 – Green Eyes 

"Lily, what's wrong?" James said, turning the corner. Her flaming red hair had just vanished around the bend, but now she was nowhere to be found. He stopped. Maybe he imagined it.

Regulus put the silencing charm on the door. Lily looked at him from her chair, the cloth around her mouth preventing her from speaking. Her hands were tied to the chair and her wand was on a desk.

"What are you doing?" she asked angrily as he took off the white cloth and enabled her to speak.

"Shush, Head Girl, don't go making a fuss," Regulus said happily. Lily frowned at him.

"What? You, are…are you alone?"

Regulus laughed. "Lily, my dear, do you really think I'd bring in those fools with me? I only fancied a chat. I daresay, Bella will just as soon torture you as look at you!" He glanced at her frowning face. "No offence meant, of course. Just blood heritage and all."

"Regulus, why have you kidnapped me?" Lily asked patiently. He laughed.

"Do you expect me to believe you'd come of your own accord after that horrible first week? Lily, I'm smarter than that."

Lily said nothing. She looked around that the empty classroom. "Regulus, untie me."

He smiled and leaned forward. "No. I won't untie you. Because if I do you'll slap me and run for your wand, and we don't want that, do we?"

"Speak for yourself."

He laughed. "My, my, talking back now, I see. I wonder, Lily, have you thought about your current position?"

"What? What do you mean? You're holding me hostage!"

He spun his chair and sat down, resting his chin in the chair's back and facing her. "Exactly, my dear Lily. It's not nice to make fun of people with more power than you…"

"More power than me? Regulus Black, if you don't release me right this instant, you will pay!"

He laughed loudly this time, a laugh that killed all hope in Lily's mind. "Pay in what? Face it, you're here until I choose to release you. It's that simple and it's that obvious."

"Why am I here, Regulus. I should be in the hospital wing, Amos has-"

"Amnesia, which is a side effect of the Imperious Curse Bella put on him in the hope that you would try to stop him. I'm sorry you had to get hurt, but her plan was vital for me to activate mine."

"What plan do you have, Regulus?" Lily asked, frightened.

"Relax, Head Girl, I'm not out to do you harm. In fact, I just might save your life today."

"What?" Lily asked and stopped trying to rip out of her restraints.

"Your life, Evans. I assume you're rather attached to it at the moment."

Despite the situation, lily smiled at his dark humor. "Yes, I tend to like existence."

"Well, existence may not last very long if you don't pay attention to what I'm about to tell you."

"Will you untie me?" she asked.

Regulus sighed and looked at her. His attention was immediately drawn to her green eyes.

He wished she could look at him the same way she saw James. He certainly wasn't alone with that thought, either. Practically every guy had noticed how beautiful she is. But every guy also noticed how menacing James Potter can be.

He always knew just why Severus Snape would always, without admitting to anyone, swallow his pride and like her, like the Mudblood. But not he knew what brought him to it as well. It was those eyes, captivating, staring at him from beneath the escaping curls. And they captivated him, too, every time her set eyes on them. Her smile put a sparkle in her eyes that seemed to last forever, a warm glow that took over everyone else. He sighed.

"I suppose," he said offhandedly and flicked them away with his wand. She rubbed her wrists and looked up at him.

"What was it that you needed to tell me?" she asked, reaching across the desk and taking her wand. Regulus glanced at her hand as it grasped the wood, but did nothing to stop it.

"Well, Lily, I guess you might as well relax, it'll take me a while to explain."

It did. Well over four hours later, after she had assured him she wouldn't tell anyone what he told her, she left the room. Realizing it was time for dinner, she headed to the Great Hall. As she entered, she smiled and was greeted by stares from everyone. Her smile diminished in light of the whispering. What happened?

James stood up and ran towards her, hugging her as she stood there, dumbstruck. What was wrong?

"Are you okay?" James whispered in her ear as he hugged her. She smiled.

"Yes, of course I am. Why, shouldn't I be?"

James looked at her and smiled. "No, of course you should be. I just got…worried, that's all. You've been gone a long time, you know."

"Oh, I was just talking to…the centaurs in the forest. They're really fun to talk to, you know."

"Just at the forest? Until dinnertime?" James asked, astounded. The regular talking had started up again, and he led her to a seat.

"Yeah. Why, did something happen?"

James laughed. "Did something happen?" he repeated, and laughed again. "Lily, you disappeared! Of course something happened! I was looking for you for three hours before Dumbledore stopped me and said to wait a bit, you'll come by yourself!"

Lily looked at him. "Oh, James, I'm sorry you were worried. I really am. I just needed to cool down, I guess. And…sorry about earlier."

"So you're not mad at him, threatening to leave him and never speak or see him again?" Sirius asked with a smile.

"No! James, is that what you thought?" she asked, astonished. James mumbled something along the lines of "Well, yes, I guess…" and Lily laughed again.

"James, I love you. I'll never leave you," she said matter-of-factly and, while James was staring at her, turned to Sirius. "Pass the salt, please."


	40. Goodbye, Hogwarts

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: Sorry for the delay. And I apologize for the short chapter, but there really wasn't much to write about at this point. Anyway, thanks to all reviewers, you guys rock! W00t! As always, enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 40 – Goodbye, Hogwarts 

The Easter holidays came and went, nothing stressful happening, save the fact that it brought the N.E.W.T.s ever so closer. Lily was close to a nervous breakdown by the time they were over, and James hadn't even picked up a book, on account of playing pranks with Sirius and the others. He claimed that he didn't need to study, and, after the third time they were over this, Lily just let it go.

However, while James was out with the Marauders, Lily didn't exactly study herself. Instead she spent it relaxing, reading, and thinking. She didn't dare write down what Regulus told her, but she thought about it, thought how to handle it. And every time, she came up with nothing.

* * *

Regulus, on the other hand, didn't spend his holidays doing any studying or fun at all. Instead, he was yet again arguing with his "friends", the day before break ended.

"Why not now, then?" Bellatrix asked eagerly. Regulus sighed.

"Why now, cousin? I see no point in doing it now."

"No point? The end of the year is coming, Regulus. Are you suggesting that we wait until they can go into hiding?"

"Use your head, Bella," Snape cut in. "Dumbledore would surely suspect something. What use are we to the Dark Lord if we manage to get thrown in Azkaban over one murder of a Muggleborn?"

"Not _a _Muggleborn! _The _Muggleborn! The one he has said was too strong for her own good. The one he said to keep an eye on!"

"Yes, Bella, keep an eyes on. Not murder!" Regulus said hotly. Honestly, the homicidal tendencies in his cousin were getting harder to control. "He only hoped Lily took his words to heart.

"That's the thing, isn't it? That's why he will reward us! We will go out of our way, save him trouble! We'd graduate and instantly be in his inner circle."

"Look, what if he has plans for her?"

"Lucius is behind this!"

"Lucius has only been out of Hogwarts for two years! He's not in the Dark Lord's inner circle!"

"Rodolphus-"

"Same with your husband! Look, it's enough that we snuck them into the school once for that little trick we pulled at the beginning of the year. It took Lucius an arm and a leg to let them ride the Express with us after vacation. They can't risk coming here again. It's just not worth it, Bella!"

"Not worth it? We could gain the Dark Lord's favor so easily and you're passing it up?"

"Or we could die!" Regulus yelled. Bellatrix looked stunned. "What if he had a different plan for her? What if he needs her alive? Us killing her will earn slow and painful deaths at his hand!"

"Why would he need the filthy Mudblood?"

"Lily Evans is nothing if not brilliant in potions and charms," Snape cut in. "She has studied too much to be just easily killed when the Dark Lord can use her knowledge."

Bellatrix fumed. "Fine!" she shrieked, throwing her hands in the air. "Wait until we leave this hell-hole! Protect the damn Mudblood!"

"It's not about protection," Snape said calmly. Bellatrix turned to him sharply.

"Not about protection, Severus? I've seen the way you look at her, the way you sneak glances when you think no one's looking! You've fallen under her spell! The lust in your eyes is unmistakable! Don't you _dare _tell me it's not about protection!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Snape yelled, standing up.

"I know more than you, you coward!"

"Coward? COWARD?" Snape yelled angrily, his wand pointing at Bellatrix's neck. "Just a simple little spell, Bella, and we'll see who the coward is!" he whispered.

"Severus! Enough!" Regulus called out. Snape slowly put his wand away, glaring at Bellatrix.

"Choose your words wisely, woman. The Dark Lord will not tolerate your short temper," Snape warned and strode off. He left the dorm room and slammed the door.

Bellatrix turned back to Regulus. "He always gets the last word, doesn't he?" she said.

"Have patience, cousin. We'll get Evans soon enough," Regulus said quietly. He moved over to his bed and sat down.

"You've been a good boy lately, haven't you, Regulus?" Bellatrix asked sweetly.

_Does that woman this of anything besides death and sex?_ "I suppose."

"I daresay it's time you are rewarded. You seem to be able to keep your head in a crisis," Bellatrix said, sitting next to him on the bed.

_What the hell?_ "Why, cousin, are you suggesting what I think you are?"

For an answer, she locked the door and removed her shirt.

* * *

The next few months were spent in mayhem. The seventh and fifth years had the small knowledge that they were safe from pranks until their tests were over, on Lily's insistence. However, this didn't stop the Marauders from dying everyone else's hair magenta for a week, leaving several fake "surprises" for McGonagall to find, causing Dumbledore's hat to become a very confused newt, and, in general, spending most of their time on their precious jokes. They finally settled down a bit during the actual N.E.W.T.s. While James and Sirius took them and then laughed about it, Peter seemed worried, even though he only had to worry about one in Charms. Remus and Lily seemed to be the only ones willing to study. As a result, the other three were constantly being told to go away while Lily and Remus quizzed each other. This also resulted in large amounts of butterbeer to turn up every night unexpectedly.

So, after the last N.E.W.T., Lily and Remus decided to let loose. By jumping into the lake.

"Merlin, that water's cold!" Lily said as she shivered. James threw his cloak around her.

"Well, what'd you go and do that for?" he asked. Lily looked at him. He was just as wet as she was.

"You followed!"

"You led."

"High spirits cloud my judgment," Remus mumbled from beneath his cloak, which was dry a minute ago, but was visibly becoming wetter. Lily nodded.

"And tell Sirius if he doesn't stop laughing at me, I'll hex him!" Lily yelled loud enough to reach the laughing Marauder, who was sitting under a tree. The same tree he had been sitting after his O.W.L.s in fifth year.

"Sorry, Lily!" Sirius said in between gales of laughter. "It's just…too…funny!"

With a flick of her wand, Sirius was suspended upside down by his ankles.

"Hey! Let me go!"

Lily carefully guided him over the lake. "Deep breath now!"

"You're cruel!" Sirius said just before he hit the water and came out just as soaked as they were. Lily carefully guided him back to the shore and let him down. Now Peter was the only one laughing.

"Shut up, Peter, before I do it to you!" Sirius snapped and Peter shut up, walked over to them, and sat down, smiling contently at being the only one dry.

"_Aguamenti!_" Sirius cried and soon Peter was soaked as well. He stopped smiling in the wake of everyone else laughing.

"What'd you do that for, Padfoot?" he said irritably, taking off his wet cloak.

"You were the only one left dry," James said. "Sirius just beat me to it."

Slowly, the five made their way back to the tree. Sirius began turning random patches of grass different colors. Peter cheered him on, while Remus started doing the leaves on the tree. Pretty soon it looked like a scene from a surreal painting.

James sat against the bark, Lily laying her head on his chest. He looked down at her and smiled. She was his. Finally, she was his.

"Lily," he said. She turned to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too."

James looked at her, marveling at her beauty. "Marry me," he said softly.

"What?" Lily asked. He didn't just propose, did he?

"Lily," James said, spinning her to stand upright. He went down on one knee, taking out a small package he's been carrying since Easter. "Will you marry me?"

Lily looked at him. He was proposing. To her! Along with the brilliant colors around them, it seemed almost…magical.

The effect was somewhat spoiled by Sirius's cry of "Oh, bugger. He's gone and settled down."

* * *

Sins of Angels: Well, that's it! "Joyful Sadness" is complete! Boy, what a relief, I usually never finish things. This is where I'm stopping, because the last chapter number had to either be a multiple of ten, or a prime number, because I'm weird like that. Anyway, thank you to all my readers! It's finally ended. Now I'll probably start to finish the prequel and only after that will I fill in the gap I've left between this and the last day of their life. Thank you to all those who went along for the ride, and hope you had fun! 


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